asalam alaykum I have been talking to this boy for 2 years now. after a year we knew we wanted to get married but i was scared of approaching my parents. i was never close to them although we talk and joke sometimes i feel there is things we cant talk about and i am very shy when talking to parent about things like these. nearly all my siblings knew about us and i made sure that my eldest brother had met him. couple of months before the time i decided to talk to my parents, someone told my dad that he saw me with him. my dad came n asked me and i told him that i was talking to him to see if i wanted marriage. my dad said he would get back to me and concentrate on exam which were due in a month at that time. when he finally did he said he was against it. his reasoning was that he is of a different race (half same as me, the dad is, and half something else), his mum although a revert is not really practising, his parents are separated and from researching he doesn't like the family. i tried to explain to him that he is nothing like his parents as i have met them both and that he shouldn't be blamed for his parents actions, we don't get to choose who our parents should be. i don't know what to do. i don't want to continue talking to the guy as i have realised how wrong it is and am trying to keep it all halal alhamdulilah. we are both in uni and are looking to get married, my dad says that i should think of marriage after uni, that is in 2 years time and i dont want to prolong it, am scared ill become weak and resume talking. how do i convince my parents?? p.s we went to the same high school but didnt talk then!

asked 4411138 UnknownUser's gravatar image
closed Jul 19 '13 at 08:54 Irfan Alam ♦ 1.0k1935 Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

The question has been closed for the following reason "Needs to be posted on Islam.com Community site." by Irfan Alam Jul 19 '13 at 08:54

2 Marriage is not permissible and is not valid except with a wali, according to the majority of scholars, because of the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “There is no marriage without a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101) and Ibn Majaah (1881) from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ 7557.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709.

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answered 60618 Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image
edited Jul 18 '13 at 18:51 Irfan Alam ♦ 1.0k1935 Irfan%20Alam's gravatar image

i know that it is not permissible and that is why i am stuck. i wouldnt want to get married without their permission as that causes too much unwanted drama.

(Jul 18 '13 at 19:03) UnknownUser UnknownUser's gravatar image

Sister try to show your parent that u e innocent and try to show them that you are not theses kind girles who they think you are. Make dua for self, talk to your parent when they are in good mood t

(Jul 19 '13 at 07:08) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

But parent cannot force their daughter to son to married because it sinful tell your dad why would I merry someone which I don't even have felling for him or her

(Jul 19 '13 at 07:09) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

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Asked: Jul 18 '13 at 10:23

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Last updated: Jul 19 '13 at 08:54


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