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Assalamu alaikum,

This feeling of being lonely and all those memories is tearing me apart. I feel like i have got nothing to loose and just want to die. If it is not for Allah and my Family i would have been already dead. I loved her like she is the whole world to me and expected just a half of it from her.. I always wanted to marry her and become father of her children. We even had names for our unborn baby girl. We often go to the seashore and hold each others hands where she will say that her love for me is greater that these oceans altogether and i reply back that my love for her is greater that the skies.. These are some among the tons of memories i still have about her.. Its not going anywhere.

Whenever someone advice me to forget her it feels good for couple of days and again i am getting so depressed and lonely.

I always said to lot of my friends who take girls for granted and just dump them after having fun with them. .to not to do that and its wrong. I always advice them to have a good.. true.. honest relationship with them.. but they often laugh at me and mock me..

Now i am feeling like i wish i were one of those guyz who had just fun and no emotional feelings for the girl. I am severely depressed and just dont know what to do..

She dumped me 6 months ago saying that she is in love with her colleague..

At the early stages of our love i met her mum and asked for her and she agreed that she will get her married to me in 2 years..

Now she completely forgot everything and saying that whom her daughter is loving right now is much better than me and i am not fit for her daughter..

Now they are going to get married sooner.

I was completely shattered and still now cant believe that she did that to me.. All i am seeking is death or Allah to guide me and bless me with his mercy and give me better peace of mind. I still love her so much and i just cant forget her. Her memories, all those words,,.. she atleast say 100 "I love you" per day and now she might be saying it to him.. i just cant bear or imagine someother guy with her. We have spoken like what real husband and wife do and i always thought she will only be mine. I am from south India and always thought this is a place well known for its culture and moral values... but nowadays its not like that i believe.

please help me with getting through this i cant cope up anymore.. i dont know how long it will take and i am already 25.

asked 2015 muslimboy's gravatar image

Asalamu alaikum brother, coming from someone who has been thru depression, wiou have to be able to stop allowing yourself to consider suicide as an option, because it is not, ever. But I agree with the comments about getting married this is one of the problems that comes from dating getting married insha Allah will help u heal.

(Dec 04 '13 at 19:33) dacasad dacasad's gravatar image

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am confused here are seeking for death or Allah's mercy, am suprised why will men tortured themselves to depression bcos they have loose their love. A true muslim is one who beleives in destiny happy or sadness are from Allah to test our faith. Is not everything u like most wil be forever. so life goes on if I were u

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answered 355 salihu's gravatar image

The situation is a sticky one. The advise that I can give from the heart is that nothing is going to happen to you but by Allah's leave. So while we always look at the down side of things, try not to. As for how to get over her that's something I;m not sure how to answer, because everybody deals with they grief in their own way. What you should do is try to find something that brings you joy and use it to help you. I hope that you can over come what your going through, but everything that happens is by the leave of Allah. What we love may be no good for us, and that's something that's hard to accept, but that's the truth.

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answered 533 Muttawakkil's gravatar image

Assalamu alaikum,

In sha Allah, i guess thats the only way i can make myself feel better. Jazakallahu khairan brother

(Apr 05 '13 at 10:25) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image

Assalam Alaikum, dear depressed brother, Now, I understand the position you are in. I do not want to blame you for choosing a wrong girl. I loved a girl once, and she left me. Then I said to myself "So? I lost my lover, not my Creator, and not my parents. I want you to remember something after 5 years, Inshaallah when you are married and have children "Do I remember that time 5 years ago when I was extremely upset? Does it really matter now?" Think about it, you lost a lover/girl, not your God, nor your parents, Thank God. Just think about it, and forget about your old lover, who is enjoying her life with her lover. I wonder if she even apologised to you after she left you.

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answered 14316 UnknownMuslimTeen's gravatar image

Walaikum salam brother,

I am trying to brother.. but something around me always reminds me about her. Really.. r u saying that it will go away after a marriage? I am kind of feeling my life is over. i know its stupid but in my position thats the only thing i can see for myself. How did you manage to get over your loss brother?

