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Assalaaa Mu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaaatahuuuuu. Brothers and Sisters

THIS WILL BE A LONG STORY . its about my life and any advice will be appreciated.

I lived in UK. I was taken abroad when I was 15. I was told it was going to be a holiday but when I got there I was told I have to get married in order to go back UK. So at the age of 15 my mind was in all directions. i was told if i got married i will be going back with my mum and siblings. i agreed to get married. then i was told i wont be going back with my family back to UK and i will have to live with my husband for the rest of my life. for the first few months it was hell i cried every night .my husband was okay he didn't treat me bad or horrible. i then gave up and thought i'm destined to live like this. i wasn't allowed to go out or go to study. a few months went by and i couldn't take it anymore i wanted to go back. my father said if i want to go back i will have to get pregnant. and so i did but i wasn't allowed to go back just yet. i stayed abroad till i was 7 months pregnant and my mum payed for my ticket back to UK. my dad made life hell i wasn't allowed to watch TV or go out or make friends. i would spend hours and hours in my room doing nothing. if i wanted to eat something i would have to pay for everything i touch. so life was just like that i got the hang of it and never used to complain. i gave birth a day before eid in November 2009. life just got worse. if my baby cried he would curse me all night. if my mum wanted to help me he wouldn't speak to her and he would say he will divorce her if she helped me. my father kicked me out with my three month old baby because he wanted all the benefits i got for me and my daughter to be in his hand. because i refused he didn't want me in the house. i stayed with my aunt for a few days and i applied for homeless and i was offered a flat really far from where i live. my mum called me and begged me to refuse the offer and come back home. so for my mums sake i went back to live in hell. my father somehow changed my husband. my husband would demand money from me and if i don't send him he would verbally abuse me. if i had my phone on silent and i missed a call from him he would call me a slag and what not. i kept everything in my heart and didn't complain to anyone. in 2010 my inlaws wanted to see their granddaughter so i saved up every penny i can and went abroad because they refused to pay for our tickets. life was even tougher now that i had a baby they did nit support me even with nappies or milk. if i asked them i need milk or i need something for the baby they would say speak to your mum and let her send you money. i stayed there for 3 months thinking they would change but it was too much i didn't want to put my baby through all that. i came back to uk and same as usual nothing new problems where same with my father. i somehow managed to keep it all in my heart. in 2011 things where okay with my husband he did still verbally abused me but i thought he is my husband i cant disobey him and his word is what goes. i used to send him money all the time because he always said he wants to start a business so i always helped him but he never seemed to work. so around September time in 2011 i packed my suitcase and saved money for the tickets to go back abroad so they can see their granddaughter. my husband called me and told me he needs money and i didn't have any to spare as i was getting ready to go and see them . when i told him i don't have any he said fine i don't want u don't come abroad. and that was the last straw for me. i unpacked my suitcase and spoke to my mum about getting a divorce. i spoke to the whole family about a divorce and my husbands family said give us our money back and give us our granddaughter. i saved and i borrowed money and spoke again and told them i have the money but then they said speak to your father even though he already new but he had previously told them that he wont help me with the divorce and he will shut me up. i kept bringing up the subject about my divorce but each time i spoke they will shut me up and say wait . its been about a year or so and i'm still waiting. i spoke to my father about 2 weeks ago and i told him if he doesn't help me i will have to do it my self at a Islamic center and he started threatening me with black magic and he will pay men to rape me and he would kill me and all sorts of threats. i forgot to mention my husband also used to threaten me with black magic and since his daughter was born he has not supported me or her with a penny. also i didn't not get mahr or dowry or any money whatsoever . i was given a necklace and 3 bangles but my father took the bangles and sold them and took the money for himself.

i was told i could go to an Islamic center and get a divorce letter .

asked 815 ummaysa's gravatar image
edited Jan 31 '13 at 12:12 Ubi ♦ 1.2k517 Ubi's gravatar image

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DEAR SISTER, ASSALAM U ALAIKUM !! MAY ALLAH GIVES YOU HAPPINESS AND FORGIVES YOUR'S AND YOURS FAMILY EVERY SINS.

SISTER I APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE, MAY ALLAH HELP YOUR FATHER , MOTHER AND YOUR DAUGHTER AND U. SISTER I WANT TO GIVE AN IDEA OF ACTIVE RESPONSE, IN HANDLING SUCH PEOPLE AND GIVING A SUITABLE RESPONSE TO THEIR ACTIONS.

