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I have been married for almost four years and never received my mahr. I had asked for a plot of land and my husband gave me the money for the land but I didn't take it and told him to take the money and buy the plot of land (I didn't request money). My Wali was mistaken about the price of the land and it was actually more expensive than what my husband was initially told. So after a couple of years of marriage and there was no progress in me receiving my mahr, I no longer wanted it and asked for something less expensive. Now our financial situation is such that my husband can't afford to buy even this gift. I don't know what to do. I am upset because my husband has done other things financially for people that were expensive (he could afford it then). I believe I asked for a reasonably priced gift (the land in my husband's country is well below what he would pay in the U.S.)and even changed that. In all this, I am wondering if my marriage even valid.

asked 101 mpho's gravatar image

Mahr can be as little as teaching the Quran (thats not little, but you know what i mean). In other words, if one is unable to give a tangible thing, then the husband can go ahead and teach the Quran instead.

I believe the Mahr is very very important part of the marriage. I think its best you speak to a Skaykh, because i would say yes, its highly probable that your marriage is not valid. If it is not for sure, then dont worry too much, you had no bad intentions and you can repent for this mistake. However, it is now your responsibility to follow it up and make sure your marriage is valid. You can always renew your marriage contract (Nikah).

However, because your husband gave you money and you asked him to use it, this could be regarded as your Mahr. As long as you accept it in this way. Its still best to follow up on it, khayr inshaAllah.

May Allah make us among the pious inshaAllah.

answered 334 Jibrail's gravatar image
edited Mar 02 '13 at 18:55

"And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease."Nisa:4

"And [also prohibited to you are all] married women except those your right hands possess. [This is] the decree of Allah upon you. And lawful to you are [all others] beyond these, [provided] that you seek them [in marriage] with [gifts from] your property, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse. So for whatever you enjoy [of marriage] from them, give them their due compensation as an obligation. And there is no blame upon you for what you mutually agree to beyond the obligation. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise."Nisa:24

mutual agreement is the key here. you didnt decline your mehr. you asked for it, but he gave you something else instead, which you didnt accept. than you declined it with good heart, thinking that he couldnt afford it. he misinformed you about the values. this is enough to make the mehr and the later-agreed things to be incomplete. this makes your marriage incomplete if you have agreed upon a mehr-marriage.

answered 614 pargali's gravatar image
edited Mar 04 '13 at 23:42
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Asked: Mar 02 '13 at 13:40

Seen: 1,789 times

Last updated: Mar 04 '13 at 23:42

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