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I was married for four and half years and my husband divorce me shorlty after I give brith to our second child.. The main reason was there too many involed in our married including his mother and my mother.we used to come home after seening our family and end up in big fight and argue,his mum will tell him that I am useless and my mum will do the same and say that he is a useless man and he doesn't do anything for u and ur kids.. This was bringing me down on me and my married. So we came to agreement that it is better for us to be apart and no more be married to each other so we end up chosing our familys and it was heartbroken that we end up like this after all what we been thru us husband and wife... So after 3years he gets married to a family girl and I been signle sincs but he came back into my life and we end up talking and he sees his kids all the time but am falling in love with him again and I am scared what will my family say or his family if we do wanted to be toghter and ofcourse I don't mind being his second wife as long he is fair to us then I am more then happy wallaahi but I am just scared about my family ...... But the worst thing is in this problem he doesn't remember how many tilaaq he give it to sincs he was angry when we broke so I am so confused wallaahi and I am lost am not sure if he is kheir to my life or not only allah knows it and I am not sure he is worlthy if I lose everything as in my family... Give me some advice please sincs I can't talk to anyone in my family or to my friends..

asked 10 fatima1221's gravatar image

Salaams, sister.

In my opinion, the first thing you need to do is relax. This is a situation that needs time to solve, rushing things would only make the situation worse.

Second thing you need to do is close your ears to what other people say about the marriage. A marriage consists of TWO people - a husband and a wife, until you have kids. NOBODY else.

One way to deal with this would be to directly confront the situation, by talking to your ex-husband about it face to face without any pretense or expectations. Tell him what you want, tell him how you feel. Tell him that your marriage fell apart not because the two of you weren't getting along, but because of what other people whispered in your ears. Be open and honest. If something cannot be acquired without honesty, its probably not worth acquiring and there's probably something better out there for you.

One thing's for sure, though. Don't bother with what anyone else has to say about it, because it's YOUR life, not theirs. Go out, meet people, exercise, take a class, enjoy life. Good things will happen, InshaAllah.

Sister above all remember one thing, Allah puts obstacles and things in our path to test us, and whatever happens, happens with his knowledge. Allah loves you more than you can imagine, and he will only take something away form you because he wants to give you something better. Something far better than you could have imagined. He will only put you through trials and hardships to make you a better, stronger person and to give you a beautiful reward in the hereafter.

Read istiqara salaah in the proper manner and Allah will guide you.

answered 21227 HamzaC's gravatar image

salaam i really appreciated it for your answer and insha allah only allah knows the best and may allah guide us all insha allah .thank you very much....

answered 10 fatima1221's gravatar image

But please relax sister. Our main lives are yet to start, InshaAllah, in the after-life. Just relax and be a good Muslim here. Provide what you can for your family. Make people happy, go out of your way to do nice things. And pray.

answered 21227 HamzaC's gravatar image
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Asked: Apr 22 '13 at 05:07

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Last updated: Apr 22 '13 at 06:29

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