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Aslam O Alikum, I'm confused what to do in my life. I'm totally feed up from this every day tensions. I needed your help and guide. I'm 28 girl. I want to marry a boy. He likes me and I like him. His family totally agree and only my mum is agree but my brothers and eldest brother wife is not agree for my marriage. My dad pass away 10 years ago. My eldest brother want me to marry with my bhabi brother, but I don't want marry him and also my mum told them 5 years ago, we not marry her daughter to your brother. But Last 6 months bhabhi making trouble with my brother and fight with him, and last 2 month she start more trouble with my brothers, mum and me. She saying I have to marry to her brother or she want divorce from my brother even she have 2 children. I want to tell you she live in Canada with my brother with 2 children and we live all family in Pakistan but she still not happy and make trouble in our family. Two weeks ago she send her mum, dad and brother in our home and they asking my hand from my mum but my mum said I told you long time ago we don't want to give my hand to your son and also I not agree for this marriage. My brother wife start making trouble and fight with my mum and brother. I went to my cousin home and she phones me why you left home and my family in your home and you staying your cousin. I told her my mum say to go and stay with cousin. But she starts fight with my brother and saying give me divorce now and in fight he give her divorce. Then she starts crying saying sorry every one for 2 or 3 days. My mum went to some scholars for this divorce happen or not they told she is divorce now and can't stay with my brother anymore. The only way they re-marry if she do Halala. Now everyone blaming me even my mum as well. Now she put term again if I marry to her brother then she can do Halala. Now everyone put pressure on me to marry her brother.
I'm really very in tension and worry so much no one understand me and listen to me. The boy I like he good boy and do prayer five times a day and belongs to good family. Need to tell you my brothers not agree because they saying the boy is out of our cast we never give your hand out of family. Please tell me what is good and what should I do in the light of Quraan & Sunnah. What is the right path to choose?

asked 10 Zainab1's gravatar image

This is a toughie. But there was another guy who had the exact same problem as you. you should realize that no calamity befalls a person except because of sin, and it cannot be lifted except by repentance. Despite all the hardship you are facing and the intense pain you are feeling, you still have to think about the root of the problem and understand the shar’ia ruling on it and learn a lesson from what has happened. Allah says:

“… whatever evil befalls you, it is from yourself…”

[al-Nisa’ 4:79] Also, you need to explain to them how you feel. You need to try and persuade them, and ask them if they really want you to live life unhappy with someone you do not love. Tell them you will never forgive them if they force you to do this. Your brother's wife obviously wants you to do this just so her brother can be happy, but what about you? You need to communicate and just try. There's no point in marrying someone you don't love.

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Asked: Oct 22 '13 at 17:54

Seen: 518 times

Last updated: Oct 24 '13 at 14:00



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