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I am married for around 12 years. We have 2 girl-childs. We both are into business & both contribute equally towards household expenses. We live a modest & humble lifestyle.

Both of us loved each other very much although our close-relatives played spoilsport in our lives all these years, by negatively brainwashing my wife against me. My wife's mother & sister spread false & baseless rumours against me in the family that I don't earn anything thus maligning my image.

Since last 14 months, my wife's attitude & behaviour has completely changed towards me & she refuses to have sex with me. I am frustrated due to lack of physical intimacy with her. She has become very rude & arrogant, very opposite to her actual nature which was soft, polite & humble. Please help & provide your valuable guidance to win back my wife's love again.

Allah haafiz

asked 10112 msiddique's gravatar image
closed Jun 08 '13 at 23:18 sadie ♦ 1.6k315 sadie's gravatar image

Walikum Assalam,

Brother, Sorry to say but you looked me biased. Are you really sure that there was not a single fault of yours own? Because it really didn't click me that why would your mother and sister in law try to damage the married life of her daughter. However I am quoting you couple of Hadith (S.A.W) that you can tell your wife, But remember if you tried to force your wife or tount her regularly or used the sayings of Holy Prophet (S.A.W) or quotations from Holy Qur'an for your advantage and you denied all her rights and you only talk about your rights then INSHALLAH you will be destroyed.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460

Narrated by Abu Huraira (R.A)

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.122

Narrated by Abu Huraira (R.A)

The Prophet (saws) said, "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)."

answered 1.2k16 believer's gravatar image

the angles either curse or spit at the woman who denies her husband sex until morning because you know how we act and how hard it is to resist temptation. try to sort things out but if nothing works talk to her well you should have done that first actually. BY THE WAY I AM 16 AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MARRIAGE.

answered 11 ali%20d's gravatar image

Dear brother, I can understand your situation. Marriage takes tremendous effort and has its moments of ups and downs; we all have experienced it at some point in our lives. The problem in intimacy is closely related to two things; you have become comfortable with each other, and communication.

When you are married in your first years you are on your better behavior, are kind considerate and are willing to make them happy. You talk to each other surprise each other and cherish life, that brings about intimacy and not just mechanical relief of sexual urges. When you take each others presence for granted and are just living like roommates then intimacy slowly diminishes. So treat your wife the way you treated her in the first years of marriage and talk to her where things went wrong and voice your concerns.

Most importantly make dua for troubles in marriage to be al right.

answered 334 ANZ's gravatar image

in my opinion it is medical problem which your wife is facing in short she has decreased sexual desire that is why her attitude is change. some time it decrease in men some time in women it depends by reading the article you find problem why it happen Decrease sexual desire in males /females

answered 03 saleemkhan's gravatar image

Dear brother Believer, There are wives who starve you sexually to gain control of your life even if you do everything possible for them and there are families who misguide their own daughters in it... they just hide whatever you say and do positive for her and keep feeding her with fake and false things about you and its you and your wife suffering in the end...

In my case, I had done everything for her but I think I have been punished for loving... my wife just left me one day saying that why do your family members call you and why do you talk to them.. I do not know if I am not allowed to talk to my siblings or my parents once I get married... it has been more than 4 months now that there has been almost no contact... she did it two times before but I brought her back but she took it as my weakness and this time I wanted her family to talk about this and resolve this matter... and actually tell her that this thinking of hers is wrong... but her family never did it even when I asked them explicitly...

Now, I was in a hurry to marry because I used to get depressed that I have masterbated and the feeling of sins was too bad...and I did whatever it took to get married... but now after nikah I have been in the same situation... no matter how hard I try... I end up doing the same due to all this...

I did try in directly that may be she has realized or her family might want to tell her the right thing... but all in vain...

So, my question is that she has ruined my life... I live all alone (as I moved to different country for geting married and risked my very good job) ... I do not have any one to talk to... I am suffering depression now... and too much down in my life...

so, the angles curse her but what about me... why do I have to suffer through all this and what about her family that has been misguiding her all the way through... should I expect anything fair in my life for all this happening to me for nothing?

answered 0543146 UnknownUser's gravatar image
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Asked: Jan 25 '13 at 08:10

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Last updated: Jun 08 '13 at 23:18

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