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Asalaam alaikum. I am a 21 years old muslim sister and I've been converted to Islam for 8 months now, Alhamdulillah. After one month of my Shahada I married my husband who actually was my logical reason of converting. Don't get it wrong, he was only the one who introduced me to Islam and thought me everything that I know today. He is a very good man and Inshallah a good muslim. Couple of months ago something must have been happened, and I don't know what exactly but since then he changed. He changed towards me and towards our marriage. We are arguing all the time, sometime not talking to each other for days. He says that I am only imagining stuff and bringing up stupid things and that's why I argue. I am trying my best to be a good wife of his despite my age (he is 34), I am trying to take care of the house, cook and look after him as much as I can. I put hijab on and cover myself, I pray and fast. I am in my final year of University plus I have a full time job as well, working six days a week and he is still complaining why did I not cook, this and that. While he only works couple of hours a day, as a taxi driver and I asked him to understand that I am only human and I am trying to look after him but I am tired sometimes and he could help me around the house as well. When I am trying to get close to him in bed, he says he is not in the mood and goes to sleep. Before we used to be together on an almost daily basis.

But the most recent thing that is concerning me is that on one Saturday night when he went to work, he came home for 10 min to pray Fajr and went back to work and only came home at 9 a.m, thing that never ever happened before. I asked where has he been but he says only work. I don't want to be suspicious and I am asking Allah SWT to help me and show me the truth but I feel that something is going on. I am trying to talk to him about this but he says all the time just let it go. But we need to find a solution, he said what if there is no solution? I told him that is better to live alone than in a bad company. We used to be happy before and now I'm crying almost everyday. I wish and I pray we get back to our happy days. I love him to bits, but don't know what to do. Please help me!

May Allah help us all to be better muslims and guide us to the right path. Ameen

asked 0544149 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Assalamu Alaikom warahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu. Sister, from what information you have given, be assured that you are not imagining anything. You are observing inconsistent changes in your husband's behaviour and cannot be blamed for wanting to make some sense of it. After all you love him and care for him. It seems that you have taken on a more than fair share of responsibilities too in your marriage and are not complaining. You are also wise to do duaa and turn to Allaah SWT and seek His guidance and protection from whatever it is that is going on. Keep close to Allaah SWT as He really will light your path and make obvious that which you should know. Your husband will not be able to hide anything which Allah SWT does not want to remain hidden. He wiill also stregthen you so that you will be able to deal with the situation which surrounds you at present. No one likes to come home to a broody, uncommunicative partner who is unwilling to share that which is causing distress to the other partner. And believe me, everything has a solution. We can let go of small things so as to live a peaceful life but when things begin to impact in a big way.....then they need to be tackled. Communication is the key. There could be many reasons as to why your husband is unwilling to talk but time WILL reveal what is being concealed. Meanwhile, you can keep trying as you have been and maybe you will strike a response and resolve whatever is the cause of the problem. One has to be patient so as not to jump to conclusions. May Allaah SWT guide you and show you the way.

answered 5287 stronghold's gravatar image
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Asked: Sep 16 '13 at 16:36

Seen: 733 times

Last updated: Sep 17 '13 at 08:14

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