Salaam dear Amirah. I can see how your situation stands at present and for a similitude in experience, I feel for you and want to help you make the right decision.
It IS a major decision facing you.
This has to be thought out all so well, because your life, your happiness and your inner contentment are at stake here.
I fully understand your dilemma and the choices you are facing.
Make it a good choice Amirah, for you want to be happy. I am saying, happy in ALL aspects of your life....this is important.
Of course you know surah Al Fatiha. Why do we recite it at the minimum 17 times a day?
Look at this line in BOLD:
In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds:
The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful:
Owner of the Day of Judgement.
Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) was ask for help.
*Show us the straight path:*
The path of those whom Thou hast favoured; Not (the path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray.
You are seeking this STRAIGHT path because your heart wants it. You are feeling this overwhelming dilemma because you want what is good for your soul but you have the option of going in a different direction.
This happiness that you presently see with your future partner, this is what you need to look at more closely.
Let’s look at LOVE. You know that it is felt most intensely for another person when initially in the relationship and when one is young. Then it becomes a comfortable, contented feeling....that immense passion becomes more stable and it isn’t crazy love any more. Life, without a doubt will bring its high and its lows. When life is good, well one can manage it on one’s own; hey it’s good so we are naturally happy. When life brings its lows of varying degrees, as it does to each and every one of us, then we tend to spend more time looking at our situation and need and seek out support.
Who else can give you that support but your Lord Alaah Almighty SWT. He will give support whenever His slave turns to Him for He says:
"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him. He will make a way for him to get out (from) every (difficulty), and He will provide him from
(sources) he could never imagine." (Qur'an, 65:2-3)
Naturally, in life we also turn to our partners as that is one of the support mechanisms of marriage, to support each other through good and bad. If you cannot share your belief system with your partner and together seek the help for both of you from that very same source, the one and only source, ie Alaah SWT, then, how will you achieve happiness? How will you be content?
I have read both of your questions.
Your second question carries a hint of scepticism with it. I understand this feeling. But rise above it. You are not weighing up happiness against religion. No, it’s much more than that.
This I can tell you: Your happiness with your partner is not a sure thing. It may be OR it may not be that at all.
YOUR happiness with Alaah SWT on the other hand, IS a sure thing.
And a partner that you can share your thoughts about Islam with is worth gold. You will speak the ‘same language’ and carry same values and understandings. Raising children in Islam won’t be an issue. A multitude of things will be easy. Do you wish to have an easier, blessed life or one of a struggle?
'God desires ease for you, and desires not hardship' (2:185)
What do you wish to choose for yourself?
Speak with your partner. In the event that he shows even a hint of accepting Alaah SWT then go in that direction BUT make sure that your partner has accepted Islam and is practising from the heart PRIOR to marriage.
If not, do you have the strength to choose that STRAIGHT path to walk closer towards Alaah SWT or will you go for the non-believing partner?
To me, the answer is simple and it should be for you as well.
Have a look at this:
(9:23) O ye who believe! Choose not your fathers nor your brethren for friends if they take pleasure in disbelief rather than faith. Whoso of you takes them for friends, such are wrong-doers.
If Alaah SWT tells us not to take our very own disbelieving family for friends, then how about choosing a disbelieving partner for a husband?
There are so many implications in being with a non-believer. A non-believer is the furthest one can be from Alaah SWT.
I truly wish you all the best in your decision and may Alaah SWT guide you through this and bless your chosen journey in Islam.