Currently, I'm very scared of those that really practices their deens. Such as imams, sheik or islamic teacher or any other people. I feel like they can know every single detail of my life! It's tiring to be afraid of something. I'm seriously tired. I had these thoughts when my friends, well most of my members always remind me that sometimes they can know something about you, either the time you have period(women) or whenever you didn't perform salah. They would talked about it. They told me this because they were told by their islamic teacher at religious school. It made me worried.
Nowadays, when I go to publics, I would always feel conscious about the way I look. Am I showing such signs? Am I just being paranoia? I feel like everyone in this world is here to judge me. I don't want that. And sometimes I do notice that sometimes boys would look at me and they talked to their friends and have some critical look on their face. Sometimes they would also laugh at me. Well, not always I would encounter to that kinda situation. Just sometimes. So yesterday I was at the Masjid, and an old lady was staring at me What? Do I have sign on my or body saying I used to did that and those???? What the?
Ok to sum it up, I want to know the truth about what y friends been saying and how to overcoe the fear to be in public which is afraid from being judge. I know this is not a counselling website but I'm hoping there's a way in islam.