Assalamualaikum, i am a muslim male 23, i met a girl(23) in my university who was japanese, i used to teach her english and we fell in love.Actually i can speak fluent japanese because ive been living there for 10 years.Now we want to marry each other, but there is a problem.She is ready to convert to islam,but that is, i think because she wants to marry me,however, as a muslim i want her to believe in it properly.At first i thought,like my mother who converted before marrying, things can go well,u know like at first my mother i think wasnt believing in the religion, i guess she converted because she wanted to marry dad, but then she started believing as the people around her practised islam and she studied it properly, which indeed took alot of time.But now ,when i talked to my parents ,they feel its better to marry someone who is already a muslim because it is indeed very difficult to teach someone like the girl who is from japan where the culture is totally different from islam's.It will also affect the upbringing of our children ,as we say that children learn from their mother.In my opinion marrying her is not a problem as i believe i will teach islam to her and my future kids properly because i love them and i would never want them to be near the wrong way.I really really love her and want to marry her, but to be honest, there is a doubt that she might not believe in islam and might pretend that she believes in it just to marry me and even after that she might pretend, however i want her to believe caus i know islam is the truth and if she doesnot believe then i wont be able to meet her in jannah.Im afraid she will fall into pieces because islam restricts alot of stuff like eating halal food only and to pray five times a day etc.I actually dont know what to do, i know that whatever my parents are saying is logical,and i know that i never want to leave this girl,really, i dont want to leave her, im making dua everyday and night asking Allah to give her hidayah as she is a typical japanese girl who has completely different ideology from muslims , but she has a good heart and she is kind and caring. Im thinking to tell her these stuff openly that i want her to believe in it ,but im afraid she is going to marry me converting but after that she will neglect islam, im also afraid she will leave me.I love her so i dont want myself to pressurize her to pray or practise islam, so i want her to naturally believe in it. i really dont know what to do, one thing i know is i will never leave her, i have no intention to leave her and i want to teach purity of this religion to her although it might be very difficult. Please guide me what to do,what can i try to do,how can i make her believe in islam, how can i convince my parents.

asked 101 yessir's gravatar image

Konnichiwa (al salaamou alaikum) brother, hajime mashita! douzo yoroshiku onegai shimassu :)

I have the same experience as my wife is a Japanese who converted to Islam. elhamdoulellah!

You know Japanese are acting as how muslims should act but just they did not testify the shahada.. while many muslims testified the shahada and act as non-muslims. sad but true! I think you will need to be a good example/model for her and I do not know if pushing is better or not better.

since for my case in the beginning my wife was praying and taking lessons and learning to recite surah of Quran and then she stop. I did not push on her at all, just I keep reminding her from time to time without forcing her, and elhamdoulellah she started again praying now and fasting Ramaddan.. and how nice when I hear her reciting Quran while praying! always bring tears to my eyes.. it is a great gift from Allah, may Allah keep it and bless/(increase its good) to me in it.

while I know some other japanese converts, who were in the beginning putting hijab and after 2 or 3 years removed it.

for your knowledge Japanese are put under pressure since their day one, and if you do not press on them they will press on you.. and at last she will be ruling the house and you will just follow.. but regarding Islam you should be a good example to her and let her be convinced very much with her decision and what is after it.. and let her know that she have to be a good model for your children inshaaAllah... etcetera

will you live together in japan or somewhere else? Good luck, please pray salaah al istikhara before marrying her.. and make every thing clear to her before marriage.. give her time to be convinced by Islam because it is the truth and not because marrying you. May Allah open her heart for to see the light of Allah and respond with Iman and good deeds. Saalam alaikum (mata ne)

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answered 377116 inclined2truth's gravatar image

thanku for ur reply, now i think i should tell her about my religion and that i want her to follow it,im thinking to marry her after 2 or 3 years because my studies would be over at that time and i will have a good job(Inshallah),i will ask her to study islam until we marry,however the problem is now she went back to japan and she is continuing with her work,she is busy and its difficult to know whether she will utilise her time in studying my religion.please advise me how to teach her islam without her getting uncomfortable.

(Oct 21 '13 at 22:31) yessir yessir's gravatar image

Japan is very busy country as you know, and they have a lot of stress/loads/pressure of someone above them whether in work or home.. It will not be easy for her to learn about Islam in Japan except if she made double efforts and read books and ask questions and reflect..etc.and the life style therein is very materialistic.. work/work.. money/money..programmed some how and their rhythm is very speedy and they have to keep walking/working with the same speed to not fall.I agree with you to give her a time 2 or 3 years, and do not push on her. and may Allah choose for you which is better for you.

(Oct 23 '13 at 20:22) inclined2truth inclined2truth's gravatar image

Asalam o alaikum brother, It might be an idea, that she reverts to Islam first, and let her settle into it for a while, before marrying her. Introduce her to some sisters, and let her find her way and learn from other sisters, aswell. Your parents maybe skeptical, for good reasons. But they are showing fear. You are of an age whereby, all or nothing and love is so intense. So use your wisdom and knowledge, and be there as a comfort and support. InshaAllah your girlfriend will revert. May Allah show you wisdom and bless you both.

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answered 3387 abyadgirl's gravatar image

my advice, let her firstly practice Islaam

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answered 87218 TeenMuslim's gravatar image
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Asked: Oct 21 '13 at 12:16

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Last updated: Oct 30 '13 at 11:01


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