As-salamu alaykum to whoever is reading this.

I was with this Muslim guy for nearly 2 years. We actually fell for each other quite quickly and then started to date. I hardly ever date and prior to this I told myself whoever I get with next shall be my future husband inshallah.

I brought this man into my life, introduced him to my family and friends because I wasn't all keen on hiding and running around with him. I'm 20 right now and he's 23 turning 24. A few months into the relationship he started mistreating me really badly, he would flirt with girls behind my back or ignore me for days and talk down to me. There was points where he would dump me but then come running back. I thought love was all about forgiveness and giving people second chances so that is why I forgave him for every little thing.

I ALWAYS use to put this man on the straight path with work and the religion but my efforts were NEVER appreciate. I suffer from depression because of him. I cry nearly every night. I did everything for him wallah and it's unbelievable things turned out the way they did.

Just recently he told he does NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE. How I never listen to him and he wants nothing to do with me anymore. He told me I'm losing out, not him, but me. and how I have made a mistake and I lost for him for good this time. As you could imagine, my heart is extremely broken right now.

I NEVER DATE AND THE FIRST TIME I DID, THIS HAPPENS. he gave me hopes that we were going to get married, like everything was a lie, he led me on. and please dont tell me to move on and focus on myself. Its easier said than done. I opened up my life to this man only for him to do this to me. I don't believe in karma anymore because for the past 5 years he's been treating girls so badly, he would use them for sex and leave no matter how they liked him. and now he did the same to me, I didn't expect this to happen because I thought I was different.

please please my Muslim brothers and sister, give me advice. I'm feeling so angry, used, hurt, betrayed and depressed. I'm trying so hard to focus on school and other things but it doesn't work. I don't even have closure so how could I ever move on?

He always told me I was wifey material and how no one has ever loved him as much as I did and did all those sweet stuff like me and I truly do believe it so why doesn't he love me anymore?

asked 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image

salamualeikum sister, i sympatize with u, n am not goin to tell u to move on ok? But i'l tell u two possible reasons y it all turn out lyk dis, one of which is certain n d other is on probability. 1. Islam forbids dating, its haram, to avoid what u faced is one of the reasons why it is forbiden. And that is fact. 2. A man dumps a woman for one of two opposite reasons: is either ccos he demanded for sex n u refuse, OR cos he had seen what should have been ur husband's pride in u.(i.e had sex with u). So what eva d case is, regret what u have done, ask foregiveness frm Allah n repent truely. U sim to b surprised he promised u alot, sis cos u ar inexperience, beliv me there ar lots of men hu deceive women jst to get what dey want.

answered 4411142 UnknownUser's gravatar image

hmmm, really, she never said anything about SEX, maybe you need some advice yourself

(Nov 06 '13 at 17:36) lord7475 lord7475's gravatar image

She did actually re read her story.

(Dec 06 '13 at 11:04) Miss Question Miss%20Question's gravatar image

Well here goes and this is gonna be the cold hard truth!

You fell for him, YOU, i.e. not him falling for you, your start of the post is wrong wrong wrong "We actually fell for each other quite quickly and started to date" WAIT WAIT, what who told you this? And then you started to date? OH man come on wake UP already! It takes about 10 dates before you can make this kind of statement

So what you then decided he was gonna play ball like some trained dog, please sista dont kid yourself, he was NEVER ONBOARD. and then he told you he has STOPPED loving you, LADY he never started!!!

Then you say you endured 2 years of this! I dont know who is more crazy you or the GUY (YES ACTING LIKE EVERY GUY OUT THERE)

ook so 5 years then you say he has been hurting other women?? SO now your stalking him, YOU MUST BE WANTING TO GET PUNISHED. Ok ok so ths is alittle mean but NOW please tell me youve learnt a lesson and moved on, the good part of your post was you are 20,get another guy right now and please dont be posting this 5 years later!

Look all needy guys say the same stuff you are chatting, STOP BEING A NEEDY GUY you are a girl! OK thats it game over!

