Assalam-u-alaikum to whom it may concern,

asked 154 a_hassan's gravatar image
edited Dec 30 '12 at 09:57

The question has been closed for the following reason "The question is answered, right answer was accepted" by a_hassan Dec 30 '12 at 09:53

For this time I'll try to give you a short answer.

My sympathies are with you, but what I am getting from your situation is that the real problem lies in your family, you were raised in such a Muslim family who were not practicing Muslims and I think they never tried to give you the knowledge of Allah's deen. And the society in which you raised is also responsible, you are what people around you. If you are in a company of good people they will teach you good and if your company is bad they will teach you to do bad things. The thing is you followed the people around you, your friends had boyfriends so it encourages you and eventually you too had a boyfriend and you crossed your limits and by this time its too late. Because if you went physical with one boy so now its nothing left for you and your this sin dug deeper and deeper. And the reason why everything in your life looks scattered is because you tried to find happiness in people and not in Allah that's the problem. If you give more importance to people around you than Allah and his Messenger (S.A.W) then Allah will take everything what you loved and to which you give more importance then Allah, so that you will return to Allah. And my advice to you is that don't make your own standards for Allah's forgiveness that if you get your desired person back then Allah forgives you if not then Allah has not forgiven you. Ask forgiveness to Allah and ask that Allah will give you what is best for you. Look at your past, who ever you thought the best for you they all left you crying actually whole your life you ask for what you want and not what is best for you. The good thing is that your husband knows about your past and I appreciate that you told him. Do you know how I turned to Islam? No, not because I was raised in a Muslim family. But because of some family problems (similar to yours but not the same) and by the person to whom I loved the most but she insulted me every time whenever she got a chance. But now Alhamdulillah I am in peace and really I didn't care for her not one percent because now she is not the center of my Life, the center of life of every Muslim should be Allah (S.W.T) and his Messenger (S.A.W) :-)

Btw who told you that Allah-ta-ala doesnt forgive those who can not forgive them self? If you are the sinner then you can not forgive yourself but you ask Allah to forgive you. It is said that if you ask forgiveness for yourself then you should forgive others too.

And for this sin, Islam has described the punishment. I guess you didn't know about the punishment when you committed this sin or did you? And your parents didn't provide you the necessary teachings of Islam, so you can ask to a true Alima and provide her with total detail and ask her what to do next. Findings answers on this or on any other islamic forum will not be sufficient enough and you can not take further steps without consulting to an Islamic Scholar.

link
answered 1.2k16 believer's gravatar image
edited Dec 29 '12 at 03:09

Salaam sister... Right now im going thru sooo many family problems! I dont even know what to say after reading your story... I just hope it all gets sorted out for you... Just remember what your purpose of life is... We are the servants of Allah... Pray truly from the heart 5 times a day... Pray tahajudd... Explore Islam and inshAllah you will get satisfaction... About the guy you love, he left you because of your past right? (I think that's what you said) We all do many bad things in our past and to forgive and forget is a very big thing... Ask Allah for forgiveness and inshAllah the guy will forgive you too... If that doesn't happen then maybe Allah has someone better for you... Just remember that everything happens for the best... I know how hard it is to think that way but trust me just try and life will be beautiful! Sometimes we think that what we want and think is best for us but no we dont, we dont know what is best for us, Allah does! Hope everything gets better for you inshAllah... Tc

link
answered 655 Bubbles123's gravatar image

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text](http://url.com/ "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Tags:

×161
×39
×36

Asked: Dec 28 '12 at 09:56

Seen: 1,484 times

Last updated: Dec 30 '12 at 09:57


©1998-2013 Islam.com Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.