1ST POINT : BE INDEPENDENT , DO NOT DEPEND ON HUMANS, ONLY TRUST ON ALLAH.
2ND POINT: FORGIVE YOUR FATHER , AND ALL THOSE WHO HAVE INSULTED YOU AND THINK TO HARM YOU.
3RD POINT: BE HAPPY , CUZ HIGHER THE RESPONSIBILITY , HIGHER THE REWARD. THIS ALL EVENT REFECT TO A GREAT START JOURNEY TO THE ENDLESS LIFE, SO BE HAPPY.
4TH POINT: OFFER SALAH AND GIVE UR QUESTIONS TO ALLAH.
5TH POINT: TRY TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH, I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU ILL OR TENSE OR FEELING ANY PRESSURE OF LIFE, GENERATED BY BAD HUMANS. YOU MUST PRAY FOR THEM.
6TH POINT: TRUST ON PEOPLE MAY CAUSE DAMAGE, THAT YOU CAN SEE.... SO LEARN FROM PAST, OR YOU CAN SAY LEARN FROM MISTAKES.

7TH: START WORKING SELF, SO YOU CAN FEED YOUR CHILD, DO NOT RELY ON OTHERS.

-ON COMPUTER, OPEN BROWSER -> GOOGLE.COM-> "ONLNE DATA ENTRY IN ...[UR COUNTRY NAME]".
-DO WRITE ARTICLES ON DIFFERENT TOPICS:
-GET PEOPLE HOW IN NEED OF WEBSITE DEVELOPMENT, ANDROID AND IPHONE APP'S, AND FORWARD IT TO THE SOFTWARE HOUSE. MAKE A DEAL WITH THE SOFTWARE HOUSE, WHAT CLIENT I WILL GIVE TO YOU, YOU'LL GIVE ME 10% OF IT.
-VIRTUAL CALL CENTERS. (IN MY PAST I WAS WORKNG FOR A CALL CENTER .. FOR UK PEOPLE ELEC AND GASS) FOR THAT SEARCH ONLINE CALL CENTERS OR HOME BASED CALL CENTERS.
-SALES AND PURCHASES.
- TEACHER AT SCHOOL

8TH POINT: SIS DONT AFRAID OF BLACK MAGIC, DO READ AYAT-AL-KURSI AND MAKE A HISAR, TRUST IN ALLAH THAT YOU AND YOUR CHILD WILL NOT BE HARMED BY THIS POOR THING.

9TH POINT: PLEASE DONT TRUST ANY PERSON DOING BLACK MAGIC, THAT I CAN DO THAT OR THAT. 10TH POINT: "ALLAH KI RAZA MAI RAZI REH K KHUSH HONA CHAHEYA" (URDU LANGUAGE) - BE HAPPY WITH LIFE. AND ONE MORE SAYING IN URDU: "ZINDAGI JIS TARAH LANDI HAI US TARAH LANGAE JAO" WORDS BY A PIOUS MEN I MET.

SISTER - I AM A SOFTWARE DEVELOPER , I WISH YOU DO PRAY FOR ME, TILL THE END OF UR LIFE. I REALLY NEED PRAYERS ALL OF U.

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answered 3014 Suhaib's gravatar image

Keep the faith and allah will take you out of this problem ok.

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answered 1311 Ibrahim%20bah's gravatar image

dear sister i just read this post wallahi all my life I've never heard of any human on earth with this situation. My advice keep obeying ur husband & parent nor matter what under on Allah says such a marriage is never accepted in islam i feel really empathetic about u may Allah assist u' may he protect u & ur daughter, may Allah accept this jihad frm may this patience be d cause of u entry paradise. pls sister i will want to know u to know once a while how is d progress of ur situation.

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answered 355 salihu's gravatar image

The Prophet Muhammad (ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam) was asked, “O Messenger of Allāh, which of the people are the most sorely tested?” He said: “The Prophets, then those similar, then those similar. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of faith. If his faith is strong, he will be tested more severely, and if his faith is weak, he will be tested in accordance with his faith. Calamity will keep befalling a person until he walks on the earth with no sin on him” .

dear sister reading this brought tears to my eyes.....and really hats off for being sabir and a stronger person ..i do suggest you to ask ALLAH do istakhara ask for his help ........do it yourself

He knows what is in every heart cause He is near our jugular vein .things will get better inshaALLAH and you will be rewarded by ALLAH the way you wont even think of .he closes one door and open hundreds of them. be practical and start living for YOUR SELF ..black magic cannot harm if it is not a hukam of ALLAH .even a leaf from tree cannot fall without ALLAH'S hukam .recite QURAN it will protect you i went through bad timings myself ..but i think it was just a percent of what you are experiencing .i was not sabir like you took some time to understand what ALLAH was showing me .i cried and cried and then i even didnt realized when strength came inside and i became a survivor i fought ..still am fighting ... you are in my prayers sister life will be kind to you very soon ...

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answered 302 devori's gravatar image
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Asked: Jan 22 '13 at 08:16

Seen: 6,036 times

Last updated: Apr 12 at 11:10


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