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Slms all. I have been married for almost 2 years. i fell pregnant very shortly after we got married, possibly even within the first two weeks. I was terribly excited to find out about my pregnancy, my husband not so much. My husband was married before, and the reason for his and his ex-wifes divorce was due to infidelity on his part. I was aware of this. i knew this when i married him but was so blinded by all the love i felt that i believed it would never happen to me. Early into our marriage i found that we would not have intercourse regularly, initially i told myself that maybe he was tired. i made excuses for him and to make myself feel better untill i couldn't ignore it anymore. He and i would only have intercourse when i complained, i have spoken to him multiple times, begged, pleaded, offered diferent forms of help that he and i would go through together, but to no avail. I am almost 2 years married and i dont think my husband and i have slept together more than 20times. I have noticed that there is only ever messages from me or his and our close family in his message inbox. Or calls from his work or me or family on his phone. i am suspicious of his phone activity because i know how busy his phone gets. I dont know how to address my suspicions. I dont even know how to feel anymore. I make duah and beg and cry for the Almighty to help and guide me.I gained alot of weight during my pregnancy, and i even started feeling that this may be the route of my problem. Whats bad is that i find myself having to pretend that i am happy. How do i address this problem. |
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Sister, I think before marriage you should be ready for this. Because you have said yourself that your husband was married before and not only once but maybe twice or thrice as you wrote "ex-wives". So you should be ready that he can cheat you as well. And second thing, are you really sure that your husband is cheating you? Because he was not, then he may get very upset with you. |
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To be candid, you are the real cause of your problem. Since you already knew this attitute of your husband before you got married to him,so why are you now complaining? I think what you aimed that time before you married him was that you'll be able to cope with him no matter how infidel he is. Anyway, i think you should continue praying to almighty Allah, and i believe allah will put you through. |
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Salam sister, first off congratulations on the pregnancy! My thoughts on your husband.. I think you should sit your husband down and talk about it, be very nice and calm but if he doesn't process this well, than you should start to get a little more serious. Tell him that his actions are hurting your feelings, and you wanna get this straightened out for your child. I wish you luck, and insh'Allah, Allah can give you, your son, and husband, a happy and healthy life. Alhamdulilah! |
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Assalam o Aleikum.. Dear Sister, no doubt tht you must had had prepared yourself for the possible abrupt behaviour of ur husband because he had already been separated twice. But thats another issue. Having an intercouse isn't at all a bad activity if the couple is married legally. As far as his behaviour is concerned, you must sit and talk with him in a polite, humble yet convincing manner. It might b possible tht he is going under a tough time. Above all, read Quran and understand it and pray to Allah with pure heart. InshahAllah, He'll help you very soon. |
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