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Hi All, I am a Muslim Girl and from the childhood I have my own morals and values according to which I sustain my life with respect, previous 3 years I am in love with a guy, he still loves me but he is not in a condition by which he marry me, he is also in very frustration and tension about his career, I am also a Career Oriented Women and wanted to become something successful in life, Previous year he told me that you marry someone else whoever comes to your parents, I was get angry an came some other Metro City for the job, when I came here I met a guy he is also in my company, I do not love him as much as I love him, he has some problem with his wife means his wife is not so much attentive to sex, so he is frustrated by marriage, I really don't know when I get into all that, now I lost my morals my values, my virginity and all. He was not able to marry me since he is already having a kid of 2 years. I ruin out my life. Now i don't have sukun in anything. Kindly give some Idea plz.. Otherwise i will kill myself one day.

asked 03 Sheeba_khan's gravatar image
reverted May 05 '13 at 01:23 Muhammad Abdul Ahad ♦ 1.8k2314 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

IN Relationships, Marriage & Marital Issues SECTION. THE COMMUNITY IS MADE FOR THE PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND ISSUES... You will be replied there...

(Apr 23 '13 at 23:33) Irfan Alam ♦ Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

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Assalamu 'alaykum . Firstly , if you are a muslim girl , why did you talk with gaire mahrams ? This is not allowed . You shouldn't have mixed with males for love . Now you see , what outcome it has brought ? Secondly , WHY DID YOU TYPE SLANG WORDS IN THIS SITE ? THIS IS A MUSLIM SITE . I had to edit the question . Now , your answer . My sister , love is not everything in life . Our life is short . Oneday we will have to die . The life in akhirat is eternal . So , don't think about duniya , think about akhirat . And don't even think about suicide . Those who suicide might go to hell . And punishment in hell is really unbearable . Don't give up . I also have a relationship problem . I had to overcome those horrible thoughts . Use your thoughts and tears to think about akhirat , not about duniya . I warn you again , DO NOT SUICIDE ! Please sister , don't do this . It's a request from me . I don't want to see you in hell . Wait a few days , you will die after a short time anyway . I ask you to build relation with Allah , not with humans . Just look at this . Allah is so beautiful that jannatis will stare at him for 70000 years at a strech . Don't you want to see Allah's majestic appearance ? Allah is eternal , he has everything , he is the strongest , he can do anything , he is compassionate , he loves his makhluqat . He has so many qualities that anyone can fall in love with him . He should be our main concern . You know , some pious humans spent their entire life by worshiping Allah . We should try to be like them . Just think about jannat , don't you want to go there ? If yes , then please renew your faith and become a mumin . I request you again my sister , don't suicide . And don't tell anyone that you committed zina . In some places like arab , adulterers are punished by stoning to death or giving 100 lashes . Keep your sin a secret . Ask Allah to forgive you , he is our only hope . Return to Lord Allah , you still have a chance .

answered 1.8k2314 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image
edited Apr 23 '13 at 15:42

I see nothing wrong in your answer.

Dawah or calling others to Islam is the best of deeds, because it involves guiding people to the Straight Path and to that which will bring them happiness in this world and in the Hereafter:  “And who is better in speech than he who [says: ‘My Lord is Allaah (believes in His Oneness),’ and then stands firm (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allaah’s (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: ‘I am one of the Muslims.’”[Fussilat 41:33 – interpretation of the meaning]  Calling others to Islam is an honourable mission. This is the work of the Prophets and Messengers. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained that his mission in life, and the mission of his followers, is to call people to Allaah.  The Muslims in general and the scholars in particular are commanded to call people to Islam, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  “Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islam), enjoining Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful”[Aal ‘Imraan 3:104] 

answered 73210 Light's gravatar image

Asakum, But the problem is the first guy still says that he loves me, I tried allot I changed my contact number 2-3 times, I am also not able to live without him, after you answered my problem yesterday, I went to my room take bath, do pray and cried allot for the forgiveness, I said Allah to show me some way. But at the end of the day the first guy call me and ask me for the forgiveness of whatever he did by which i get hurt. Last night he again proposed me and told that its our new beginning from now onwards we don't fight. I am helpless to say "Yes". But in my heart I have various questions that

  • Still Loving him is Right/Wrong ?
  • Marry to third person is Right/Wrong ?
  • If I marry to third person what are the results at the time of when we all are in front of Allah?
  • Being in contact with second guy is Right/Wrong ? How to get away from him.

