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Salamo alaikom Im a muslim guy whos married to a non-muslim ( jewish ) women, when i first met my wife i wasnt really much into islam, drinking alcohol, zina (as a single), not fasting ramadan and many other sins may Allah forgive me. Im very gratefull for Allah that has guided me to the right path recently with his heedaya al hamedoo leelah, now i try to do my best to please Allah in all different ways and repent from my past sins. I would really love and be the most happy if my wife could embrace Islam, shes a very good person, big heart full of goodness, very loyal,she has helped me in the past like no one has ever helped me in my whole life, very educated( phds), and i love her very much,she does respect the fact that i follow my religion strictly and never complains about it, she fully supports me ...the problem is that im sure 100% that she will never convert in her life..its just a question of conviction like for us muslims, it just wont happen unless heedaya from Allah, another problem is that now i cant deal with some stuff that before wasnt even bothering me like for example facebook ex boyfriends and plp that she has been with, they are good plp too and very respectful but she still in touch with them as friends and that bothers me now as a married muslim man, alcohol drinking..i just cant stand it in my home or her drinking it anymore... and many other things.., Im really starting to seriousely considering a divorce because i feel that its not fair for her and me to be living that way, but in the other hand i feel like im gonna betray her and harm her because she hasen`t done anything wrong all she ever did is to love me and be there for me.. (we dont have kids yet).... What to do now?? help is much appreciate it jazakoom Allah.

asked 1012 hamza2012's gravatar image

Noble Verse 2:221 Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But God beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise."

i think its not fair that u living that way going against Allah Order. its not a smallest sin its one of the bigger sin , Ask her to be a muslium if she really cares about u and love u and if u love her then ask her to be muslium. do u love to see yr wife put into hell fire. if she did not want to ba a muslium than leave her immediately bcoz they put a lie against Allah and his Messsanger and they are betraying the humanity , All your repent are in-vain until u make her muslium or leave her.

answered 1075 rehanalam's gravatar image

100% correct answer has been provided by @rehanalam.

(Jan 02 '13 at 02:11) Irfan Alam ♦ Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

Ask her to be Muslim. If she agreed then live with her.

If not agreed to become Muslim then leave her.


(Jan 02 '13 at 02:12) Irfan Alam ♦ Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

Sorry but you all are way off base, leave your wife because she won't become Muslim? This woman obviously held a space where he could come back into practicing Islam stronger, and in ways has been a gift from Allah to him. Brother, keep teaching her, ask her to share in things with you, come to Jumma prayer, listen to Quran sometimes. She is not forbidden from drinking Alcohol. But you can speak softly and kindly to her about things that are harder for you now. I have Jewish wife so I understand, she is very kind. I wish too she would become Muslim too, but for her, not for me. Ramadan Kareem!

(Aug 03 '13 at 04:26) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

I agree with what you have said except where she is not forbidden to drink alcohol. Doesn't it state that in all scriptures? Ramadan Kareem. Salam

(Aug 03 '13 at 04:38) sadie ♦ sadie's gravatar image

Sorry, you are likely correct! I had just remembered that in Iran Jews can keep alcohol privately I think for their ritual- she is allowed to drink wine on sabbath I believe, but even that I am not sure if it is original or something Rabbi's made up later.I went to synagogue with my wife and the psalms from David are beautiful, filled with devotion and light. But the service itself, the form of worship for Jews seems to have been largely lost since the destruction of the temple 2000 years ago...and so things have been made up. But Allah knows best I don't really know. Salaam

(Aug 03 '13 at 04:57) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

I reverted to Islam in July 2012. My husband did not revert. But I stayed with him having hope that he would be convinced to accept Islam. I never asked him to revert. He never prevented me from practicing my religion and he never prevented me from teaching Islam to our children. He just began reading the Quran 2 weeks ago! He is asking many questions and is gaining more understanding of Islam. Even his mother has started reading the Quran and asking about Islam. I have still never asked him to revert. Yet, in sha Allah, they will both come to Islam. What is your belief? Do you think your wife may change from seeing the change in your life?

answered 96511 cocolia42's gravatar image

cocolia42 mashallah first of all i really congrats you on reverting back to your own religion and also helping yr husband and your mother in law to accept the religion .i pray for u Allah guide you more on the right track and Allah will give best reward for you work .Can you share your story how you revert to Islam thanks? As far as question is concerned person already said I m sure 100% that she will never convert in her life? so i ask him to convert her or leave her .

(Jan 08 '13 at 00:41) rehanalam rehanalam's gravatar image

I'm happy to share my story, but it is a long one for here. If you'd like you can email me or find me on facebook ( or go to

(Jan 09 '13 at 13:43) cocolia42 cocolia42's gravatar image

my brother only allah guides someone to the true way,dont say your wife can never accept to convert to islam,let me give u an example of myself,i became muslim on 25 november 2012.who made me change?i promised my self never ever ever change my church worse still my 1 asked me to repent,but i was changed and convinced by the life style of one muslim brother,how he submitted himself to allah,how he loved his religion,thats what made me change.he was very suprized when i told him i want to embrace islam,because he was not my friend,we just knew eachother as classmates,so that realy shocked him.he asked me many times why i wanted to embrace islam,but i just told him that i have wasted a lot of time as a christian,now i wanted to follow the true just 20 years,a military student studing in a foreign country is a christian nation,they know very little about islam,they have even threatened to fire me because of my new religion,my family cant even accept that fact because they think am just joking,so am yet to meet them inshaa allah in july when i finish my course,i dont know what will happen to me,but i know allah knows whats best for dont worry,just pray for your wife,inshaa allah ,she will be guided to the i pray for my whole nation,i pray that 1 day it will be declared a muslim nation,inshaa allah.salam

answered 12419 khadijah's gravatar image

Walikum Assalam Brother,

Do not leave her, try to convince her to embrace Islam by your good actions and not by your words only.

And she is totally lawful for you, as the Holy Qur'an says,

"This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers." (Holy Quran, 5:5)

Muslim men are permitted to marry women from the "People of the Book."

When you marry her you know what she does, you know her drinking habbits and chatting on facebook. And so it will not be fair with her if you just leave her now. Because if you leave her, you will give her a very bad impression of The Religion of Islam, and she might think that because of Islam her husband left her and she will think that it would be better if Allah (S.W.T) haven't gave you heedayah.

Brother show her the path of Jannah and Mercy by your actions. I suppose she is a good girl and she should be treated the same way. :-)

answered 1.2k16 believer's gravatar image

@khadijah is right. Allah guides whom He pleases. So don't give up on your wife so easily. Have patience and give dawah through your actions.

answered 96511 cocolia42's gravatar image

We must not make haram for ourselves what Allah has made halal for us. Muslim men are allowed to marry believing christian and Jewish women. Having said that, a wife with bad habits that can impact on the children of the marriage is a liability and since to divorce or keep her is a matter of choice, I think the best judgement rests with the husband. If she is good and religious and you have no fear that she would make your children leave the fold of Islam then continue giving her dawa through your actions and speeches and pray for her to see the light of Islam.

answered 202 halibra's gravatar image

@halibra do u find today a believing Christian and Jews are they really believers of book . The book that has changed and not in the original Condition any more .

answered 1075 rehanalam's gravatar image

They can be believers of the Book still, you don't believe in a book, you believe in Allah, there are many good Jews and Christians.

(Aug 03 '13 at 04:28) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

Glad other people posting had more sense than the first post... Hope you are well brother!

answered 0542135 UnknownUser's gravatar image
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Asked: Jan 01 '13 at 22:21

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Last updated: Aug 03 '13 at 04:57

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