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So from the age of fifteen I used to have doubts about God and religion. I always wondered the things a young Muslim girl should have not wondered, I didn't want to but it just happened and so slowly my faith started to slip away from me. Then at the age of 16 my father gave me a English version of the Quran for me to understand. But the things I saw really did not please me. I saw constant insults being thrown at Jews and Christians, declaring them "pigs" and whatnot and the part I found absurd was the part when a husband is allowed to hit his wife, but didn't the Quran also state that "Heaven lies underneath your mother's feet". Your wife may not be your mother but you should treat her with the same respect. I just feel as if that Islam restricts women's rights and cages them up. And the things like, death penalties for adultery honestly shocked me. The allowance of stoning people to death brought tears to my eyes, quite literally. A few months ago or perhaps last year everything all at once went wrong for me. Not going to say what happened because I want my privacy conserved. Anyway, things went really rough and I can not just help but think that if God really cared about me then he'd help me. But no things just kept getting worse and worse and worse. And so eventually I lost all my hope in God. I declared myself an atheist and I still am. Today my mother brought a woman to our house to teach me Quran, Arabic is a language quite foreign to me so when I read the Quran I sound awful. I hated it. I hated pretending to be a muslim amongst them. I hated being degraded and compared from the woman and hated being teased by my little sister who can read much better than I ever will. I'm a 17 year old, female and quite frankly, I just want to believe again because it is much easier than not believing and keeping a secret amongst my Muslim family. It's not easy for me though. How do I become a muslim again? Should I read the Quran? Go visit a mosque? What should I do?

asked 132 citydreams's gravatar image
edited May 18 '13 at 13:28 Muhammad Abdul Ahad ♦ 1.8k2313 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

Oh sister! Please return to islam. Do not die in this state of nifaq (following islam to show others)! Munafiqs will be in the lowest part of jahannam. Please do this for me. Go to the kitchen, grab a matchstick, light it up and just try to touch the fire. You will obviously take you hand away. If you aren't able to tolerate this small ember, then if you go to hell(Allah forbid!), how will you tolerate fire which will be 70 times hotter than this? Please repent. Realize that Islam is the only true religion. If you don't believe me, I can give you proof. When you hear Athan in you area, you might also hear some dogs making strange noises. Why do you think dogs howl when they hear Athan? Do you think for no reason? Sister you gotta believe this! Because Athan is the divine call to prayer and satan hates it. And dogs howl when they see satan. Doesn't this prove that Islam is true? Also, just think about these - from where did you come? What was before you? Who sent you to this world? Where will you go after your death? Who created this world? Who are you really? A body or a soul? If the soul exists, then doesn't it's creator also exist? Who is he? What was his purpose of creating this world? If he created us then didn't he inform us about him? Who was the one to carry these informations? Messengers and prophets(peace be upon them)! Who was the last messenger? There has to be a last messenger if this world was created by someone. The only answer you will find will be - Hazrat Mu'hammad sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Then wasn't the religion he established true? Doesn't this mean that islam is the only true religion? Of course it is the only true religion. You will never ever find that any other religion so pure, so true. After thinking these, InshaaAllah you will understand what is iman(faith). Islam is a tree and iman is it's root. After renewing your faith, repent sincerely to Allah. Ask him to forgive your sins and show you the right path. He is our creator! Tell him all of your problems. Allah will hear. Then go to someone who has good knowledge in Islam. If you find anything making you doubt about islam again then tell him/her to help you. InshaaAllah everything will go fine. HadakAllah.

answered 1.8k2313 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image
edited May 18 '13 at 20:54

I'm not a scholar, but it seems you are in a predicament.

I understand that you are confused, but that is the beauty of Islam - it holds all the answers. Do not be afraid to ask questions about religion, as this will only increase your hold on your iman.

Also, never forget that Islam is a religion of peace. As Muslims, we are required to treat all beings with respect. Everything that Allah has stated in the Quran has been done so for a reason. Some verses to you may sound confusing, but make sure to ask someone, like a qualified Imam, to explain the context of these verses.

Don't pretend to be Muslim. That truly is an egregious error - but, don't leave Islam as well. If you are confused, rather than pretending, ask someone you trust and is qualified to answer questions, like your local Imam.

Lastly, remember Allah (SWT) is Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim, the most Gracious, and the most Merciful. Yes, you may have made some mistakes, but that does not mean that Allah or Islam shall hate you. You just have to find your way. Put effort into this process, and stick with it no matter how long it takes. By doing this, you will increase your Iman, InshAllah.

I am not a scholar, rather a fellow Muslim trying to take care of you. I truly hope you'll find your way, and embrace the wonderful way of life that is Islam.

As always, Allah knows best.


answered 10 SeanB's gravatar image
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Asked: May 18 '13 at 13:04

Seen: 1,293 times

Last updated: May 18 '13 at 20:54

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