Now updated: Islam.com Ramadan calendar - islam.com/salat

As-salamu alaykum to whoever is reading this.

I was with this Muslim guy for nearly 2 years. We actually fell for each other quite quickly and then started to date. I hardly ever date and prior to this I told myself whoever I get with next shall be my future husband inshallah.

I brought this man into my life, introduced him to my family and friends because I wasn't all keen on hiding and running around with him. I'm 20 right now and he's 23 turning 24. A few months into the relationship he started mistreating me really badly, he would flirt with girls behind my back or ignore me for days and talk down to me. There was points where he would dump me but then come running back. I thought love was all about forgiveness and giving people second chances so that is why I forgave him for every little thing.

I ALWAYS use to put this man on the straight path with work and the religion but my efforts were NEVER appreciate. I suffer from depression because of him. I cry nearly every night. I did everything for him wallah and it's unbelievable things turned out the way they did.

Just recently he told he does NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE. How I never listen to him and he wants nothing to do with me anymore. He told me I'm losing out, not him, but me. and how I have made a mistake and I lost for him for good this time. As you could imagine, my heart is extremely broken right now.

I NEVER DATE AND THE FIRST TIME I DID, THIS HAPPENS. he gave me hopes that we were going to get married, like everything was a lie, he led me on. and please dont tell me to move on and focus on myself. Its easier said than done. I opened up my life to this man only for him to do this to me. I don't believe in karma anymore because for the past 5 years he's been treating girls so badly, he would use them for sex and leave no matter how they liked him. and now he did the same to me, I didn't expect this to happen because I thought I was different.

please please my Muslim brothers and sister, give me advice. I'm feeling so angry, used, hurt, betrayed and depressed. I'm trying so hard to focus on school and other things but it doesn't work. I don't even have closure so how could I ever move on?

He always told me I was wifey material and how no one has ever loved him as much as I did and did all those sweet stuff like me and I truly do believe it so why doesn't he love me anymore?

asked 0543146 UnknownUser's gravatar image

Salaam sister,

I know how you feel as I am in a very similar predicament. Except this relationship is not in the knowledge of my family. You feel hurt, I understand this, but Allah chooses the events in your life for a reason. Consider this a blessing.Truth is, time is not a game. Our future is unpredictable, and if I was to die now (Allah forbid) then my punishment is Jahannam. Inside a "tanoor stove" from which flames will burn from the bottom. HOWEVER, Allah SWT is most merciful, it is the manner of our repentance that will heal the wounds we have made ourselves.

Salaams Anonymous

(May 11 at 17:44) ForgottenPromises ForgottenPromises's gravatar image

Salaam sister, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. But I hope to think that Allah understands that this was a mistake and Allah will guide you from now on and hopefully bring the right man into your life. But for now, all I can say is focus on Allah, Allah will help you.

(May 12 at 12:31) InLoveWithIslam InLoveWithIslam's gravatar image

actually we dont believe in karma sister simply because dont believe in reincarnation.however we believe in consequences of our good and bad deeds and just in case this guy is thinking he can get away with all that then no,Allah will certainly get him and make him pay for this.you please concentrate on school and whats more important rather than becoming depressed and ruining your career and life.unfortunately many girls fall prey to swines like him at this vulnerable age,just dont allow anyone to hurt you like this, I just pray Allah swt help you in all your affair through life sister, salam.

(Jun 09 at 05:31) Asmar993 Asmar993's gravatar image

Well here goes and this is gonna be the cold hard truth!

You fell for him, YOU, i.e. not him falling for you, your start of the post is wrong wrong wrong "We actually fell for each other quite quickly and started to date" WAIT WAIT, what who told you this? And then you started to date? OH man come on wake UP already! It takes about 10 dates before you can make this kind of statement

So what you then decided he was gonna play ball like some trained dog, please sista dont kid yourself, he was NEVER ONBOARD. and then he told you he has STOPPED loving you, LADY he never started!!!

Then you say you endured 2 years of this! I dont know who is more crazy you or the GUY (YES ACTING LIKE EVERY GUY OUT THERE)

ook so 5 years then you say he has been hurting other women?? SO now your stalking him, YOU MUST BE WANTING TO GET PUNISHED. Ok ok so ths is alittle mean but NOW please tell me youve learnt a lesson and moved on, the good part of your post was you are 20,get another guy right now and please dont be posting this 5 years later!

Look all needy guys say the same stuff you are chatting, STOP BEING A NEEDY GUY you are a girl! OK thats it game over!

PS ignore the poster above you DID NOT STATE YOU HAD SEX so either tell us if you did or didnt AND THEN WE CAN MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION. If you did then he has already left you, come on you stated yourself "he has sex and moves on", wait then i read the part where YOU put him on straight and narrow YOU gave him a second change WHAT THE HELL! YOURE NOT WIFEY YET! So what you think your the fairy godmother???? GET THIS he did you a favour when he levelled! NOw get out there and get hubby no 2!

link
answered 252 lord7475's gravatar image
edited Nov 06 '13 at 17:34

ok so that was mean but im 30 yeh im married and yeh I know that the feeling is strong, when a guy likes you please make him prove it, and again and again, inf fact i have to go rite now to prove I deserve my wife, its not a granted thing, and its not based on looks etc, PLEASE message me and tell me you have seen the light!!!!

