Assalamualaikum. My name is Ahmad Fikri. I am from Malaysia. I been Islam in my entire life but never follow or truss the religion. This is because I am Islam by blood (my father and mother are Islam). I never do bad thing entire life until one day that make me feel something is missing in my life.
A few day before Hari Raya Haji, my father die due to heart attack. I never like my father because he used to torture my mentally and my psychologically because he used to think us (his kids) are the reason the marriage fail. He even torture my mother until she broke her spine when I was 7 years old which is during pre divorce. The reason I hate my father because at that time even I cry to beg to stop, he keep doing it like a freaking mad men (my mother fine, alive and can walk today even from the injury she get).
I need a change. My father dead and I do not want to be bad child. Please help me
I can understand your situation because I have been to a similar situation like you when I was a child even till the previous year, but Alhamdulillah all is well now.
I know when you see wrong doings in front of your eyes and you cry and you find no way out. Then you ask Allah why only me? Actually we people never know the wisdom of Allah behind our situations and we only ask Allah (S.W.T)
"why me why me, me and my mother have never done a bad to anyone. I was just a child, I haven't done any thing wrong that time then why I have faced these situations? "
Actually these were my thoughts some time ago. I am not saying that you think that way as well, you maybe or maybe not thought that way too.
I told you these things so that you will know that you are not a bad child if you hate your father for whatever bad he had done to you and to your mother. Pity on your father that after he died his family have no good memories of him.
Just believe in Allah (S.W.T), because there are very very bad people in this world (not saying this about your father but in general) that whole of their life they make the lives of others around them miserable, and if he is a family member so he can make the life more miserable. There are no solutions for those kind of people and when they die, people take the breath of relief.