After all that I was thinking that do not get married and starting an NGO in my own city, Since its a big decision, for that I have to fight or convince my parents. Besides this I have so many questions which I am not able to describe. Please answer this as soon as possible.

Sorry For the English..

answered 03 Sheeba_khan's gravatar image
edited Apr 24 '13 at 01:04

Assalamu alaykum , @Sheeba_khan , I told you before and I am telling you now , stop thinking that those males will love you permanently . These kinds of males who change their atitude from time to time are not trustable . You shouldn't marry anyone of those three mans . This might be hard for you , but I say that please cut off any thoughts or relation you have with them . There's a good chance that they will again make problems after marriage . And not only that , it is stricty forbidden for muslim women to mix with gaire mahrams for love . This kind of love might feel good at first , but I warn you my sister , these kinds of relationships will most likely be no good . Sister , think about what just happened . You mentioned in your question that you lost your virginity . See , are these kinds of base acts good at all infront of Allah ? These relationships are risky and might create a horrifying outcome . Sister , I don't want to be harsh , but please learn from your mistakes . Here's an example - A rabbit mistakenly runs into a lion in a forest . It somehow manages to escape from the lion , but being foolish it again walks the same path . The result is easily understandable . I suggest you ask your parents to find a pious mumin husband for you , inshaallah it will be good for you . Mumins can only make relationships with mumins , not munafiqs . A pious mumin brother will most likely not argue with and will always try to keep you in good spirits . I don't suggest you to remain single , as satan might tempt you to do zina again . So , marry a mumin brother and live in peace . I again apologize for my behaviour , but I need to make things clear . Try to spend a good deal of times thinking about quran and Allah , inshaallah these duniya related thoughts will go away . Sister please pray the five times fard salat , read quran everyday , keep your tounge busy in zikrullah . Give akhirat more priority than duniya , this is a key ingridient required to become a mumin . You need a good deal of knowledge to completely realize that akhira is 100% true . After you comprehend these things , keeping your nafs in control will become easy inshaallah . Please visit some islamic sites and increase your faith . I have found a very good site that serves this purpose .

may Allah show you the right path . Ameen

answered 1.8k2314 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image
edited Apr 24 '13 at 04:45

But Its wrong to marry some other person, its DHOKA for him.. What about it?

answered 03 Sheeba_khan's gravatar image

Please make your question clear

answered 1.8k2314 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

U told me to ask my parents for searching a Mumin. So its wrong to marry someone and give dhokha to him. I don't feel good. I have too much tension about this. Should I quit the company? , Both guys are muslim only. But dont know why Allah took me so much of complications in Life.

answered 03 Sheeba_khan's gravatar image

What does dhokha mean?

answered 1.8k2314 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

Dhoka means is to Cheat someone. Sorry for my English

answered 03 Sheeba_khan's gravatar image
edited Apr 24 '13 at 04:53

If you meant by your question that " is cheating with someone and marrying him wrong ? " , then my answer is yes , it is undoubtedly a sin to cheat . The reason that I forbade you to marry your muslim boyfriends is that they can not be trusted , as they change their behaviour again and again . And please don't say that Allah has put complications in your life . There are many people who live in a much worser condition than you . Please be happy and don't complain .

answered 1.8k2314 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image
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Asked: Apr 23 '13 at 05:59

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Last updated: May 05 '13 at 01:23

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