I am 21 years old Muslim male. i have never been to a club and never had alcohol never.

As a child I had someone knock on my parents house asking for me (a man from the grocery store down the street) he would rub his private parts on my back and butt but I was only a child did not know what he was doing and I was scared to talk to my parents about it. But until one day he placed his hand into my pants and started feeling my butt and wanted to place and that’s when I told him to stop and asked my parents that that person was annoying me (did not tell them he was rubbing his private parts on my body). But since that day have never seen him again.

So after I grew up I became a strong Muslim and was afraid to commit Fornication (Zina) sex with a women so I used to watch gay porn to push myself from such a sin and didn't realize I was actually changing my mentality to liking guys. But I never really thought of dating guys or even thinking about it.

So after we moved from a Muslim country to a non-Muslim country. I bought a smartphone and loved it then realized that there are some apps for gay people to date so I started using it and talked with a lot of guys just as friends. With time some of these guys tried to convince me to hang out and meet up with them. I was excited and I have. With time I started going to guys houses to have sex and then go back home and cry about it and repent to Allah then the next month I will do the same. It became a habit of mine and I would say I have had sex with more than 10 guys... but I am scared of god I do not want to go to hell I want gods forgiveness but I stopped praying since I have started because I cant face god like in this shape I love him and I don’t want to meet him dirty... I am scared and I don’t know what to do I cannot stop dating guys but would love to know what to do. I like women too but afraid to fall in zina too so I keep sleeping with guys to not fall in zina.

I want your advice please make sense I am afraid of Allah punishment but I know that Allah is the most forgiving. I have tried to pray a lot and do more good stuff but still that did not stop me from doing it again, I also tried to fill up my timing but again I fell in this huge ugly sin that I would like to get rid of

I cannot get married because I cannot support myself yet. I cannot talk to my parents about it because they are very hard to communicate with I cannot go to my local imam because we are close friends and if I tell him I do not know what might happen I tried to talk to some Muslim friends about it but they are keeping it to black mail me so I cannot trust them anymore

I want you help to stop me from dating guys. And find my way back

asked 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image

complicated problem u have there too solve your problem requires deep meditation and prayers,plus a little bit extra from you because only your love to allah and fear from him can end this plight,bit of your inner will and devotion will end this,plus try to get to know some women as friends and if there is someone you like go for it and engage her until u able to sustain yourself :)

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answered 251 innerwillandcalmness's gravatar image

Aoa! I pray that Allah showers you with His Help, Forgiveness, Mercy and Guidance! My prayers are with you!

[First, I do not think that you are possessed by a jin as suggested by 'jinnbuster' -.-]

I do not entirely understand what homosexuality feels like, having never felt any inclination for it, but I know it is absolutely Haram in Islam. Interpretations by Islamic scholars around the world of Quranic verses and Ahadith (sahih) conclude that homosexual behaviour is HARAM.

There are references in the Qur'an which have been cited as referring to gay and lesbian behavior. Islam teaches that homosexual acts are sinful and punishable by God. This teaching comes not from human beings, but from the Creator of all humans. God tells us in His own words how He punished the people of Lot for their homosexual behaviour.

The two main references to homosexual behavior are:

"We also sent Lut : He said to his people : "Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds!" Qur'an 7:80-81

"What! Of all creatures do ye come unto the males, and leave the wives your Lord created for you? Nay, but ye are people exceeding limits!." Qur'an 26:165

But Allah has said in the Quran in the last verse of the 2nd Sur’ah: "Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

Before I write a really long confusing speech perhaps with no clear answers for you, my advice is that first, YOU try your ABSOLUTE BEST to refrain from a sin that is forbidden directly in the Quran (whose verses are guarded by Allah SWT Himself). If Allah Himself says He does not burden a soul beyond its capacity then He does not. It is a matter of Faith. Allah does not expect perfection from us but He does expect us to try our best. And secondly, something I personally learnt is that, instead of asking other Muslims with incomplete knowledge and muddled understanding (or misguiding internet websites that God only knows who wrote!) about something very important in your life, PLEASE PLEASE try your best to find authentic Islamic Scholars (Ulema), who do not declare that they are from a certain sect of Islam (we should call ourselves only Muslims, no matter to which school of thought our views resemble). Ask the SCHOLARS about this issue and how to fight it. My favourite scholars till now, are the late legends Imam Al-Ghazali, Imam Rumi and Dr Israr Ahmed, but you need to meet or write to scholar available today. I would have recommended Skaikh Kamaluddin as he comes to our local area from USA, but I'm in Pakistan and I take it you are not.I find it difficult to suggest a scholar due to my limited knowledge but see the links I pasted at the end [I know and like different scholars but most of them, like Dr. Zakir Naik, expertise in Dawa (invitation to Islam, where as you need a Shaikh (teacher of spirituality to Muslims)or higher].

