Please advise me what to do with my unfair mother. It really hurts when im being treated differently compared to my siblings. Was it because she didnt raise me up? It was partly her fault coz she took me to my aunt when i was still an infant coz she has to go back abroad to be with my father. So ofcourse, i grew up loving my aunt. 6 years later, we were reunited for the first time with my parents and siblings. But instead of make things up with me, she treated me like i wasnt hers. She'd buy things for my sister and none for me. And when she does, it was always the cheapest one. She only finds me useful when she needs something done and when theres no one available to accompany her. She buys cool things for my sister & ignore my pleas. After my aunt's death, i was devastated. I have no one to run to. And so i lived like cinderella, she would let me handle all the household chores while my siblings do nothing. Alhamdulillah i got married and thats the only time i found comfort once again. But that didnt stop my mom's unjust actions. It pains me to see that she adores my siblings' kids and scolds mine. She even likes my siblings wives instead of me (as i've observed on countless times). Shes nice to me when people are around us, but when alone, she usually complains about everything about me. She makes me pay for things ive borrowed from my siblings although i have the lowest income of them all. I really wish to live separately away from her but i cant make ends meet. My husband barely sustains our necessities. So sadly, we live with her. Im not a perfect muslim, but im trying my best to be one. And i know that in islam, our paradise lies within our mother's feet. But how can i like her if shes like a tyrant to me. No considerations, no compliments, no satisfaction, etc. Shes a good muslim, reads the quran, attends islamic seminars. Yet it doesnt change the way she treats me. I was badly hurt as a child, and im still hurt as an adult. I really dont know what to do. May Allah guide me.

asked 101 TBG's gravatar image

sister she is your mom. I know mom sometimes(in your case everytime) do such unjust and unfair things..discriminating between the kids..and this action is disliked by all even me..actually she has been staying far away from u since years and I guess thats the reason she mustnt be liking u..try to be nice to her..as lovable and caring as you can be..I am sure she would think in her heart that she troubles you so much and still you are being so nice caring to her u would ultimately see the changes in your mom..make her some tea in the evening..do her a head and leg massage at night..kiss her on forehead in the morning when she wakes up..hug her, comb her hair and etc. I know this things cant be easy for you as you have a bit hatred towards your mom as she has been mean to u..but why not try doing all this pleasurable things to her? what if all this things changes her? so do not give up..and when she'll start caring for you unconditionally she will start caring for your kids too.. I am sure in sha ALLAH you would see the changes in her soon :)

verily with hardship comes ease :)

vote up or award points if you are satisfied by my answer..u can even leave me a feedback :)

link
answered 1.0k1415 aaliya's gravatar image
Your answer
toggle preview

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text](http://url.com/ "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Tags:

×17

Asked: Mar 16 '13 at 08:51

Seen: 1,670 times

Last updated: Mar 16 '13 at 09:13


©1998-2013 Islam.com Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.