I have been happy married going on 10 years. Plz excuse My words. My husband stop having sex with me. I do almost everything for him as I am suppose to. He has no complants about how I am as a servent to him.When I lay next to him and he sees I want him.He says not now go away. Its going on 2 years witj him not having sex with me. He puts his hand in My private and says its ok. But his private juzt wont do as it is suppose to. He swears he is not doing anything with any other. We agreed to have a child but how. I was married before and was blessed to have 3 children . 2 boys 1 girl. Now something strange is going on. My Daughter whom is 15 says to me he is acting weird. Like buying her really different underwear sets and he keep saying to her you know i live you. She never takes thr underwear sets from him she does feel confortable to wear something like that so she returns it for something conservative. Oneday My Daughter and fell asleep on the sofa and I was aeaken by a weird noise comong from where My husband sleeps. It seems as if he was touching.himself. His bedroom door was wide open looking directly on to the sofa. I went mad. I closed the door and asked what is he doing. He said he was itchy there and for me to stop thinking haram and dirty thoughts . plz advise me on how to handle this plz. thank you salamalikom plz keep in mind he is really treated like a king in our home. He has no stress from work. And was also given pills from his doctor but it wont work. Is it me.

asked 101 aliali123's gravatar image

Wa 'alaykumus salam. Sister, your husband is acting in suspicious way . He might have been musterbating instead of having sex with you. He is also buying your daughter underwares and this is very suspicious too. If this continues then something bad might happen . Tell your husband that fulfiling wife's sexual needs is a duty upon him. Allah doesn't like this. He should fear Allah . There's a good chance that he was musterbating thinking your daughter. Sister, your daughter should wear clothes that don't attract your husband. I think the problem started here. If your daughter wore modest clothes then how could your husband be attracted to her? If your husband is a musalman , then how can he do these acts? Your husband needs to fear Allah . If he fears Allah sub'hanu wa ta'ala then this problem will be solved inshaallah. You should try to attract your husband so that he doesn't engage in any haram acts. Warn him about the punishment for disobeying Allah. If even then he doesn't mend his charcter, inform someone respected in your family about this. He/she might advise your husband on changing his behavior. If even then your husband doesn't fulfil your sexual needs and thinks dirty thoughts about your daughter, then give him talaq, as he is not performing the duties of marriage. If he doesn't make you happy and doesn't have sex with you, then what is the point of being married. The purpose of marriage is to fulfil one's sexual desires in a halal way with his wife, creating a family and supporting it's expences. If a marriage rather makes one hungry for sex and creates chances for fitnaa, that kind of marriage would be meaningless.

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answered 1.8k2313 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

Salamalikom Sister and thank you so much for reading My message. WallahAllahzeem I dont understand what made him like this. AlhumduAllah My Daughter dresses in lose abaya and lose very conservative clothing. When I try to put fear in him about all he is doing. He answers me saying I owe him because if it was not for him I would never had the strength to become muslim.Wallahi I look to him and want to throw up. I dont have family to talk to for help because they dont accept me becoming muslim. And all of his family is in Egypt. I have asked him if we can go to the mosque to speak with the emam he refuses. Also I am not aloud to haveany female friends or to pray at the mosque. If Ileave what do I do .

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answered 101 aliali123's gravatar image

If this continues, give him talaq and return to your parents, as living with him might harm your religion. Aren't your parents muslim?

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answered 1.8k2313 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

Salamalikom No My parents are not muslim. I converted to Islam thats when My family disowned me and My children. I am sitting here now just watching him.And Iask myself what have I done for Allah to have me go threw this.

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answered 101 aliali123's gravatar image

Sister, I feel very sorry to have heard your condition. What I advice you is that if you have the ability to do jobs, then you should find a work that allowes you to wear hijab and offer salat, then you will be able to leave him and live with your children. If even that is not possible, keep giving dawat(send messages of quran and deen) and hope that one day your family and your husband will accept islam. Then you won't have to worry about these problems. You should do dua sincerely , recite a lot of durood. Inshaallah one day or another your problems will be solved. Sister, I wish I could help muslims like you, but sadly I myself have so many problems. Don't lose your faith sister, never give up. We have to win this war. May Allah help us overcome every kind of hardships.

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answered 1.8k2313 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image
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Asked: May 01 '13 at 22:34

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Last updated: May 02 '13 at 05:18


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