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i am a girl and i am 16. m doing hssc1. i love a guy. we have been going out for a year now his parents knew about us. his dad told him to make it legal which was obviously not possible. because he is just 17. he is a mature and a religious guy. he has changed me alot. i have started wearing a scarf and i pray 5 times now. well the point is that recently his mum called at my place and talked tobmy mum saying that tell your daughter nit to contact my son again. she was very sweet. and advised me over alot of things. i know i shouldnt talk to him now. vut its so hard. he is there in whatsapp. facebook and cell phone. we love eachother too much. i was totally dependant on him. he used to wake me up and stuff. please while replying consider my feelings behind this. just dont answer like any other elder. they go like finish everything and stuff. i am very upsed and depressed. i keep thinking about him. i cang study. what do i do? stop talking to him secretly? or let it happen. or get over him? :'( its killing me. but i want to marry him in the future. please help me :'(

asked 102 hatred's gravatar image

As salamu 'alaikum. Sister you are too young for this. It is not bad to select him for marrying in the near future. But it's not good to mix with gaire mahrams like him, because Allah forbid, these acts can lead you to zina. And zina before marriage is a punishable act in Islam. It will be way better for you if you leave him alone now. Also don't talk with him unless it's very important. Islam tells us not to even go near zina. Seeing a gaire mahram is zina of the eyes, talking with a gaire mahram is zina of the mouth, touching a gaire mahram is zina of the hands. So you should stay away from him as much as possible. He can marry you later so don't think about it and study hard. You said that you can't stop thinking about him. Do you know the hudood punishment for zina with an unmarried man? 100 lashes! This is just the punishment in this world. Unless one repents to his Lord, the punishment for the henious act of zina in the afterlife will be more painful and lasting. Your thinking and mixing with this man can even lead to zina if you are not careful. So forget him for now. You can marry him later. You should be afraid of the punishment in Jahannam. When you think about Jahannam properly these duniyai thoughts will dissappear. Also think about Jannat. If Allah wills, you will enter Jannat, the eternal garden of bliss, there your husband and you will be able to continue this relationship for eternity! There your permanent age will be 16 and you will never get any older. Don't you want this to come true? I know teenagers feel a lot of attraction towards the opposite sex. But if your youth is spent in doing good deeds, and if you control your desires, you will be able to lead a happy marriage life, Insha Allah which will be better for you. Read Quran in a language you understand and ponder upon it's meanings. Focus on hard work and Ibadat so that you can live like a queen after your death. Take Islam seriously. Insha Allah your life will be completely changed.

answered 1.8k2315 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image
edited Jun 05 '13 at 18:20
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Asked: May 27 '13 at 09:04

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Last updated: Jun 05 '13 at 18:20

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