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AssalaamuAlaikum! I want to ask something. And I think you can answer it best. I'm not heterosexual. I'm what they call "Bisexual". That means, sexually inclined towards both the genders. I know its forbidden in Islam. I've tried all I could to overcome this, but I somehow can't. I was born this way. And I can't help it. I know people say that no one is born this way and its an acquired characteristic. But, maybe you won't believe me, but I have memories that suggest homosexual feelings when I was 2 or 3 years old. If homosexuality is not natural, how's that even possible? And what is my falut if I'm like this? What control does a 3 year old child have on his sexual orientation? No one asked me if I wanted to have feelings towards the people of my own gender. I DIDNOT have a choice. Please tell me what to do. I'll be highly thankful.

asked 1816 ashfakxx's gravatar image
closed Aug 23 '13 at 02:42 sadie ♦ 1.6k313 sadie's gravatar image

The question has been closed for the following reason "Question is off-topic or not relevant" by sadie Aug 23 '13 at 02:42

The best thing to do is read namaaz and seek refuge in allahswt focus on yourself and your religion. What does islam teach. That is shaytaans way of getting to you and poisoning your mind. Be open minded but keep it to yourself. Never share your weaknesses for that is what shaytaan wants. Best thing to do Is be alone for a while and think about what you really want. But if you were to choose someone of the same gender then know you wouldnt be able to reproduce and you wouldnt be classed as a muslim. I do believe some people have genuine feelings for the same sex but that is probably your test in islam. You need to overcome it. It may be hard to block out but in the life after it will all be worth it In'shaa'allah

Sorry if I offended you in any way

Hope this helps

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answered 572 hanat's gravatar image

Then why is it called "in-human"? I fell in love with a guy. And it wasnt just teenage stupidity. It was the strongest feeling ever. And love is supposed to be from Allah, right? And No, you didnot offend me in anyway. JazakAllah! :)

(Feb 26 '13 at 15:00) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image

I don't think it is infact inhuman. Most people find it difficult to understand homosexuality. But what you said about you falling in 'love', maybe this will help:

"Mr. Right won't distract you from your Lord. If he distances you from Allah, he's Mr. Wrong." ~AbdulBary Yahya

"Every love that leads away from His love is infact a punishment; only love that leads to His love is heartfelt and pure" ~Ibn Al-Qayyim

(Aug 13 '13 at 12:28) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

As a matter of fact, I was closer to Allah at that time. The time with him left a permanent positive mark on my faith. Am I to be believe he was Mr right?

(Aug 14 '13 at 16:07) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image

No because Allah SWT, Who created us and knows what's best for us, Who knows what we need and how we function, told us that women are created for men (and vice versa). Homosexuality is haram. Clear is this proof that the 'right' person, a spouse, is from the opp. sex. And Allah SWT knows better than us. He knows best.

(Oct 12 '13 at 04:52) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

I think to attain the wisdom (and thus answers) you are looking for, you should study Islam steadfastly and seek the company of rightoeus scholars who can guide you (i provided links in my answer e.g. http://www.islamicspirituality.org/shaykh-zulfiqar-db and http://www.tasawwuf.org/writings/wisdom_seeker/index.htm). Allah SWT will Insha-a-Allah SURELY guide you when you seek!

(Oct 12 '13 at 04:52) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

Biologically speaking, we are still looking for answers as well. Islamicaly speaking we understand that Allah(SWT) tests people in different ways, some with wealth, some with health, some with disabilities, and some with sexuality, and there are those who are tested in these all. Our job is not to question why me, or why this. We must take it as a test and the harder it is, the better the reward.

As a straight Muslim, it is only natural that I have feelings towards the opposite gender, but the sin is when I act upon this feeling unlawfully (outside of marriage). Homosexuals, and Bisexuals are no different in their feeling, and Allah knows best. It is the action that is a major sin. I hope this provides you some security, Wasalamualykum.

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answered 11115 Khal_7's gravatar image

But I can't marry a guy. Ever. Thankyou, anyway. It helped. JazakAllah! :)

(Feb 26 '13 at 15:03) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image

sorry brother that example is very lame.. as a child at that age experiment with many things like say a child might like to eat grasshoppers but as he grew up he cant stand the sight of them, as a child of that age its impossible for a child to know the feelings one gets from sex as there is no such orgasnim in them at that age. again another reply to your example if a child likes to have sex with a toy or a stuffed toys or other things like that does that mean that child will have a great inclination to that object when he or she gets older?? i dont think so this is just something that we as humans like to explore especially boys and with the help of shayton it tends to become stronger as we get older if we are not strong enough to shake the ugly thoughts off.

