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I need your help. I am new to this forum. I was searching a forum like this to get ma doubts cleared. I am hardly loving someone and I need to marry him. But his parents are not allowing to marry me because of the reason that we are same age. My parents are ok with that guy but his family support is needed. My parents waited for there reply for more than 1 year. He is hardly forcing his parents. But they are not allowing for this marriage now. Ma parents are getting hurted because of me. but I cant marry any other person. I dont know what to do?Please help me to take a good decision? and is it wrong to do this to my parents? Islam is the religion in which we can choose our partner but what to do in this case? Will allah (subhanahu wathala) punish me for doing this? I need your suggestions

asked 1524 abida's gravatar image
closed May 23 '13 at 22:48 sadie ♦ 1.6k314 sadie's gravatar image

NO beloved sister..tell your guy to make his parents understand that its allowed in islam to marry a girl of any age ie: Hazrat muhammad sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam married khadija radiallahu ta'ala 'anhu who was much older than him and he also married ayesha radiallahu ta'ala 'anhu who was much younger to him...so tell his parents to look at your way of living, your good nature/good qualities that u have , and not take a random decision just because you both are of same age..! In sha ALLAH may this outcome help u to the most ! If u still have a doubt then leave a comment or else accept/vote the answer !

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answered 1.1k1416 aaliya's gravatar image
edited May 11 '13 at 09:17 Muhammad Abdul Ahad ♦ 1.8k2313 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

They are not getting convinced with that reason and he s only 23 now. So they dont have any problem but wot about ma family? they are forcing me to marry another guy. What should I do?

(May 11 '13 at 12:11) abida abida's gravatar image

sorry to ask but have u been physical with this guy of yours ?

(May 11 '13 at 12:47) aaliya ♦ aaliya's gravatar image

No we dint

(May 15 '13 at 07:21) abida abida's gravatar image

Your saying you cannot love it is the case of a heart that has been affected by the shaytaan and his waswaas (whispers).there are many men better than him. If his parents does not want him to marry you then why are you persistent. Love is something should develop while you are married. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/129):

Love is a psychological sickness, and if it grows strong it affects the body, and becomes a physical sickness, either as diseases of the brain, which are said to be diseases caused by waswaas, or diseases of the body such as weakness, emaciation and so on. End quote. So do not make your parents more sad. You should marry the man they have choose. He maybe a man much better, and inshallah you will grow to love him.

Until you can manage to do that, keep yourself busy, mentally and physically, with acts of worship and obedience, and do not give the shaytaan any opportunity to reach your heart or distract you.

You should also note that one of the most effective remedies for one who is affliected with that is to turn sincerely to the One who answers the prayer of the needy when he calls upon Him and to persist in seeking His help with submission and humility. This is the first step, then he should strive to remain chaste and conceal the feelings that are in his heart.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “ … whoever seeks to be independent of means, Allaah will make him independent, and whoever is patient Allaah will bestow patience upon him, and no one is ever given anything better and more generous than patience.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6470) and Muslim (1053).

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answered 73110 Light's gravatar image

Thank you for your answer. I am trying to change my mind but it will be a hard situation to live with another guy and I will feel so sorry if I see him after many years. And I doubt it will go wrong if he tries to contact me. I don't want to live like that. I need to live in Allah's way. So if I keep patience for some time his mom will support us. No body can be stubborn for silly reasons. Insha allah. pray for me.

(May 23 '13 at 03:01) abida abida's gravatar image

"Love is a psychological sickness, and if it grows strong it affects the body, and becomes a physical sickness, either as diseases of the brain, which are said to be diseases caused by waswaas, or diseases of the body such as weakness, emaciation and so on. End quote. So do not make your parents more sad. You should marry the man they have choose. He maybe a man much better, and inshallah you will grow to love him." lol. so you should grow to a sickness? marry the man your parents pick for you. you all are backwards. he maybe much better or he maybe much worse. follow your heart.

(May 24 '13 at 12:11) mike malzahn mike%20malzahn's gravatar image
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Asked: May 11 '13 at 06:31

Seen: 4,899 times

Last updated: May 24 '13 at 12:11



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