I have done many sins in the past and ask Allah to forgive me, however I do believe people will be punished in hell or in dunya. I am being punished in dunya. I have been suffering for trichotillomania (desire to pull ones hair out) for 26 years. I have become so ugly that I bet I will not get married. My mother thinks its my fault and that I could "just stop". IF I COULD JUST STOP I WOULD HAVE 26 YEARS AGO. She never understands. I have suicidal thoughts and I just want to runaway start my life over. I am on brink to I just need money. I'm so lost. I do pray daily prayers but I loose so much Ihope I just stop. I really do feel I will go to hell, I think I should renounce my Faith and take off my hijab which has hidden my true identity. I don't want to represent islam with the horrible things I've done. I know you will just tell me Ohhh " shaitan is making you think this way" "just keep asking for forgiveness" "stay strong" but for how long! This disorder seems never ending. I will loose my hair forever, i will end up hideous EVENTHOUGH I already am. I just don't know. What are Duas to seriously ask forgiveness. I just want to go to Makkah and pray there. I do ask you make dua for me too! I don't want to leave islam. But I don't know. Please dua for me!
"There are two blessings the majority of mankind have been deceived concerning." The majority of mankind do not appreciate these two blessings. They are "health," good health, "and free time."
Once a person came to Yunus ibn 'Ubayy, one of the scholars of the Salaf, and he complained of extreme poverty as he had not been blessed with much. Yunus ibn Ubayy asked him, "Would you be willing to give away your sight for a certain amount of money?" The man said, "No, of course not." Then he asked him, "Would you be willing to give your hands away?" He said, "No, of course not." He asked, "Your feet?" He said, "Of course not." When he finished he said "I see that you have hundreds of thousands of millions of blessings, yet you are complaining of poverty?"
We have our full faculties, we can see and hear. Look at someone who Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala has tested with blindness. It is a very severe test, and that is why the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam has said in an authentic hadith:
"There are two things if Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala takes them away from a person and he is patient, he is guaranteed Jannah. These two things are the two eyes."
So how about you who can see and is in this condition, what will Allah reward you if you are patient
If a Muslim apostatizes and meets the conditions of apostasy – i.e., he is of sound mind, an adult and does that of his own free will – then his blood may be shed with impunity. He is to be executed by the Muslim ruler or by his deputy – such as the qaadi or judge, and he is not to not be washed (after death, in preparation for burial), the funeral prayer is not to be offered for him and he is not to be buried with the Muslims.
And Allaah has stated that whoever turns away from faith in Allaah and remembrance of Him exposes himself to a life of hardship and misery, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither believes in this Qur’aan nor acts on its teachings) verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection.”
Once you have understood this, and it has become deeply rooted in your heart and you are at peace with it, then you will know that Allaah has not created this universe, with the earth and the heavens, the seas and the rivers, the mountains and plains, the oases and the deserts, except for your sake, O poor, weak creature. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“He it is Who created for you all that is on earth” [al-Baqarah 2:29]
Then you will realize that the great purpose for which you exist in this world is to worship your Lord and Creator, Who has created all things well:
“And I (Allaah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)”
[al-Dhaariyaat 51:56 – interpretation of the meaning]
He has only created life and death in order to test His slaves in their performance of this duty of worship:
“Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All‑Mighty, the Oft‑Forgiving”
[al-Mulk 67:2 – interpretation of the meaning]
Then Allaah honoured His slaves and promised those who do good in this world that in the Hereafter theirs will be Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, in which is that which no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard, nor has it ever entered the mind of man. By the same token, He has warned those who do evil and neglect His rights over them that theirs will be a blazing Fire, in which they will neither live nor die, in which He has created all kinds of punishments and torments, hearing of which would turn a child’s hair white, let alone seeing them and suffering them. We ask Allaah to keep us and you safe from that… ameen.
Once you know this with certainty, then you will know that succeeding in this test is a serious matter which can only be achieved with a measure of effort and hardship which requires patience and forbearance. But this is hardship which passes swiftly and difficulty which soon comes to an end, because it is followed by eternal rest and happiness. So what is an hour of hardship and a moment of pain when compared to that eternal delight. We ask Allaah to bless us and you with His grace and Paradise…ameen.
You should also note – may Allaah guide you – that the more religious commitment becomes something strange and the fewer people there are who truly adhere to it – as is the situation nowadays – the more difficult it becomes to remain steadfast. It is hard to be different from the vast majority of people. Hence Allaah in His wisdom increases the reward of the sincere believers who remain steadfast in adhering to the truth, those who give precedence to pleasing Him over everything else and sacrifice that which is most precious to them for the sake of achieving that. In Saheeh Muslim (145) it is narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Islam started as something strange and will go back to being something strange as it began. So glad tidings to the strangers.”
In Sunan al-Tirmidhi (3058) it is narrated from Abu Tha’labah al-Khushani (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “After you there will come days during which being patient will be like holding on to a live coal. The one who strives during those days will have a reward like that of fifty men who strive as you do.” According to another report: It was said: “O Messenger of Allaah, the reward of fifty men like them or like us?” He said: “No, the reward of fifty men like you.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 3172
Know that the life of this world (dunya) is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children… the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment. (Al-Hadid 57:20)
Verily, the Promise of Allâh is true, let not then this (worldly) present life deceive you, nor let the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allâh. (Luqman 31:33)
The Prophet s.a.w. said the Hell fire is surrounded by your desires, surrounded by women, surrounded by your wealth, and surrounded by pride. And paradise is surrounded by undesirable things.(Wa Hujiba jannah bi makaari) Know Oh Mumin! Don’t let this world fool you—The Prophet s.a.w. said Adunya—this world is cursed. Except for the remembrance of Allah, and that which resemblance it; the scholars or the one who is learned.(Zuyani li nisa hubba shawaha….) Allah Subhana wa tala is “Beautified for men are that which they desire from women, and that which they desire from children, from gold, from beautiful animals, and from wealth. This is the enjoyment of this world which will end and what Allah Subhana Wa Tala has the best abode. And Say, O Muhammed s.a.w, Shall I not inform you of that which is better, that which is better then all of worldly things; For those who fear their Lord: Gardens which rivers flow, and Purified mates, and the pleasure of the Allah Subhana Wa Tala.