As far as my advice goes, I suggest you absolutely stop watching porn (gay or straight) as this encourages your sexual desire and stay away from anything that encourages this behaviour. I actually used to watch porn and I have quit Alhamdulillah. I honestly think you can fight this as by your own admittance you, by watching gay porn, changed your "mentality to liking guys". You are lonely like any NORMAL human being. But porn, illegitimate intercourse, and absolutely prohibitted homosexual intercourse, is not the answer. Rather you should pray with all your heart to Allah to give you the best (female) spouse for you. The holy prophet PBUH said:

Abdullah (b. Mas’ud) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger (May peace be upon him) said to us: "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford It SHOULD OBSERVE FAST FOR IT IS A MEANS OF CONTROLLING THE SEXUAL DESIRE". [Sahih Muslim Book 008 Hadith Number 3233 and Sahih Bukhari ]

I am a servant of Allah Almighty, still studying Islam and may Allah ever prevent me from misguiding someone. What I really want to say is only Allah can help you and guide you. Only He can save you and answer your call, answer your prayers and give you the strength to fight your trials. You are on the right path as you want to repent, leave your sinful ways and you feel love for your Creator as the righteous servants of Allah do. But you must realise that Allah our Creator loves us very much (70 times more than a mother!!). That is why He has so much Mercy on us and forgives us and guides us. If you count His blessings on you, you will be astounded! But to understand all this you need to study the Word of Allah (He has given you a whole book to understand, which we sinners don’t find the time to do so, and sent a messenger to guide you and show you!)

BUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONGB, led astray by Shaytan and the inner evil nafs-i-ammara, IS STAYING AWAY FROM PRAYING! I understand that you feel dirty and find it difficult to face Allah, but you cannot commit such a major sin because of another one!! Don’t dirty yourself more! Prayer is your salvation! It’s how you thank Allah for everything, it’s how you praise Allah. You must realise that you will face Allah on the Day of Judgement, there is no way of escaping that. The Salat is the first thing you will be asked about. The Salat, Quran and Dua can save you and gain you Allah’s Forgiveness. Don’t you see that by keeping yourself away from Prayer and Dua, you are keeping yourself from asking Allah Almighty for HELP and FORGIVENESS? And only Allah can help you. But you have to ask Him. Ask Allah for help after WORSHIPPING Him in the SALAT. Allah says in the Quran: “And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.” [2:186] “Or, Who listens to the (soul) distressed when it calls on Him, and Who relieves its suffering, and makes you (mankind) inheritors of the earth? (Can there be another) god besides Allah? Little it is that ye heed!: Sur’ah 27 (An-Naml), ayah 62 And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you. Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.” [40:60] You cannot stay away from the prayer. Allah has created mankind to worship Him. You said that you feel ashamed to face Allah with sins, see what Allah SWT says about that: According to Sahih Muslim, Hadith 6499, Narrated by Abu Dharr, :

Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: that Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, stated: 'He who comes with goodness, there are in store for him ten like those and even more than those; And he who comes with vice, it is only for that that he is called to account. I even forgive him as I like, and he who draws close to Me by the span of a palm I draw close to him by a cubit, and he who draws close to Me by a cubit I draw close to him by the space (covered) by two hands, and he who WALKS TOWARDS ME I RUSH TOWARDS HIM, and AND HE WHO MEETS ME IN THE STATE THAT HIS SINS FILL THE EARTH, BUT NOT ASSOCIATING ANYTHING WITH ME, I WOULD MEET HIM WITH THE SAME (VASTNESS)OF PARDON (ON MY BEHALF)".

SubhanAllah! Never despair of Allah’s Mercy if you repent. Allah SWT says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get NO HELP from anywhere.”

