Now updated: Ramadan calendar -

As salAam aleiykum brothers and sisters. My husband chats with a women,and with young girls on facebook, . He said man can talk to women,and I know women not allowed to talk to men. He said he is teaching the women islam. He has a intention for having a second wife, don't you think he is looking for second wife? Once hE told me that a girl wants him to coMe to her country, and he asked me to come with him. My mom in law against his decision 4having a second wife, because he can barely taking care of me. We been married for 2 years, no kids yet. We didn't have a kids yet cause he said he is not ready until he has a money. Even if we together to store or cleaners he talks with females in front of me,he is afican american and I am asian we both born muslim. It's not clear to me why he likes to talk to females? We don't have a wedding ring, cause we can't afford it now. I felt ignored and jealous when he talks to females. He said prophet Mohammad s.a.w talked to females to teach the islam, but this not a muslim country, where we live. Am I jealous or what?

asked 1616 islamispure's gravatar image

You deserve a answer and IBM you have no right to say that.

It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. Women are not to be condemned for this jealousy, for it existed in the  best of righteous women, the Sahaabiyyaat, and even in the Mothers of the Believers [the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)]. But women should not let jealousy make them object to that which Allaah has prescribed, and they should not try to prevent it; a wife should allow her husband to marry another woman for this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety.

If a man is able to marry a second wife, physically and financially, and he can treat both wives in a just manner, and he wants to take a second wife, then he is allowed to do so according to Islam ( but you said he is not financially fit so he is not allowed if he cannot support you)

There can be no doubt that the fitnah (temptation) of women is great. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “I have not left behind me any fitnah that is more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4808; Muslim, 2704. Hence the Muslim has to be cautious of this fitnah and keep away from anything that may cause him to fall prey to it. Some of the greatest causes of this fitnah are looking at women and mixing with them. 

In regards to him talking to women on Facebook and teaching them

It is better and safer for these women to look for a woman who can teach them Qur’aan memorization, whether in the home or in the mosque, because that is further removed from fitnah (temptation) and its causes. If that is not possible, but these woman can memorize Qur’aan using tapes or a computer and then check on one another, that is good, and it is better than sitting with a man in order to memorize

Sharee’ah blocks all the ways that may lead to fitnah (temptation, trial), hence it forbids softness of speech and does not allow a man to be alone with a non-mahram woman. Undoubtedly these private chats are not regarded as khulwah in the sense that he people involved cannot see one another, but they are one of the greatest causes of fitnah as is well known

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, if this correspondence is free from immorality and love? 

He replied: 

It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. A person may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who heard of the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and said that a man may approach him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying until he leads him astray. 

The condition for him to talk to women for marriage are these.if not fulfilled then it is prohibited for him to talk to the or get to know them.

1-     That it is not possible to speak to her through one of her mahrams or through a woman who is his mahram.( if he wants to marry they he should ask her guardian for her hand. He must get to know her only by the permission of the wali)

2-     That should be done without being alone with her (khulwah).

3-     That should not go beyond permissible topics.

4-     There should be no fitnah (temptation). If his desire is stirred by talking to her or if he starts to enjoy it, then it is haraam.

5-     The woman should not speak in a soft manner,

6-     The woman should be wearing full hijaab and be modest, or he should speak to her from behind a door. It is better if they speak on the phone, and even better if they communicate via letters or e-mail, for example.

7-     That should not go beyond what is necessary. 

". . . And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts . . ." [al-Ahzaab 33:53] ". . . then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner." [al-Ahzaab 33:32]

A woman’s being patient in obeying her husband is one of the means of entering Paradise, as it says in the hadeeth narrated by Ibn Hibbaan: “If a woman offers her five daily prayers and fasts her month (i.e., Ramadaan) and guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 660. 

So if your husband has fulfilled these conditions then he may marry a second wife. But he should stop chatting with girls on Facebook.If he is serious in marrying a second wife then he has to go through the wali. And it is your right to inform him of this danger.

Abu Sa`eed Al-Khudri  reported: The Messenger of Allaah  said, "Whoever amongst you sees an evil, he must change it with his hand; if he is unable to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is yet unable to do so, then with his heart; and that is the weakest form of Faith". [Muslim]

answered 73210 Light's gravatar image
edited Apr 01 '13 at 23:08

you are right

answered 728 ibm's gravatar image
edited Apr 06 '13 at 07:02

The answer has been deselected right as it has negative votes.. @ibm : are you feeling insulted?? If yes, sorry for that. What do you want to be done now... close/delete or something other to this question....??

(Apr 06 '13 at 05:34) Irfan Alam ♦ Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

now its ok brother. she ask a question about her family. after she got answer immediately turn to another question (matter is same) i thought it is blaming islam. check the line.she didn't insult me she is good accepting mistake. its ok thank you brother. may allah solve her and our problems ameen.

(Apr 06 '13 at 06:29) ibm ibm's gravatar image


(Apr 06 '13 at 06:34) Irfan Alam ♦ Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

sister u deserve an answer in islam a married man can talk to a woman infact social life not even islamic issues cos he is entittle for four married women. It's therfore ur responsibilities as a wife to keep ur husband for urself & u alone by ur attitudes, good words, cleanliness, obidient, good cook & many more. About wedding ring this is not islam

answered 355 salihu's gravatar image

"Ibm" you are right I don't deserve answer, please forgive me.... For the sake of Allah.I am lost in wilderness. Thank you for opening my eyes.

(Apr 01 '13 at 00:12) islamispure islamispure's gravatar image

Your first sentence does not make sense. Could you please reword that. Jazak Allah

(Apr 05 '13 at 21:36) Bubbles123 Bubbles123's gravatar image
Your answer
toggle preview

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text]( "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported



Asked: Mar 31 '13 at 18:15

Seen: 5,911 times

Last updated: Apr 06 '13 at 07:02

©1998-2013 Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.