(Nov 06 '13 at 17:39) lord7475 lord7475's gravatar image

It takes 2 to commit zina.

(May 12 at 13:06) abdul_wasay ♦ abdul_wasay's gravatar image

salamualeikum sister, i sympatize with u, n am not goin to tell u to move on ok? But i'l tell u two possible reasons y it all turn out lyk dis, one of which is certain n d other is on probability. 1. Islam forbids dating, its haram, to avoid what u faced is one of the reasons why it is forbiden. And that is fact. 2. A man dumps a woman for one of two opposite reasons: is either ccos he demanded for sex n u refuse, OR cos he had seen what should have been ur husband's pride in u.(i.e had sex with u). So what eva d case is, regret what u have done, ask foregiveness frm Allah n repent truely. U sim to b surprised he promised u alot, sis cos u ar inexperience, beliv me there ar lots of men hu deceive women jst to get what dey want.

link
answered 0543146 UnknownUser's gravatar image

hmmm, really, she never said anything about SEX, maybe you need some advice yourself

(Nov 06 '13 at 17:36) lord7475 lord7475's gravatar image

She did actually re read her story.

(Dec 06 '13 at 11:04) Miss Question Miss%20Question's gravatar image

YOU WERE IN LOVE IN GUY, GUY WAS NOT IN LOVE IN YOU. THERE IS A PROBLEM,

Blame yourself

link
answered 515 Meriam's gravatar image

female? haha.pity you woman..I say that it is unlike other.

(Dec 16 '13 at 15:15) Meriam Meriam's gravatar image

Your just blown In the head. Why date? Is something wrong ? You cry after everything goes wrong but you still ignored Islam. Your fault cos it was your choice. I am being harsh that's what you get. It's a very very very very stupid thing to do, go and date. People do, do it but they don't realise they just being played like you. I'm sorry but I have to say this. HAHAHAHAHAH

link
answered 131 Shbhaan619's gravatar image

Truth of the matter is; he manipulated you into getting what he wanted. That is what this world has come to nowadays. No longer is love valued and appreciated. Men go around like wild dogs trying to get some meat. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. But this happened for a reason. Appreciate everything that comes into your life, because each has been sent from a guide above. The best thing for you to do is to just simply move on. I know that is easier said than done, but it is the only option you have. There is no point in wallowing in your sorrows, that will get you nowhere in life. Understand that, he was a pervert, he never loved you and he just manipulated you. Let this be a lesson, learn from it, and never let this happen again. When the time comes for you to find a man in your life make sure you find a respectable and well suited man, one who isn't a manipulative pervert.

I wish you the best,

Your sister.

link
answered 102 Oskol22's gravatar image
-1

Truth is like it or not you got get over it and move.thats why should never fall in love before marriage.its simple but its the truth.theres plenty of gooood men out there. Wait till u get married. Don't get urself hurt anymore by wasting time with idiots.

link
answered 1528 Faisal26's gravatar image
-1

Um well I hate to point this out. Me of all people. But u shouldn't have "dated" anyways. N ur parents shouldn't have let that happen. But u did say he treated u bad and that's b4 u promised him yourself forever. He obviously didn't, love u. And I'm sorry People rarely mean those worda now adays. Be safe.

link
answered 163222 a_mohammed's gravatar image
1

Dear Sister, There you go putting yourself down ('Me of all people'). You gave good advice. You ARE capable of giving good advice. Be positive about yourself. Salaam

(Nov 07 '13 at 03:30) stronghold ♦ stronghold's gravatar image
-1

You weren't meant to date anyway, you knew he was doing crap and cheating on you like a hundred times, you did nothing about it, let it go on for two years, was too love-struck to actually see sense and you weren't even happy but yet you still did nothing. Whose fault does it seem like it is?

link
answered 519 answerer's gravatar image
-1

hkdgjkl,nkkknkmlmklö

link
answered 515 Meriam's gravatar image
-2

Salaam my sisters & brothers in Islam. We should be kind & comfort one another especially when a young girl's heart is breaking & she's asking for advice from fellow Muslims. Dear sister I'm so sorry & deeply understand what you felt & I hope u r feeling much better now as time is a healer. Sis sometimes ALLAH takes away what we think is good for us but ALLAH knows best & in time we find out we are so much happier now that thing or person is out of our lives. Sis imagine if u married this guy he would be treating u bad for a long time n u would be more depressed than now. What u need is to reach out to ALLAH & cry out for him to mend Ur broken heart & send u someone so much better than Ur ex. Also sis pls repent for all the sins u have ever made walah You'll feel so much better. Nobody or anything else can take away your bad feeling or cheer u up like the way ALLAH can. Pls smile you r only 20yrs inshallah ALLAH will bless u with a wonderful husband & u will never feel this bad again. Ps repentance is not only for sex it's for all your sins major or minor.

link
answered 113 guilt123's gravatar image
edited Dec 04 '13 at 16:46
Your answer
toggle preview

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text](http://url.com/ "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Tags:

×578
×89
×88
×16
×9

Asked: Sep 21 '13 at 17:02

Seen: 4,110 times

Last updated: Jun 10 at 00:58



©1998-2013 Islam.com Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.