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I am very sorry that I would always ask the same thing over and over again. I am a very emotional person. So whenever something strikes me, I would always be depressed fr a very long time.

So here's the thing. I used masturbate. I have repented. I want to move on. I want to have a new life. Things weren't so easy cause I would always think about my past sins. I kept thinking if only I didn't do that.

I don't know if I've destroyed my body or what. I want to be pure again. I want my innocence back. Have I really destroyed myself? Nowadays I would always think that I am a slut. I know it's too harsh on me. To me masturbation is equal to actual zinaa or intercourse. That's why I'm this sad. I want to change the way I think but I don't know how. I kept thinking about how little my value and pride as a muslim woman. I would always thought that I don't deserve to have a good muslim man for my future husband. Everyone around me looked so innocent. I feel like I'm the only one that has sins the greatest among all of them. My depression is very serious. At times I feel dirty and tainted.

So earlier I went to a supermarket. I was laughing quite loudly because of a joke that my brother made. Sudden;y my brother jokingly said "Hey, right now your value as a woman is this small". I was quite shocked to hear that from my own brother. I know he was joking but it hit me. I don't even deserve to be with my family. I've done a grave sin. I am a cheap woman.

Okay so I know right now maybe all of you are thinking that I am over thinking and being too ridiculous. But this is how I think. I don't want to be so timid. I'm still young and want to enjoy life and create more new experience. But because of this event, I even thought of suicidal. It's tough. SO someone I am begging you please help and guide me to get out of this problem.

asked 2038 servantofgod's gravatar image

Wa 'alaikumus salam wa ra'hmatullahi wa barakatuhu wa maghfiratuhu. Sister, keep doing sincere taubah. Allah forgives all sins. Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you, for then you may get no help from anywhere.” Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds! You need not worry. Allah is Al-Ra'hman, Al-Ghafur. Musterbation isn't the same as zina. You have done sins, but you still have time to change. If you still have this evil habit, follow these steps:

  1. Realize that Akhirat is 100% true. Always think about death. Whenever you get the urgue to musterbate, think that Azrael 'Alaihi salam is coming. Also, know that Allah sees what are you doing. Wouldn't you feel ashamed if someone saw you naked? Allah can see you everywhere you go. Can you musterbate if someone is watching you? No. But Allah watches you and you still do this act. Isn't that a matter of shame? This mindset has changed me so much that even when I went to toilet I could feel that Allah was watching me go to toilet and what I was doing. I would feel so much shame! It might work for you too.

  2. Find a halal thing that you really like to do, like do some excercise, think about jannat, eat a tasty meal, etc. Whatever you do always keep your self busy. Always stay happy.

  3. Love the Akhirat, not the duniya.

  4. And the best solution to this is to marry. Then you will be able to satisfy your desires legally and also receive hasanah for it.

May Allah bless you.

answered 1.8k2315 Muhammad%20Abdul%20Ahad's gravatar image

brother focus on your deen instead of dunya Masturbation

answered 03 saleemkhan's gravatar image
edited Jun 14 '13 at 13:16
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Asked: Jun 01 '13 at 07:58

Seen: 2,438 times

Last updated: Jun 14 '13 at 13:16

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