I am currently 13 years old, going to 14. This month of Ramadan, subhanAllah I have been guided correctly to Islam. I have been a muslim since my I was 8-9 years old. The difference is that although I believed that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the prophet of Allah, I was way too stuck in this lifetime. I became accountable probably on the age of 10-11. But I didn't pray. I didn't know stuff about Islam such as Jumu'ah instead by slowly catching knowledge from the surroundings. Basically, I was making lots of sins. Now, I am 13 years old and I have learned alot about the religion. I am trying to fast and pray and pray for all the prayers I have missed. I fear and remember Allah for every thing I do, even if I am watching TV.
The problem is, I started to remember the sins that I have committed back then. I am so scared that I might have went out of Islam. - At age 12-13(before I became very religious), I had a class in school. We were learning about a story. The story was blasphemous. The story spoke about (God protect us from this) a boy who "looked" for God. (Wal ayathu billah). I knew at that time that it was a bad story, so I tried to refrain from saying it, but I can't not read for there was grades on it. My teacher HAD to ask me the most dangerous question: "Where did this Boy find ____? And in my heart, I know that I don't believe what I said. I needed to say something. So, I said: "So, he found a place". I immediately hated what I said and said that I believe that God exists without a place. I don't know if I knew that it would have possibly removed me from Islam. Did it take me out of Islam?
- At age 12-13, I also read these books called Percy Jackson. I got addicted and started discussing it with my friends. Of course, I didnt believe them. I always thought that they were not true. I might have said some lines it those books that are against Islam. Now, I am willing to throw them all to the trash. I repent this month for reading those books and saying such lines. The only thing that is holding me back from throwing them is the word "God" in it.
Please give me back an answer. I absolutely fear Allah and I am trying to worship him. Please tell me if I am still in Islam. InshaAllah.