PS ignore the poster above you DID NOT STATE YOU HAD SEX so either tell us if you did or didnt AND THEN WE CAN MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION. If you did then he has already left you, come on you stated yourself "he has sex and moves on", wait then i read the part where YOU put him on straight and narrow YOU gave him a second change WHAT THE HELL! YOURE NOT WIFEY YET! So what you think your the fairy godmother???? GET THIS he did you a favour when he levelled! NOw get out there and get hubby no 2!

answered 101 lord7475's gravatar image
edited Nov 06 '13 at 17:34

ok so that was mean but im 30 yeh im married and yeh I know that the feeling is strong, when a guy likes you please make him prove it, and again and again, inf fact i have to go rite now to prove I deserve my wife, its not a granted thing, and its not based on looks etc, PLEASE message me and tell me you have seen the light!!!!

(Nov 06 '13 at 17:39) lord7475 lord7475's gravatar image

Truth is like it or not you got get over it and move.thats why should never fall in love before marriage.its simple but its the truth.theres plenty of gooood men out there. Wait till u get married. Don't get urself hurt anymore by wasting time with idiots.

answered 23428 Faisal26's gravatar image

Um well I hate to point this out. Me of all people. But u shouldn't have "dated" anyways. N ur parents shouldn't have let that happen. But u did say he treated u bad and that's b4 u promised him yourself forever. He obviously didn't, love u. And I'm sorry People rarely mean those worda now adays. Be safe.

answered 162218 a_mohammed's gravatar image

Dear Sister, There you go putting yourself down ('Me of all people'). You gave good advice. You ARE capable of giving good advice. Be positive about yourself. Salaam

(Nov 07 '13 at 03:30) stronghold ♦ stronghold's gravatar image

Salaam my sisters & brothers in Islam. We should be kind & comfort one another especially when a young girl's heart is breaking & she's asking for advice from fellow Muslims. Dear sister I'm so sorry & deeply understand what you felt & I hope u r feeling much better now as time is a healer. Sis sometimes ALLAH takes away what we think is good for us but ALLAH knows best & in time we find out we are so much happier now that thing or person is out of our lives. Sis imagine if u married this guy he would be treating u bad for a long time n u would be more depressed than now. What u need is to reach out to ALLAH & cry out for him to mend Ur broken heart & send u someone so much better than Ur ex. Also sis pls repent for all the sins u have ever made walah You'll feel so much better. Nobody or anything else can take away your bad feeling or cheer u up like the way ALLAH can. Pls smile you r only 20yrs inshallah ALLAH will bless u with a wonderful husband & u will never feel this bad again. Ps repentance is not only for sex it's for all your sins major or minor.

answered 153 guilt123's gravatar image
edited Dec 04 '13 at 16:46

You weren't meant to date anyway, you knew he was doing crap and cheating on you like a hundred times, you did nothing about it, let it go on for two years, was too love-struck to actually see sense and you weren't even happy but yet you still did nothing. Whose fault does it seem like it is?

answered 167 answerer's gravatar image


answered 015 Meriam's gravatar image

Hello, to the girl that made that comment about the guy leaving her, i just wanna say im an 18 year old male who is muslim, i am a kurdish guy but im very sweet and kind and gentle, i am a virgin and i never kissed but i was with a girl for 5 years because i wanted to find true love and after 5 years she doesn't wanna be with me, she said she would be with me forever but she didn't, she wants to leave me and i am so heart broken because the love i gave her was real, the care i gave to her was from my heart and i would do anything 4 her, she was my first and she threw me away like i was nothing, i thought she would be with me no matter wat and i wanted 2 be with her forever but she doesn't wanna be with me anymore because shes not happy and says she cant be with me cuz she see's no future with me, i gave her my love, i never cheated, i dont flirt with women or talk to women, i never lied to her, i was loyal and honest and wanted 2 have kids with her but she just didn't care for me anymore, im really heart broken just like u but i really do want to find true love, why dont you add me on face, im Mager Sabri with a baby picture but i wanna get to know you and be your friend, i wanna talk to you and get to know each other :) why dont you make facebook and add me, i promise it will be worth it if you add me :)

answered 10 MomoIslam's gravatar image


Blame yourself

answered 015 Meriam's gravatar image

female? haha.pity you woman..I say that it is unlike other.

(Dec 16 '13 at 15:15) Meriam Meriam's gravatar image
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Asked: Sep 21 '13 at 17:02

Seen: 2,344 times

Last updated: Dec 23 '13 at 19:01

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