Here are some links to continue reading about this, that you will Insh-a-Allah find helpful, but PLEASE seek help from scholars personally (not randomly on the internet or chat rooms, where you are not sure of their identity). They will definitely help you. Ask many, so they can suggest different techniques to help you. • This is to help you when you said you find it difficult to face Allah in sin (read the scholar’s answer): http://www.islamhelpline.net/qa/terribly-regret-my-abortion-and-feel-guilty • This is about Prayer and Dua and if you ever feel your prayers are not being heard/ answered: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dua#Only_God_responds This is about Nafs-i-ammara: • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nafs

•This is a link to the question by someone who struggles with homosexuality: http://www.islamhelpline.net/node/3793

These are the links to help you Insh-a-Allah find legitimate, God fearing scholars:

http://www.aswatalislam.net/ContentList.aspx?T=Audio&C=Lectures

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080309231620AAMgUxC

http://www.albaseerah.org/audiog.php# and http://www.albaseerah.org/contact.php

http://www.islam44.net/2011/07/some-of-greatest-muslim-scholars.html

http://www.islamicspirituality.org/shaykh-kamaluddin

I hope I helped! Please remember me in your prayers, I really need them. May Allah give you release from your sins and guide you and bless you! (Ameen)

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answered 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image
edited Oct 04 '13 at 04:30

al salam alaykoum brother, unfortunately in this day and age everything harram is very easy as shayton is there 24/7 before shayton was basically in secrecacy but now shayton is in clear and makes it very easy if not appealing to the human to commit these crimes of harram. like you said you thought of talking to men to stop you from committing zina with girls.. subhon allah how this cursed creation twisted your mind, you poor thing i feel so sorry for you from the bottom of my heart, inshallah you will have strength to beat this and once you do it will become a habit that will shape your life in the halal way, now for the treatment and help i strongly advise you to have ruqya done on you as this is a clear sign of possession as i have been doing ruqya for over 12 years what you are complaining about is the exact same thing that people in your state say and by the will of allah they have overcome this situation and are happily married with children..

im not sure what country your in but i know there is a roqi in london,lebanon,jordan,saudi,australia not sure about other countries these are the only ones i know about. i advise you also if anyone asks for your mothers name or her birthdate or they give you something to hang on you or house then these are not roqis they are magicians.. please be aware of these things.. if you need any advise contact me on face book our name is jinnbuster on facebook. may allah guide and proctect you inshallah wa salam alaykoum

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answered 193 jinnbuster's gravatar image

Salamun Alaikum brothers Uhm... The Allah is great!!! In my boyish imagination I never even think about-there is a person who don't want to fonder into committing a sin like fornication,but he draw a conclusion that to watch a gay movies is the solely way out to stay away from fornication. Although,there is general awareness that gay is more bad than fornication(zina)................. Think about my brothers

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answered 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Salam brother call me on 07595878205 n will talk inshallah you will be fine...don't lose hope in allah

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answered 23428 Faisal26's gravatar image

AssalamuAlaikum

Brother if you can you read Arabic,

Then go to this link and read in the Arabic as well as the translation of verse 53:

http://www.allahsquran.com/read/verses.php?ch=39

"Say,

O My servants

who have transgressed against themselves,

do not despair of the mercy of Allah.

Indeed, Allah forgives ALL sins. (is that possible? Yes)

Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."

And RETURN [in repentance] to your Lord (do it NOW)

and submit to Him

before the PUNISHMENT comes upon you; then you will not be helped."

You CANNOT give up. Indeed the fire of Hell is far more grievous and this is exactly what the Shaitan wants you to do: GIVE UP

Slaves of Allah, the only reason why you give up is you have no idea of how Merciufl your Lord is.

NO MATTER HOW BAD YOUR SIN IS, O believers, ALLAH'S MERCY IS GREATER THAN THAT. Therefore turn to him in repentance before the punishment comes and THEN you will not be helped.

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answered 2805 UmarAbdullah's gravatar image

AssalamuAlaikum

Dear brother,

Allah's Messenger (May peace be upon him) said.. "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire." [Sahih Muslim Book 008 Hadith Number 3233 and Sahih Bukhari ]

Try to fast as much as you can.

Fast every alternate days (i.e. 1 day fast, next day break, next day fast, next day break...). This is in the hadiths.

Dont do more than this.But please try to do this. ITS NOT THAT HARD..(really!)

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answered 2805 UmarAbdullah's gravatar image
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Asked: Aug 09 '13 at 01:42

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Last updated: Oct 05 '13 at 19:51


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