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I recently started to date a girl. Is this permissionable to date without leading to sinful acts

asked 816 yusuf56789's gravatar image

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Dear brother,short answer is no..she is Non Mahram to u unless and until u do Nikkah with her. Also,“Don’t stay in a haram relationship with the intention of making it halal someday. Who promised you tomorrow?!”

answered 1.2k518 Ubi's gravatar image

Thorough and informative.

(Mar 10 '13 at 18:52) UnknownMuslimTeen UnknownMuslimTeen's gravatar image

The short answer is No.

Why are you dating this girl if you believe in won't lead to sinful acts? Ask yourself, what is the reason you have decided to form this lose sanction of boy and girlfriend, what do you want to get out of it?

No man wakes up saying hes gonna commit adultery out of the blue, shaytan (satin) works it into a very logically seeming process. He will start by making you feel, "Its just a boy and girl who want the best for each other, whats bad about that"? Then overtime you will start feeling "It would only be fair if I showed her I love her by showing affection, and that leads to the next, and in the end you have diluted the truth and have fallen into a great sin. For this reason we aren't taught to simply not commit adultery in Islam, we are told to avoid getting near it.

I hope you end this relationship, and if you truly mean it then do it in the halal way, and get married. I hope this help you brother, as I have had many friends who fell into this seemingly harmless trap. May Allah give us all strength, Salamuwalaykum.

answered 11115 Khal_7's gravatar image

Dating is the same as opening the doors to unlawful acts. If you are sincere, you must get her Wali involved. Allah says "Do not go near zina.."

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whenever a non-mahram man and woman meet in seclusion, Shaytaan definitely is the third one joining them.” [Tirmidhi]

answered 334 Jibrail's gravatar image

salamun alaikun. there is courtship in islam i.e getting 2 knw d 1 whom u wnt 2 marry but there r procedures 2 tke whn ur interested in a girl. u 1st go n c her father or guidian.u dnt go 2 hr directly n tlk 2 hr abou ur feelings.if hr father confirms 2 u no one hs evr askd hr out n gvs u d go ahead 2 tlk 2 hr den u cn court wit her bu in her house which she wil always com along wit a younger one related 2 her n d child wil watch wat ever happns btw u both. but islam does nt 4bid courtship provided d father or guidian is aware. ma'assalaam

answered 20110 Nana%20Binta%20Zahra's gravatar image

I agree with the above posters. I know how you feel and it's difficult to deal with, but islam gives you the option of forming a halal relationship. If you can't do that at this point, then the commendable thing would be to walk away. This is jihad and Allah swt knows it's hard on you so do try your best. We are not perfect, nor can we ever be, but who can stop us from striving?

answered 2512 HumorMe's gravatar image

I don't understand this. When we fall in love with someone, we should marry that person right away? Personally, if I fell in love with someone, I'd want to spend some time with that person to get to know her better. I wouldn't just get married right away.

answered 13113 EnesNadir's gravatar image

it would be a sin to marry someone without getting to know them first.

(Mar 04 '13 at 22:58) pargali pargali's gravatar image

The question is how long do you need? The only thing required is that you get the wali involved and not Spend timer With him/her in seclusion

(Mar 09 '13 at 12:05) Jibrail Jibrail's gravatar image

Enes, why are u getting angry? There are rules of engagement regarding marriage and dealing with people that are not your mehram. So instead of getting angry and wasting yr time on a website where the only input u get is from regular ppl like us, why dont u open the quran and study the hadith to get the information yr seeking. Prophet Muhammed (saw) is a perfect example for us to follow-why dont you see how he dealt with the women who became ummul-momineen?

answered 2512 HumorMe's gravatar image

I'm not getting angry, I'm just trying to comprehend. If you would be so kind as to direct me to the right verses, I'll see it for myself if it's really sinful to try to know your spouse a little better before getting married.

(Mar 05 '13 at 07:47) EnesNadir EnesNadir's gravatar image

thank u binta dat is islam,

answered 355 salihu's gravatar image

you can vote up her comment, for the appreciation :)

(Mar 05 '13 at 09:12) believer ♦ believer's gravatar image

@enes, no one said u shouldn't get to to know your potential spouse. Even prophet Mohammed (saw) got to know his wives before marrying them. He knew um-Khadija for a while, as he used to work for her. There are rules of engagement and the whole point of them is to protect both parties from any wrong that can ensue from interaction. Search the web. You'll find plethora of information. Islam does not wish to make your life hard but rather simple, and the reasons behind what's forbidden and allowed reflects Allah (swt)'s Hikmet and wisdom. And thats what we have to strive to understand. I agree with Binta's answer-thats how you do it.

answered 2512 HumorMe's gravatar image

Please don't quote the life of Holy Prophet (S.A.W) if you have not read it. Hazrat Khadijah (R.A) heard about the honesty of Holy Prophet (S.A.W) and sent him (S.A.W) the proposal for marriage. Not dating nor they (May Allah Peace be upon them Both) spent hours chatting with each other to get to know each other like the generation is doing now.

(Mar 05 '13 at 11:50) believer ♦ believer's gravatar image

@believer, yr kind of stupid for misinterpreting what i said. Obviously she got to know about his honesty from him having worked for her--her business prospered so much when he was working for her, and she got to kniw about his character from people around her as well. She then sent him a proposal through someone. I know the story too. Dont try to misquote or imply smthng out of the context of my previous message. I NEVER, astaghfirullah, said anything about the prophet (saw) dating!! Moron!

answered 2512 HumorMe's gravatar image

What does this means you fool

"Even prophet Mohammed (saw) got to know his wives before marrying them. He knew um-Khadija for a while, as he used to work for her."

Look what is the topic he is asking for dating in Islam and you are quoting life of holy prophet (S.A.W) to support it. Hazrat Khadijah (R.A) heard about his (S.A.W) honesty and sent proposal they never set in meetings to know each other which was the posted question. And of course while working people hear and know each other, like cousins and neighbors know each other indirectly, not girls/boys dating to get to know each other.

(Mar 09 '13 at 13:06) believer ♦ believer's gravatar image
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Asked: Mar 01 '13 at 18:38

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Last updated: Mar 10 '13 at 18:52

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