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hi all, here is the story from A to Z please i am asking for advice so don't be judgmental. i am a young muslim women who moved to new york from an arabic country since more than 2years now. i started school and everything seemed to be good i want to be a lawyer but you know how life is hard in new york i've been struggling to find a job my sister got married to a muslim arabic guy who kicked me out of the apartment knowing that i have no place to go and no money since i wasn't working. i've struggled a lot to make a living my mom want to help me but because of the stupid regulation of foreign money in my country she can't send me any money. i've been through a lot in new york i moved before the age of 20. i'm sorry to say that but i've been betrayed by muslims whenever i go to an interview to tutor arabic or french for someone or work with someone in his office i get other response such as hanging out or having sex with me i was chocked i couldnt believe plus the families that i worked for especially muslims some of them didnt pay me and i got into problems and arguing with them that lead to a point that i hated all muslims i was asking myself how a human being can do such horrible thing to someone and claimed that she/he is a good muslim. anyways days went by i started to be broke and depressed and start to think about going back to my country but what would i do there, how can i make a living and why god had put through all of this. i met a very sweet nice guy older than me. we started to go out together and suddenly felt in love with each other. for the first time i felt that someone loves me for who i am and didn't only see the pretty face or the perfect skin that i have. the problem is that he is not a muslim, but he has a great connection with god. i found everything that i always wanted in him and suddenly everything start to be good in my life. i never felt so confident and so beautiful before meeting him. he is very opening minded cultivated, smart, mature, and handsome. we are madly in love with each other, months went by with had sex many time. i know it is a sin, but please don't say anything that would break more than i am right now. i start to feel like i am a zania. i see only dark and i am going through a depression sometimes i just dont want to get out of bed. when i speak to him about islam he says that he doesn't want a religion that would break the great connection that he has with god. i hate him when he says that, and i feel that if i leave him because of that it is so unfair to both of us. he haven't done anything bad to me he treats me well/ i feel like a human being next to him not like a pretty doll that every single man want to have fun with. i want some advices to convince to convert to islam. any books or sitewebs that might be helpful i would appreciate it. also i want some suggestion about my situation what should i do and how i can ask god for forgiveness. thank you!

asked 102 lost%20in%20love's gravatar image

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ok guys i really appreciate your help but all of you seemed to not answer my main question. i left this guy broken hearted and my heart is broken too. i don't think that it is fair for both of us. my question is any suggestions for books or website that i can show them to him in order to help him convert to islam and thank you!

answered 102 lost%20in%20love's gravatar image


I have already given you answer, be a true Muslimah yourself so that he will convert, show him how beautiful is your religion and how positive change it makes in the life of a Muslim. But the problem here is you have already done sex with him before marriage so tell me are you any good example for him? You call yourself a Muslim and you don't follow the religion yourself. And why he will even marry you because the purpose for which marriage is created (sex - children), he has already done with you many times.

I would advice you to become a true Muslimah yourself and be afraid for your own self you have committed a grave sin. You are thinking about him to revert to Islam, but before that think for yourself and search for the punishment for zina (illegal sexual intercourse) before marriage in Islam. 100 lashes is your punishment for one time committed zina, and you knows how many times you have done it.

I know you suffered a lot but I tell you one thing if your sister's husband had thrown you out of house you could have gone to a Mosque for shelter or went to any NGO or at least refused to have sex with that man, because he can be a no good person who has taken the only thing which he could get from a homeless girl. You could have went back to your country but never offered your purity. A true believer is the one who holds his deen in his hard times.

answered 1.2k16 believer's gravatar image
edited Mar 09 '13 at 12:55

let me correct you here i wasn't a homeless. i stood up for myself and worked hard to get somewhere to live. i sorry to say that but no one in the mosque or anywhere wanted to help me whatsoever whenever i went i was rejected. i didn't have sex with him because i had nowhere to go. i met him after i fixed my situation. i was alone i needed it a mental support. i was rejected by fucking muslims they treated me like shit in the mosque in ramadan people told me you are cute use that for your own benefits what is that mean?? in your opinion. Muslim man offered me help in return of something else. i decided to have sex with him because i love him, he is a good guy better than muslims. i do regret doing that but i hate so much hate for muslims because of what i went through that i don't look at them the same as i was in my country and i promise myself that i would never marry any fucking arabic muslim guy. they are sick they see a girl automatically it is an option for them to take advantage of her. i learned a lot with him especially in carrier wise i get back to track and he is encouraging and motivating he never made feel that because i am a women i don't need to have bigger dreams as muslim guys told me before. one imam in the mosque told me once you are a pretty girl smart and caring get married to any of the guys in the mosque and be his while he is providing you shelter and money i told him what does that differ from prostitution nothing just that i will have sex with one man who is my husband. so don't judge me of having this hate inside of me. i was going back to my country but i got accepted in the school that i wanted to attend so i stayed and i managed to make a living in new york.

answered 102 lost%20in%20love's gravatar image

Every Muslim is not the same. And regarding you saying that an Imam advised you to get married and be his while he is providing you shelter and money you said to him what does that differ from prostitution? If you can not differ between marriage and prostitution then tell me what you call yourself, having sex with a man without marriage? Its worst then prostitution, maybe a girl is doing prostitution to feed his family but what was your reason? That is why Islam told Muslim men to lower gaze and Muslim Woman to cover themselves.

(Mar 09 '13 at 16:52) believer ♦ believer's gravatar image

being a muslim doesn't differ from being a jewish or christian. a christian friend helped me to fix my situation and find a place to live, a jewish family that i was teaching their daughter french helped me to get books for school and financial aid. muslims in the other hand told me are you crazy you are going to school and you don't have a stable job yet. i just wanted someone to borrow me money for 10days to buy books and pay the rent no fucking muslim bother to help. my mom and brother were doing the impossible to send me money but because of the fucking foreign money restriction that we have in my country they couldn't send it because i am an immigrant with a green card not a student visa. i'm proud of myself of what i have done so far i made my way of becoming someone in America without anyone's help. when i look back i say waaaw i've been through all of this and i made it thanks god hamdoulah.

answered 102 lost%20in%20love's gravatar image

I know you suffered a lot, but what you did was also not right. Tell me can you tell your mom and brother back home, that you had sex with a man without marriage? Will they be proud of you? Your family is Alhamdulillah Muslim you have broke their faith in you. If you can not confess this act in front of your mom, I am afraid what will be your position in front of Allah (S.W.T).

Regarding your question for your lover to embrace Islam. My answer is same be true Muslimah yourself so that he will not hesitate to embrace Islam.

(Mar 09 '13 at 16:56) believer ♦ believer's gravatar image
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Asked: Mar 06 '13 at 21:15

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Last updated: Jun 06 '13 at 13:23

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