I am a young girl who is 19 years old and I have a BIG problem and it is that I'm addicted to sex, a guy who is not Muslim and we do everything together when I'm with him I just want to be there with he all the time. Does a sick mom and my dad raped me when I was small and not very good contact with him even though he lives near us. One day I was at home with the guy and I was lying on his bed came this verse of the Koran in my heart "Inna batsha Rabbika lashadiid" (Quran 85:12).

I can read and understand a little Koran but the strange thing was that my heart knew this verse, but I could not understand myself what it meant. And I do not pray when I'm with him but I pray when I'm with my family, I ask all the time even though I do not pray the Fajr prayer on time. And I have repeatedly promised ALLAH that I would never go back to this guy and do not haram but it is simply not possible then I see that I am with him again and again and again. Am I a hypocrite then? Is this a warning from ALLAH, then? I find it hard not to see him although I wish was with my mom and help her with everything she needs and to obey my master/lord and so there would seem to be easy.

Do I have contact with him after all he has done? I will always be scarred for what he has done. I never thought my life would be like this I would do haram and make zina and so on.

And all this started when I was 16 years old and was engaged/married to a guy from Latin American and I separated myself from him since he began stalk after me and so on. Then after that I started doing haram, etc. but before I never did zina and every guy that I happen to look at so reminiscent of my ex all the time but I do not even want. So I wonder what this is? There was a time I dreamed about him all the time and the weird thing in this dream was that I did and he has come back to each other. And it's the last thing I want.


Addendum

Hello to all of you there. First of all let me thank everyone who replied to me and it felt good that there are people who cares though, I would also point out that what happened to me has nothing to do with GOD or ISLAM they are free from this, but the culprit is who performed the action. And God is not unjust towards his servants. I could have thought like this "God allowed my dad to rape me several times why should I believe in him?" but NO I would never think like that. It's wrong, GOD has nothing to do with the matter and do, and then let me point out again that Islam is a perfect religion that came from ONE SINGLE god and everything that has happened to me has a reason and this is a trial, but that does not mean that God wanted this to happen with me but God knew this would happen. This world is a trial, and my father will be punished sooner or later. God is fair.

And then I want to comment on everything @Kind- Lady said, you should know that everything that happens in the world happens for a reason and the people are those who spread corruption, war, etc.

I feel good after all that has happened, and I needed to hear that God is there and he lets you not go through this alone, put your trust in him and so it was really nice and be told this, a counselor or a psychologist helps no they sit there and babble, but when you know that he who created the heavens and the earth is there for you and love you it's the best feeling, I want his love not only men, and EVERYTHING I have done is a really BIG sin and regret every day that passes, and the biggest thing to do is to acknowledge sin to youreself.

God knows best.

asked 015 Meriam's gravatar image
edited May 17 '12 at 11:02 goldPseudo ♦ 295215 goldPseudo's gravatar image
1

What you have done is a huge sin, I cannot say whether you will be forgiven since you knew it was wrong and could not resist temptation. I suggest you isolate yourself from this person so that you do not do further haram, pray and think about what you have done and repent.

(May 09 '12 at 14:36) Mim4040 Mim4040's gravatar image

Astagfirrullahhalazim .. Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim. forgive the sins of these Your subjects. Truly Thou Most Forgiving and Most Merciful. Lot of-plenty do repentance O my friends. only Allah can judge and forgive you. surely Allah Most Fair and Knowing everything. bad faith is come from the heart. said Rasulullah s.a.w, "in the human beings there is a piece of meat, if the meat is bad then evil he is. and if the meat is good then well he is. know that is the heart".

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answered 2029 Muhammad%20Izammudin%20Ismail's gravatar image

sister have faith n make dua for repentence and forgiveness.... if u repeatedly are goin bak to this guy then iman is not strong n maybe the prayers u r makin at times might not b getttin excepted if ur intentions r to go n see him n do wrong again im not 1 to judge or disrespect but u done it urself u should respect the body allah has given u and wish to satisfy our lord salaamz sister

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answered 615 brotherabjol's gravatar image

Salam,

Sister may Allah help you as you have gone through a disaster at home and may be that is what has caused it. May be something else is causing you to commit this great two sins, which are committing zina and been with a Kafir, and I think if am correct what you are saying and feeling that he the Kafir may have done [SIHIR] magic on you and you should consider seeing your local masjid for a Ruqya, because why is it that you can pray when you are with your family and your not when your with him.

My dear sister in Islam woman are pressures they are expensive in the past thousands of men's have died for a single woman, Allah messenger [saws] have fought for a woman and broke a contract with the jews, how is it that you break our heart by doing this sin with a Kafir don't you know that our dignity is with the woman and that we Muslim men who are on the surface on this earth would die and perish for a woman, how is it that you would break our heart by committing this sin with a Kafir, while Allah says about them, [They do not observe toward a believer any pact of kinship or covenant of protection. And it is they who are the transgressors] [9 v10] and also says, [The fornicator does not marry except a [female] fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers] [24 v3]

And also my sister Allah asks you a question which is, Why, [when you heard it, did not the believing men and believing women think good of one another and say, "This is an obvious falsehood"? [24 v12] Allah here asks you a question when He says, [did not the believing men and believing women think good of one another] this is the standard which Allah Has set for you and that is because you believe in Allah and you should think good of yourself and should not lower yourself in to doing sins as Allah here shows you how He Has honored you as been a Muslim, and warns you of what you are doing and says, [O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing] [24 v21] My sister do you feel how Allah loves the Muslims and how He is always warning them over the traps of the devil when Allah says, [indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing] and this immorality is committing the sins which you have done, but know that the way to get out of it is to seek Allah help and be on the path, in your case which you have said you have been seeking and making Du'a so keep doing it and also seek from your local masjid a Ruqya because I believe it may be a [sihir] magic what is effecting you and it can take some time to clear your system.

My sister our Du'a are with you and know that Allah forgives bigger sins then the one you are in and that is even Shirk Allah forgives but the condition is to repent so my sister I would erg you to keep repenting every night until you get your Ruqya done and stay away from him, and Allah says, [Unquestionably, to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and earth. Already He knows that upon which you [stand] and [knows] the Day when they will be returned to Him and He will inform them of what they have done. And Allah is Knowing of all things] [24 v64]

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answered 3443 caabi's gravatar image

What you have done is a huge sin, however Allah can forgive everything except shirk, if you ask for mercy from Allah and make a promise to yourself that you won't indulge in this thing again and keep this promise, Allah shall surely forgive you, but you have to stay away from it in the future.

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answered 312 Maaz's gravatar image
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Asked: Mar 16 '12 at 07:08

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Last updated: May 25 '12 at 19:05


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