(Apr 05 '13 at 10:22) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image

Salam alaykum Brother. I understand your heart ache believe me I do! I am going to say to you what needs to be said . Allah subhana WA ta'ala knows best. And this girl isn't for you. Someone else will be your everything In sha Allah . And when the one Allah subhana WA ta'ala wants you to be with, will make your love for this girl be nothing compared to the love you'll have for this woman In sha Allah. I hope your understanding what I am saying. And this time do not play around . Do what Islam the Qur'an and sunnah say for you too when seeking marriage. In sha Allah this way you won't get hurt. There are reasons why there is NO dating in Islam. Good luck brother and keep your head up! Allah subhana WA ta'ala knows best!

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answered 1.6k313 sadie's gravatar image

Wa alaikum salam,

In Sha Allah, Jazakallahu khairan brother.

(Apr 05 '13 at 10:26) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image

Salaam. I know how you feel! I know how hard it is and no matter what we say the pain is still going to be there. The guy i loved sooo much left me. I no longer trust any man and dont think i will ever be able to get married. I dont know how people can just leave someone when that person loves them so much!! But this isnt in Islam and thats why this happens! And everything happens for the best even though its soo hard to think that. Trust Allah and everything will get better. Im pretty much over the guy i loved and its only been a couple of months. I pray tahajud and my 5 daily prayer and trust me i feel so close to Allah and hardly think of that guy bcoz he is not worth it! He left me and i have faith in Allah, i dont need him. My advice would be that you just become close to Allah and you will see how life will get better! Tc

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answered 655 Bubbles123's gravatar image

Wa Alaikum Salam, Jazakallahu khairan Bubbles123.. I dont know how you recovered so soon.. its been almost 8 months for me but still couldnt. There are still true and honest people like you out there but i am just unlucky i guess. Anyways i will In Sha Allah keep your advice in my mind and work towards Allah SWT.

(Apr 06 '13 at 02:28) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image

Assalamo allaicom sister and brother. May Allah forgive us and accept our dua’s. Thank you for these articles posted. I can relate my dilemma now days. Mine is almost been there. The wedding proposal was set, then suddenly burn up without any valid reason. Im just stand out holding the thoughts of maybe I love him but not well for me, nor everything happen has a reason, or God plan it for me but still all of these not enough for me to accept, Despite of I work hard for it, and pray for it, still why I dint get what I want. I am very upset and mad with all my parents’ relatives, with him and his family relatives I feel that all of them ruin me to my wedding dreams now it’s gone. Now, for all disappointments I been through I’m searching myself with God, I am quite calm sometimes asking him, talking with him, because the big QUISTION MARK occupied in my mind, I am still looking forward the sooner I see myself holding Allah back, live my life with peace of mind, to trust him. I guess the big reason why these happening to me is to be live with Allah.

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answered 916 jahara's gravatar image

Sister have you read FAQ at the top right corner in your screen?. If not its ok sister I advice you do. So you understand what this site is and what is to be expected\ required when posting answers it needs to be to the question , and when you want comment use comments box. If you have any questions you ask me I will help u. Take care sis salaam alaykum :)

(Apr 06 '13 at 02:29) sadie ♦ sadie's gravatar image

assalam aleikum mere bhai kaise ho aap shayad theek ho inshallah jaisa aapka dukh ko padha my ne socha kuch tho kehna zaroor hi kyuinki my bhi ek luthera hu joh luth gaya jab my engg me tha tab aaye woh kehlaye ki wo meri jannat ho doob gaya tha my bhul gaya tha duniya ko surprise kartha hamesha sirf ek jhalk ki khushi dekhna chahta tha khud ki padai chod k support kiya usko Sr. tha uska my job me chalegaya to woh akeli hojaingi samajh k chod diya mere offers ko business ko chunliya mein usko available me rehne k liye jaisa uska engg khatm hua waisa he badalte gaye woh thak gaya tha mein woh bolne lage aap chahe to my chahungi aap chod denge bole tho chod denge bolke samjha ta tha my dusron ko being a muslim how to love how to behave many things I did finally aaj woh ek software engineer hi n my ek Islamic business man hun my nahe samajh tha ki hum breakup hue bolke its broken by Allah only because of our mismatch Irma he samjha mein so aap bhulo mat usko Allah khud bhula dege kyonki my nahi Volta ki

