I hope my brothers and sisters of Islam are well and hope to meet you all in the most successful of places one day InshaAllah.
I need a little advice on my relationship between my mother and I. Recently my mother and I seem to be avoiding one another infact we have become almost as if we were strangers.Maybe we are...you see my wonderful father (may Allah be pleased with him and grant him Jannah Ameen) passed away a year ago (wow weird still feels like yesterday how quickly time passes). Anyway I know this change means that we are all finding it difficult however for understandable reasons my mother in particular.
However since his death my mother and I just cannot seem to get along (let me just clarify she has 8children however I am the last and only one living with her). If i am in the living room she will walk out, if i try to talk to her she will just say something to upset me eg. this morning I asked her why are you so sad mum? to which she looked at me with a stone cold glare and replied 'whats it to you whether i am happy or sad?! Allah will take me through life however he pleases.' later I went to give her some money which she took it and instead of either just staying quiet or saying thanks she said 'you need to start living your life right'.
Ok i am far from perfect but I try do work hard, i pray and make duas for my parents all the time, i read dzikir, i work full time, i clean the house (and believe me for one lil old lady she know how to make a mess lol)etc etc...anyway what i am trying to say is that I have no idea what i am doing that she finds so wrong??? when my siblings come over they are treated with so much love and respect that i feel even worse because I think hold on a minute you guys dont do anything for her yet you get all the right treatment i mean i wouldnt care if she would just sit and eat at the table with me, she doesnt even have to talk to me I relly dont think I am asking for alot or am I??
Anyway I know this whole thing may sound bizzare however it really is upsetting me so much to the piont that i have often broken down and cried (but I know to capture my tears in a dua so this is what I do - however sometimes i just cry) and its mainly because i miss my relationship with her so bad. Dont get me wrong I know that she will never be the same again but I just need some help in trying to figure out what I am doing wrong before its too late. She really is a wonderful Muslima definatley better than me so that is how I know I am at fult its just that I dont know what or how???
I really do not want either one of us to pass away being upset or unhappy with one another, and I find myself becoming more and more annoyed at the fact that she is completely fine with all my other siblings. So although I am usually very strong and I enjoy a good challenge in life I have to admit that i am nearly beaten on this one...I dont know if anyone has ever lived with someone who is sooo miserable all of the time and only in your presense but its becoming real hard work. I really dont know how long I can live under the same roof.
Anyway not sure if anyone can help I have faith in Allah and believe whatever will be will be...however if anyone can suggest something I can do to either make her happy, or improve whatever it is that she thinks I am doing wrong or whatever than please offer suggestions as i think I am slowly loosing strength and becoming emotional (which i really do not like).