Now updated: Ramadan calendar -

I hope I get a clear picture through this. I know this girl for 7 years n liked her before alot but since she left abroad for 4 years didnt think marriage would happen at that early age I was 23 n now im 27 and she came back n I realised that I still like her n now I love her for the peraon she is . Meanwhile when she was abroad I got engaged 6months back. I told my parents about her now because I want to make a halal relationship with her and get married to her. Previously before she left we were together for maximum close to a year n we did get involved physically little bit when till now I ask forgiveness from ALLAH . We know we did wrong and sincerely repent it. I want to have a halal relationship with her. I mentioned about her to my parents but they are not agreeing because they say its haram to know the girl for that long and get married and also because my parents have given a word to the father of the girl I got engaged to. Where I know there is nothing called engagement in islam. I love my parents n I love the girl because we both have changed for good and come closer to Allah . My parents are forcing me to get married to the other girl and going ahead with the preparation without my consent. If I try to convince them or say no they say such hurtful things that I dont know wat to do and jus keep quite. I really want to get married to this girl I love but is it right to leave the house till my parents get convinced or pray n beg Allah more and watch the preparations happening in front of my eyes and wait for Allah's miracle to make it happen and cant say anything because it will hurt my parents . Please tell me how to convince them in the right way.

asked 101 usmanalinoaman's gravatar image

Someone please answer to my question and show me the right way

answered 101 usmanalinoaman's gravatar image


Well, if you are already working and have your own jobs or means of money, I think you should make your own decision of who you want to marry to. Leaving your house or runaway is not a solution, it asks for more trouble later.

I have argued with my parents a lot before simply because they still consider myself as their small child and start respecting my decision when I showed to them my firm decision and my resolve. Runaway definitely are not one of the resolve, and how to show it, depends and differs in each family.

Marriage in Islam provide a simple solution, if you cannot settle with you wife, you can divorce in a proper way, it's a Halal thing that Allah hate (the divorce), so keep that in mind.

On the other hand, zina and adultery are Haram, you know that better than me.

If you want my advice - based on my experience, when you make your decision:-

  • BE FIRM and BELIEVE IN ALLAH. If you cannot find a way out, do some solat ISTIKHARAH, doa's, make your action and TAWAKKAL, so that you do not regret of what will happened after that;
  • don't let other peoples dogma get in your WAY and in your LIFE;
  • take into account the Syariah' when you make your decision;
  • don't 100% follow my advice, DON'T TAKLID with my advice, my life is my life, your life is your life, this is just my guide, make your own decision because it's your problem.

After I have made some plan and took action, I always leave myself and my future to Allah. You can never know what you do is right or wrong unless you cross with Syariah law. It's life but you have to prepare.

Hope that will help you, I'm treating you as a man. Your family remind me of my childhood.

answered 271 Muhammad%20I's gravatar image

Jazakallah brothers for your help. But after doing all this they are sitll not agreeing and hurrying up with the arrangements for marriage wid the other girl in 2months so that I dont try convincing them anymore n when all the arrangements are done n the time is close they would jus tell me that I have to because everything is done even though I keep reminding them that I will not get married or come on that day but they also know that I wont leave the house or runaway so they will jus say a million emotional thing to make me go ahead. I seek forgiveness from allah for my parents n myself for dis wrong action will is taking place but I dont know watelse to b done.

answered 101 usmanalinoaman's gravatar image
Your answer
toggle preview

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text]( "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported



Asked: Sep 21 '13 at 19:02

Seen: 1,032 times

Last updated: Sep 29 '13 at 07:09

Related questions

©1998-2013 Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.