for a number of years a Muslim man has been asking for my hand in marriage consistantly. he is well known to our family. on the first occasion my dad agreed to the proposal but a friend of the guy had called my dad telling him that he should not allow me to get married to him as he is not suitable. i know that this guy is only manipulating the situation as a week after my dad refused the proposal this guy himself came and proposed to me. my dad did not bother at all to investigate further and see what other people are saying about this man but instead he only took this guys words for it.
since then every time this guy keeps asking for my hand in marriage my dad keeps refusing.
i dont know what to do. it seems that there is no way that my dad would agree. i am rely happy for the marriage to happen because this guy has been waiting for this marriage for 4-5 years. i know that he really wants this to. the only problem is my dad making this impossible.
i my self cannot forget about this. i really want to marry this guy. ever since he first came for my hand in marriage i have been refusing every other proposals because of this man. i feel that if this marriage does not occur i can not marry another person because my heart is with this man.
i have tried to explain to my dad that i want this to happen but he does not listen. often threats me that i shouldn't even mention his name. he is too proud to back down on his word and agree to this marriage.
i am seeking your advice please help me as to what i should do. how can i persuade my dad to agree? is there a specific dua i can do?
Bismillahirahmanirahim. Dear sister, I am not an expert neither a pious one but I have Islamic background education and I befriend with teachers who teach the beauty of Islam to others. Thus,this is my humble opinion on your problem. First and foremost, don't stop praying to Allah s.w.t. to seek His guidance for your marriage. Ask Him if that man is the right one for you, then make it easy for your father to accept him, to accept the marriage and to lower his pride. Since, if he is truly the one choose by Allah for you, no matter how many days, months or even years you will be marrying him.
Second, used a third party to persuade your father. Someone who is dear and who he would at least listened to. He might not listen to you because he thinks that you are blinded by love or he has his own choice. The thing is you need to know what he thinks and have a small talk to understand him. Silence and talking at the back will only make things worse. Other than that, ask the man himself to try to talk to your father and touch his heart by doing or giving something he likes. He might open his heart and try to rethink his decision.
Finally, the position of a father in a family is just like mother. He will feel hurt if we try to oppose or be rude to him. His prayer will be heard by Allah. Therefore, it is necessary to persuade him gently than if it is not working than you can ask advise from religious office to interfere with the matters if it could not be settle peacefully. Thus, this is my humble advise and forgive me if some of the words could not be express as polite as it can be. May Allah ease your way toward barakah marriage and Allah gives you happiness throughout you life. Amin.