Assalamou alaykoum wa rahmatou Allah,

I am a sister who decided to marry a man because I found in him what I thought at the time was impossible to find in another man so I gave up everything (my original country, job, family, money...) to be with him. We got married and I discovered the aggressive side of my husband but decided to deal with it because I loved him. I also had to live with his sister and accepted to not change anything at home to not touch her feelings (I was asked by my husband so I pleased him) and also found taweez at home but never say anything until we fought because of her. Anyways, later on the sister moved out but promised to "burn me". So she was always telling her mom that her brother forgot about her and that I was to blame... so the mom was calling my husband yelling and threatening him to not have her Reza. My mom came to visit me on Ramadahan from my country, she stayed in a troubled home because of all the fights. I even decided to go see a raqui to see if it is because of sihr, I was burping a lot and having red marks on my skin after every time I see the Imam. I started to pray and ask Allah for help but my husband stopped praying and preferred to spend time playing or meeting friends despite I was in need of him. On laylat Al Qadr he just told me that he can't live like this anymore because I reject his friends (because I refused to go with him to a Playstation party because I preferred to go to the mosque with my mom) and also his family (he has received a phone call from his mom saying that he forgot about his family again!!). He just told me that he wants me out of his life and even refused to eat with us al Iftar. So we went my mom and I to the mosque and stayed there for the whole evening, he never asked about us. My mom told him that we are not going to force ourselves on him and that if he doesn't want me anymore he first has to take some time and then make up his mind. We went to the hotel for 2 days, time for us to calm down, and 2 days before El Eid I decided to talk to him to calm down things. He just told me that he won't be available for me and that if I want to say something I have to talk to my mom and then she will call his mom... My mom refused to interfere in this so I went to home the day after and I regretted if. I found him leaving his ring at home and went to the beach for the whole weekend like a bachelor. I just decided to pack my stuff and leave. He never tried to contact me or even his family, but his mom was calling my family to ask them to tell me that I have to return back the car and my phone to her son. That's all I was for them, money. My mom and I stayed at the mosque for a while homeless and then with friends... on our anniversary he just sent me the separation papers waiving all my rights. He did not even give me an Islamic divorce. I wrote him a letter but never replied back... I am doing salat al isstikhara everyday to ask Allah for the best. I am here in this country by myself, no job, no home, no papers... and no love from the one who promised to do everything for me. I don't even know if I am islamically divorced, it has been 3 months now that I am in this situation, no contact between us, he doesn't even know if I am still alive... I don't know what should I do. I lost my marriage but I don't want live with the burdeen of my divorce because Yawm al Quiyama I will be asked to answer to these questions and I fear Allah. I love my husband but I don't like the fact that he drinks, loves to go out and don't pray also his family believe in black magic and taweez Allah guide themJazakoum Allah khayrane

asked 10 Salsabil's gravatar image

You need to find out if you husband is muslim or not. If you wish to divorce him, talk about it to your local imam and find out your option.

You see this is the problem sister... you can easily go to your local mosque and speak to an imam about this by setting an appointments. He will listen to you in a halal way.

CALL YOUR LOCAL MOSQUE AND ASK FOR AN APPOINTMENT. IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. THE IMAM WILL MAKE CONDITION UPON YOU HUSBAN AND IF HE DOES NOT FOLLOW HE WILL PROCEED FOR A DIVORCE CASE AND WHAT I HAVE SAID WRONG: ALLAH KNOW BEST.

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answered 556 Abas1204's gravatar image

Jazaka Allah khayrane. He is muslim and we got married in a muslim way back in my country but once here he wants to apply the western way of divorce. I sent an email to the Imam and asked him to help me, I am waiting for his answer. I can't go anywhere (left without a car), I am just living with a friend in another city... thank you for the answer brother in Islam

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answered 10 Salsabil's gravatar image
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Asked: Oct 25 '13 at 18:06

Seen: 584 times

Last updated: Oct 25 '13 at 20:43


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