I had been with a man for about 11 years. He was born a Muslim - I was not. He never practised his religion. About 6 months ago he became a devout Muslim - and 3 months later I reverted and became Muslim. We had not been living together and we stopped sleeping together when he became devout.
We were engaged and planning to get married.
About a week ago he told me that he had been on a Muslim dating site and had met a woman with whom he had formed a relationship with and had made his intentions to marry ("nikah"). I was devastated.
His reasons for this was that this woman was in hardship and he wanted an "instant family" (this woman has a 9 year old daughter) and wanted somebody "more devout"that I was and he was not prepared to wait for me to grow with my Religion.
I'm feeling really confused about where this leaves me now. I feel like Allah has abandoned me and does not want me to be Muslim. I'm really hurt and angry. Part of me wants my ex to be happy and have a good life with this new woman, InshAllah, but part of me is really angry and wants it to fail and that makes me feel bad. I really want him to be happy but he has really hurt me and part of me wants Allah to punish him for what he has done to me and that also makes me feel bad.
I'm really trying really hard to be positive about it and believe that it is Allah's will that this has happened. I try to read the Quran to find some guidance and assurance but it doesn't seem to be helping. Has Allah closed my heart? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.