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answered 10 thanveer's gravatar image

I am sorry brother for the late reply, i was so much busy with the new projects. Today i got sudden panic attack and started googling about hardships and my own post came second.. lol. Anyways brother i happy that you answered May Allah Reward you but i dont know urudu or hindi brother. I am sorry.. I ll try to translate myself. Jazakallahu khairan

(Nov 23 '13 at 04:01) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image

Assalaam Alaiykum. You are feeling alot of pain at present because you gave your heart away but her feelings were somewhat different for you. Her heart is intact and she is getting on with her life. She must have known of her doubts but never let them be known, did a great job of concealing them. So this break up was of no surprise for her (she had time to think about things well before things happened). You, on the other hand were caught by surprise....it was like a bombshell dropped unexpectedly. Please understand that in most break ups (relationships or marriages), the partner that instigates the break up, tends to have a much easier time of dealing with it emotionally. The partner who is unaware or unexpecting has a much more difficult time. That's no surprise as there was no time to mentally or emotionally prepare for what was coming! But you have to believe that this girl did you a favour. Better to find out now than much later down the track when you are planning, expecting great things and then....wham! She may have let go of someone who is good for her and she might realise this one day. But you shouldn't worry yourself about her as she really is not worthy of you. The point is, Allah SWT is looking after you and there is a girl who will be much better for you, although you don't want to hear this now. Ther is not just one person for everyone.....there are many choices. Can you imagine how you will feel when you have met the girl who is right for you? Meanwhile, busy yourself with family, friends and your deen. Ask AllahSWT to help you let go of this girl and focus on being happy. Never, ever, think that any one person is worth being suicidal about....take charge of your feelings and don' t allow shaitan to play with them. Pray, do duaas and always have trust in Allah SWT. Good things always come to those who have patience.

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answered 5205 stronghold's gravatar image

Jazakallahu khairan brother.

(Nov 23 '13 at 04:02) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image

Salaam Alaiykum brother. You know that Allah subhana Wa ta'ala is the Most Merciful, Most Kind. Inshaállah, you will begin to feel better but it takes TIME. Time heals. Time is from Allah subhana Wa ta'ala and so is the virtue of Patience. Be patient, brother. Your heart will lift and you will be smiling once again. Remember what Allah subhana Wa ta'ala tells us: "Verily, with hardship there is relief" (Qur'an 94:6)Jazakallahu khairan

(Nov 23 '13 at 06:04) stronghold ♦ stronghold's gravatar image

Assalaam Alaiykum. Allah knows what tomorrow brings He is the All knower of every intensions in us all and I think He has put a test to strengthen your heart. You sound like you have great truth in your heart. Allah does not give the truth out so easily ,especially when the one you thought deserves your true self and when someone is in a confused state of mind.im not saying it was you, it was she who was confused. That's why she would say all those good things to you so you forget your love for Allah and yourself. Words that are uttered without truth are satan influence, don't listen and do your Dua's. That's how you will get your strength back its the only truth and its Allahs love to us. Allah will show you the one, with great patience.

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answered 4411139 UnknownUser's gravatar image

May Allah accepts your dua Akhi.. Jazakallahu khairan

(Nov 23 '13 at 04:04) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image

Aswk brother in islam....i thoroughly understand your feelings....i would suggest u that whenever u remember this girl n fell the pain start reading YA HAYYU YA QAYYUM BIRAHMATIKA ASTAGEES....u ll surely feel better....Allah is the Greatest and He knows The best....

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answered 4411139 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmathullahi wa barakathahu Akhi.. Jazakallhu khairan.

(Nov 23 '13 at 04:05) muslimboy muslimboy's gravatar image
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Asked: Apr 04 '13 at 02:02

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