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answered 193 jinnbuster's gravatar image

I never said I wanted to have sex with a guy as a child! I said I have memories that suggest homosexual inclinations. Inclination doesNOT mean sex. Not everything is about sex, you know? Thanks for your time anyways. :)

(Aug 11 '13 at 21:48) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image
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You are going to burn in hell if you do any sexual act with another boy. You said you can't control it, but even a hetero can control himself away from doing adultery, but they still like girls. And you, you like boys and girls, you don't have to be dirty and have sex with a dude. Anal sex is forbidden even if your hetero. Ask Allah to remove the devil from you and rescue you from the hellfire. You trying to prove that your born gay, I can't remember I lusted after girls at the age of 2 or 3, even that I remember a lot. Love doesn't mean horny, it's okay that you love a boy, but if he makes you horny then the devil is trying to grill you in hell, you should seek refuge to Allah from the accursed Satan, if it doesn't help you, you should be very worried. But since your Bio, you can marry a girl... THERE ARE MANY ACCOUNTS HERE THAT ARE TRYING TO DISPROVE ISLAM.

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answered 4411138 UnknownUser's gravatar image
edited Aug 09 '13 at 10:18

Its sad you think that way, sir. Its NOT about SEX! I never said I lusted for guys at 3! That time I didn't realize it, but now that I remember it, I find that a straight child cannot have such memories. It does make me horny, but again, you cannot really control feeling aroused, can you? And for the record, I've NEVER gone Anal. I'm not disproving Islam. If you've read the question carefully, I asked what should I do, not, why is it like that. I've prayed, trust me. But clearly it wasn't enough. So, I'd pray more, InShaAllah.

(Aug 11 '13 at 22:06) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image

I don't really expect you to understand. You've never felt this way, so you'd never know. Still, so much for hoping for kind words! Thanks anyways, for your time and consern. :)

(Aug 11 '13 at 22:09) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image
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@ARBER you have no right to say that. shame on you. jerk off.

(Aug 14 '13 at 04:09) a_mohammed a_mohammed's gravatar image

@Ashfakxx, You saying your gay, and now you say it has nothing to do sexually, I though being "GAY" means your sexually attracted to boys, which means a boy can make you horny, and what does that mean, well it means you want to put your organ in his or you want him to put his organ in yours. Go marry a girl, they are much better to take care of a boy and I bet you will leave all feelings for boys away, because girls are lovely in their nature no matter what you like.

@a_mohammed why have I not? Allah makes it clear in the holy Quran, Bible and Torah, so I feel safe saying that. U gojerkoff :)

(Aug 17 '13 at 03:59) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

a_mo, he got ya there. although i've heard some debate as to how clear it is in the koran. you know like most things in the koran it's not very clear. there is a british gay muslim activist that says muslim are taking the story of lut out of context. that they weren't destroyed for being gay, but because they tried to rape angels.

http://www.lovematters.info/pink-imam-it%E2%80%99s-okay-be-muslim-and-gay

(Aug 17 '13 at 10:15) abul rauf abul%20rauf's gravatar image

well then i feel safe telling u that ur a total jackass. sadie u cant say anything about that word cuz its an animal :) mike...how do u rape angels!?

(Aug 20 '13 at 15:35) a_mohammed a_mohammed's gravatar image

I give up. :'(

(Aug 21 '13 at 10:43) sadie ♦ sadie's gravatar image

sadie don't give up. that was funny.

a_mo, i have no idea. i didn't think they would have genitalia or anuses. but you never know? never seen an angel and certainly not under their clothes. do they have belly buttons? eore, eore.

(Aug 21 '13 at 11:24) abul rauf abul%20rauf's gravatar image

how should i know! sorry sadie old habbits die hard, but ive taken ur advice on one thing! ive given up cold turkey on something that was hard :) ur a good influence :)

(Aug 21 '13 at 15:40) a_mohammed a_mohammed's gravatar image

@Arber Look.. I'm not going to even reply to that. And you can think I don't have an answer, for all I care. I refuse to entertain microscopic intellect. Thankyou!

