Assalamoalaikum Wa Rehmatullahi Wa Barakatu,
I have come across a family where the husband been a muslim consumes alcohol everyday and illtreats his wife and child. He is also a womeniser and even after many attempts to get him to the right path he hasnt. What should the lady do? Her family isnt financially strong enough to support her and she is living this way since more than 2 years. And is it haraam if he touches her after he has consumed alcohol? Kindly Guide us as what the Sharia'h says about it... Assalamoalaikum
It is easy to give it up if one is sincere and determined, and seeks the help of Allaah, may He be exalted.
With regard to the wife, there is no sin on her if her husband drinks alcohol, because a person will not be brought to account for the sins of another. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And no bearer of burdens shall bear another’s burden”[Faatir 35:18]
Rather, she will be rewarded for her sincere advice to her husband. Her living with him is not haraam, because drinking alcohol does not make him a kaafir. So she shoul keep on calling him, advising him and making du’aa’ for him, and may Allaah cause him to repent. If she is keeping away from him in bed will serve the purpose of deterring him and making him give up alcohol, then it is permissible, but if it will not achieve anything, then do not do it.
, if after her very best efforts, your husband does not desist from openly transgressing the Prescribed Boundaries of Allah and insists on drinking alcohol, she has two lawful options in Islam: Bear his evil habit with patience with the conviction that justice will be served and she will get her full and due retribution for her patience and steadfastness in the Presence of our Lord Most Just, Most Supreme on that Inevitable Day of Judgment; and thus save her marriage. If she cannot bring her to accept her husband so blatantly disobeying the Commands of Allah, and especially if she fear that her own faith might be put to test because of the evil deeds of her husband, she well within her rights to initiate divorce proceedings against her husband….and if what you have related is indeed true, there would be absolutely no blame or sin upon you.
When dealing with financial issues,she should not be afraid. Allah says,“And whoever fears Allah, for him Allah brings forth a way out, and gives him provision (rizq) from where he does not even imagine…” (Surah At-Talaq: 2/3)Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account."(3,37)
-if she does not stay with him.she could have her parents watch her kids for her, while she work.Their are many options. -if she decides to stay she should have him remember death, and the consequence, or have his family make Him stop.
Nevertheless, screaming or yelling at him in such situations will never work. Hence she should strive to control her anger and call him in a kind and gentle manner with beautiful exhortation from time to time, whilst praying for him in his absence that he be guided, seeking out times when supplications are answered, especially the last third of the night.
She should Strive to give her children a sound upbringing and keep them from seeing or touching this evil. At the very least she can ask your husband not to drink alcohol in front of them, until Allah guides him and he repents from drinking it.
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has made a covenant to those who drink alcohol, that He will make them drink teenat al-khabaal.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is teenat al-khabaal?” He said, “The sweat of the people of Hell,” or, “The juice of the people of Hell.” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Ashribah, 3732)
It her decision, however you should let her know her to options.
As long as a wife is still married to her husband who spends on her within reasonable terms, she is not permitted to refuse to share the bed with him without a Sharee’ah-based reason like sickness, menses or harm due to having sexual intercourse and the like. As regards the husband committing sins, even if these were major sins like consuming intoxicants, then this does not permit the wife to refuse to share the bed with her husband
However, if the wife is very harmed by the smell of alcohol on the breath of her husband, then she is permitted to refuse his call to bed.