Aoa! I pray that Allah showers you with His Help, Forgiveness, Mercy and Guidance! My prayers are with you!
[First, I do not think that you are possessed by a jin as suggested by 'jinnbuster' -.-]
I do not entirely understand what homosexuality feels like, having never felt any inclination for it, but I know it is absolutely Haram in Islam. Interpretations by Islamic scholars around the world of Quranic verses and Ahadith (sahih) conclude that homosexual behaviour is HARAM.
There are references in the Qur'an which have been cited as referring to gay and lesbian behavior. Islam teaches that homosexual acts are sinful and punishable by God. This teaching comes not from human beings, but from the Creator of all humans. God tells us in His own words how He punished the people of Lot for their homosexual behaviour.
The two main references to homosexual behavior are:
"We also sent Lut : He said to his people : "Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds!" Qur'an 7:80-81
"What! Of all creatures do ye come unto the males, and leave the wives your Lord created for you? Nay, but ye are people exceeding limits!." Qur'an 26:165
But Allah has said in the Quran in the last verse of the 2nd Sur’ah:
"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."
Before I write a really long confusing speech perhaps with no clear answers for you, my advice is that first, YOU try your ABSOLUTE BEST to refrain from a sin that is forbidden directly in the Quran (whose verses are guarded by Allah SWT Himself). If Allah Himself says He does not burden a soul beyond its capacity then He does not. It is a matter of Faith. Allah does not expect perfection from us but He does expect us to try our best.
And secondly, something I personally learnt is that, instead of asking other Muslims with incomplete knowledge and muddled understanding (or misguiding internet websites that God only knows who wrote!) about something very important in your life, PLEASE PLEASE try your best to find authentic Islamic Scholars (Ulema), who do not declare that they are from a certain sect of Islam (we should call ourselves only Muslims, no matter to which school of thought our views resemble). Ask the SCHOLARS about this issue and how to fight it. My favourite scholars till now, are the late legends Imam Al-Ghazali, Imam Rumi and Dr Israr Ahmed, but you need to meet or write to scholar available today. I would have recommended Skaikh Kamaluddin as he comes to our local area from USA, but I'm in Pakistan and I take it you are not.I find it difficult to suggest a scholar due to my limited knowledge but see the links I pasted at the end [I know and like different scholars but most of them, like Dr. Zakir Naik, expertise in Dawa (invitation to Islam, where as you need a Shaikh (teacher of spirituality to Muslims)or higher].
As far as my advice goes, I suggest you absolutely stop watching porn (gay or straight) as this encourages your sexual desire and stay away from anything that encourages this behaviour. I actually used to watch porn and I have quit Alhamdulillah. I honestly think you can fight this as by your own admittance you, by watching gay porn, changed your "mentality to liking guys". You are lonely like any NORMAL human being. But porn, illegitimate intercourse, and absolutely prohibitted homosexual intercourse, is not the answer. Rather you should pray with all your heart to Allah to give you the best (female) spouse for you. The holy prophet PBUH said:
Abdullah (b. Masâ€™ud) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger (May peace be upon him) said to us: "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford It SHOULD OBSERVE FAST FOR IT IS A MEANS OF CONTROLLING THE SEXUAL DESIRE". [Sahih Muslim Book 008 Hadith Number 3233 and Sahih Bukhari ]
I am a servant of Allah Almighty, still studying Islam and may Allah ever prevent me from misguiding someone. What I really want to say is only Allah can help you and guide you. Only He can save you and answer your call, answer your prayers and give you the strength to fight your trials. You are on the right path as you want to repent, leave your sinful ways and you feel love for your Creator as the righteous servants of Allah do. But you must realise that Allah our Creator loves us very much (70 times more than a mother!!). That is why He has so much Mercy on us and forgives us and guides us. If you count His blessings on you, you will be astounded! But to understand all this you need to study the Word of Allah (He has given you a whole book to understand, which we sinners don’t find the time to do so, and sent a messenger to guide you and show you!)
BUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONGB, led astray by Shaytan and the inner evil nafs-i-ammara, IS STAYING AWAY FROM PRAYING! I understand that you feel dirty and find it difficult to face Allah, but you cannot commit such a major sin because of another one!! Don’t dirty yourself more! Prayer is your salvation! It’s how you thank Allah for everything, it’s how you praise Allah. You must realise that you will face Allah on the Day of Judgement, there is no way of escaping that. The Salat is the first thing you will be asked about. The Salat, Quran and Dua can save you and gain you Allah’s Forgiveness. Don’t you see that by keeping yourself away from Prayer and Dua, you are keeping yourself from asking Allah Almighty for HELP and FORGIVENESS? And only Allah can help you. But you have to ask Him. Ask Allah for help after WORSHIPPING Him in the SALAT. Allah says in the Quran:
“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.” [2:186]
“Or, Who listens to the (soul) distressed when it calls on Him, and Who relieves its suffering, and makes you (mankind) inheritors of the earth? (Can there be another) god besides Allah? Little it is that ye heed!: Sur’ah 27 (An-Naml), ayah 62
And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you. Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.” [40:60]
You cannot stay away from the prayer. Allah has created mankind to worship Him. You said that you feel ashamed to face Allah with sins, see what Allah SWT says about that:
According to Sahih Muslim, Hadith 6499, Narrated by Abu Dharr, :
Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: that Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, stated:
'He who comes with goodness, there are in store for him ten like those and even more than those; And he who comes with vice, it is only for that that he is called to account. I even forgive him as I like, and he who draws close to Me by the span of a palm I draw close to him by a cubit, and he who draws close to Me by a cubit I draw close to him by the space (covered) by two hands, and he who WALKS TOWARDS ME I RUSH TOWARDS HIM, and AND HE WHO MEETS ME IN THE STATE THAT HIS SINS FILL THE EARTH, BUT NOT ASSOCIATING ANYTHING WITH ME, I WOULD MEET HIM WITH THE SAME (VASTNESS)OF PARDON (ON MY BEHALF)".
SubhanAllah! Never despair of Allah’s Mercy if you repent.
Allah SWT says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get NO HELP from anywhere.”
Here are some links to continue reading about this, that you will Insh-a-Allah find helpful, but PLEASE seek help from scholars personally (not randomly on the internet or chat rooms, where you are not sure of their identity). They will definitely help you. Ask many, so they can suggest different techniques to help you.
• This is to help you when you said you find it difficult to face Allah in sin (read the scholar’s answer): http://www.islamhelpline.net/qa/terribly-regret-my-abortion-and-feel-guilty
• This is about Prayer and Dua and if you ever feel your prayers are not being heard/ answered: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dua#Only_God_responds
This is about Nafs-i-ammara:
•This is a link to the question by someone who struggles with homosexuality: http://www.islamhelpline.net/node/3793
These are the links to help you Insh-a-Allah find legitimate, God fearing scholars:
http://www.albaseerah.org/audiog.php# and http://www.albaseerah.org/contact.php
I hope I helped! Please remember me in your prayers, I really need them.
May Allah give you release from your sins and guide you and bless you! (Ameen)