(Aug 22 '13 at 17:04) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image
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brother when you use the term gay or the likes of gay it has got a lot to do with sex, other wise you would have no problem.. but once you say i had inclinations towards boys and you recall it happened from a young age obviously you got attracted meaning you had some sort of arousal, so really trying to sound so sophisticated by saying what you said is not gonna change the fact that your statement about the age you had these feelings is lame... you are not born gay and there is no science to back it up that you are born this way, this is only something that non muslims would like to say so that they accept it, as being gay is a disease of the heart and mind.. better to blame it on creation and not that the person who turns to the gay way of like is weak..

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answered 193 jinnbuster's gravatar image

You will not understand. It's not your fault. You cannot think beyond sex. Thank you for your time anyway!

(Aug 13 '13 at 15:53) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image

@abul rauf The link you provided encourages gay and lesbian people to fight for their 'rights'! You must know that homosexuality is forbidden in islam.

@ashfakxx See: http://www.islamhelpline.net/node/3793

Personally I don't think homosexuality is entirely acquired. I think it is a trial from Allah SWT, who puts much worse trials on people to test them. But Allah never burdens a soul with more than it can bear. If you were given this trial, you can fight it and if Allah tells you that He made women for you, then surely you will be able to feel for women (or rather one woman =P). And Allah is true to His word, His promises . Only Allah can help you and make you content and at peace. I answered about this here (please read the whole thing): http://www.islam.com/questions/18712/gay-addiction-please-help-me-i-do-not-want-to-date-guys-anymore-i-love-my-allah/18739

My prayers are with you!

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answered 4411138 UnknownUser's gravatar image
edited Aug 13 '13 at 12:32
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Thankyou! Please pray. I really need them.

(Aug 13 '13 at 15:57) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image

My prayers are certainly with you! ^-^ You don't know the mercy and help of Allah SWT that is showered when a servant of Allah decides to leave sins and strive for the straight path. SubhanAllah! I hope I helped you. Do remember me in your prayers

(Oct 12 '13 at 04:39) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

Salamun alaikum my dear brothers. If I get you well,you said "....I was born this way.." you mean that you was born with the desire for homosexual,if that is right so you are not the one that put the blame on-is Allah who created you.But I have a strong faith that Allah never ever cheat his creators. You said "if homosexual is not natural how's that even possible?" the answer is

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answered 4411138 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Apparently, the ANSWER got lost in the wisdom!

(Aug 14 '13 at 16:05) ashfakxx ashfakxx's gravatar image

to the person who wrote this. i do think people have a choice. when i was in 7th grade i thought i liked girl and guys, i wasnt attracted to girls but when i closed my eyes at night i thought i was. so heres all can tell you. it passed. i used to think guys didnt like me and thats usually a cause for people to be bi. well i grew up and guys like me :P so i got over it i dont think i like girls anymore and i like guys :P i knwo this isnt a serious answer but its the truth. anyways i think u like the same sex cuz ur not confident with the other sex thats my opinion and i also think bi's can control it also. but i dont need to tell u that u will burn in hell.

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answered 162218 a_mohammed's gravatar image
edited Aug 17 '13 at 11:55 sadie ♦ 1.6k313 sadie's gravatar image

i think she is refering back to a past comment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

(Aug 19 '13 at 10:33) abul rauf abul%20rauf's gravatar image

cuz i said a bad word i guess

(Aug 21 '13 at 15:39) a_mohammed a_mohammed's gravatar image

i thought she might be going all the way back to the music thread on the community page. guess not. but yeah, she'll do that. she deleted my "crap was it shit?"

now google bot thinks i'm gay. the ad for a dating site that is on this page has a bunch of dudes pictures. what happened to the hot chinese girls?

(Aug 21 '13 at 16:16) abul rauf abul%20rauf's gravatar image

what is that google bot thingy btw!

(Aug 22 '13 at 04:52) a_mohammed a_mohammed's gravatar image

i think it is what determines what ads to put up. if you go to the community page and look at who is online it is usually listed.

now it knows i'm fat somehow. i got an ad for a $1249 stomach liposucion in orlando this time. the jesus saves one makes me laugh went it comes up. odd one for an islamic site, don't ya think?

(Aug 22 '13 at 10:24) abul rauf abul%20rauf's gravatar image

hehehe i get a bunch of marriage and dating websites :p

(Aug 22 '13 at 11:26) a_mohammed a_mohammed's gravatar image
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Asked: Feb 25 '13 at 17:26

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