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I have both recently taken my Shahada and recently gotten married with a born Muslim. My parents and friends, who are non-Muslim, do not entirely accept nor understand my marriage. For my husband, this is exceptionally hard to swallow because he believes he should be honored for being the respectable and loving husband he is. Since there is a clash in religion and culture between my husband and my parents/friends, etc. it has left me in a tug-of-war match with everyone. I don't know how to confront the situation in an Islamic manner!

My parents say that I married too long and too quickly. My friends say he is using me, and most of my family have their own ideas of Islam in general- being pro-dominantly Roman Catholic and Christian Orthodox themselves.

With all of this hate and negativity aimed towards my marriage, my husband OFTEN gets upset with me. He'll regularly say that I flirt and make eye contact with strangers and his friends alike, even though I have never done such. He justifies his accusations by saying that I am being "brain-washed" to cheat on him, etc., by my parents because they hate him.

It is an especially troubling time because my Father just came back from an extended vacation, which before he did, my husband and I were living at my parent's home with my Mother. My Father said that I could live at home, however, my husband, who he has never met, cannot. (We would move to our own place, like we had before we had to move in with my Mother, however our finances are extremely tight.)

I believe I may be pregnant as well, which I am beyond delighted about. However, sadly, I am alone most of the time- left to deal with my overly negative parents at home and my indicter of a husband.

My situation overall is depressing me to a great extent. I do not know how to convince my parents, friends and family that my husband, Mash'Allah, is a wonderful husband, proper man, and the love of my life. And I don't know how to continue to convince and remind my husband that Jinn (and possible paid Black Magic) are truly what push him to endlessly accuse me of flirting, etc., with other men.

Please advise me in ways to deal with this situation(s) in an Islamic manner. Thank you!

asked 152 Fatima212's gravatar image

Salamou 3alaikoum, sisters! I very much appreciate your words of wisdom. Alhamdillah', even since yesterday I have felt an immense difference after following the advice given. During hard times we often, and easily forget to remember Allah and seek his mercy.

May Allah reward you greatly for your responses.

answered 152 Fatima212's gravatar image

Elhamdoulellah, our Lord is hearing the Du'aa/supplication and quick in response (if He will)

"Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire." (2:201)

Rabbana atena fid-dounya hassanatan wa fil-akhera-ti hassanatan wa quena 3azab an-naar.

(Oct 31 '13 at 18:20) inclined2truth inclined2truth's gravatar image

Salam sister please visit website: Inshallah you will find info and how to address your problem.

May Allah have mercy .ameen

answered 1528 Faisal26's gravatar image

Congratulation sister!! Mabrook/blessed (May Allah increase to you from the good in your Islam and in your marriage) elhamdoulellah sister, it seems to me that your husband is loving you so much and he is jealous in a good way about you, forgive him and keep respecting his feeling(of worry that any harm attach you).

regarding your parents, I think you will convince them with your and your husband's action, not by words. even if they refuse to meet him, do not let him prevent from visiting and being doing good to them(as long as they do not order you to disobey Allah).. and ask Allah for help, He is near, hearing replier who respond to your supplication.. may He choose for you which is best.. and may he let you be independent from anyone except Him, sufficient is Him for His servant.

Only Allah can remove this hardship that you are facing.. do not think too much about black magic because it will never harm you except if Allah permitted it. read the last three sourah of Quran three times per day and night and Ayat el kursi also continuously and rely on Allah He is the best disposer of affair.

May Allah show you the good and ease in the hardship that you and your husband are facing and may He relief all your worries(after you succeed in the trial, and learn the lesson.. knowing that it might be that something seems bad and we dislike while it is good for us, and vice versa it might be that we like something while it is bad for us, and Allah knows and we do not know.. always seek refuge in Allah from satan, because he always promise the poverty, while Allah promises a forgiveness from Him and favours.

"Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality, while Allāh promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allāh is all-Encompassing and Knowing." (2:268)

Good luck and may we hear a good news about you soon, in-shaa-Allah/by Allah's will.

answered 387116 inclined2truth's gravatar image

Salam is saying good luck shirk? Salaam

(Oct 30 '13 at 01:02) sadie ♦ sadie's gravatar image

wa 3alaikum el salaam wa ra7matoullahi ta3ala wa barakatouh sister Sadie, No it is not shirk as long as the intention is that the luck is from Allah. luck by the meaning of success (or chance or reconcile).. as we believe all luck is from Allah ta3ala.

same as we say "the sun rise" if we mean it is Allah who let/cause it to rise then it is not shirk.. but if we thought the sun (without Allah's power) has the power to rise or to set then it is shirk.

and Allah knows better, wa assalaamou alaikum

(Oct 30 '13 at 19:29) inclined2truth inclined2truth's gravatar image

@inclined2truth,Brother this statement is in a gray area for the word luck is not like saying ma shallah. Which would have been better to use. For the use of the word luck is the word of the mushrik. Did the Rasul say this word or abscribe to the concept you presented? Ones deeds are only accepted if two things are present. One it must be fisabillah and second it must be done with the itteebah of the Rasul saws. Anyother way is not islam nor will it be accepted though one intends good. Sura 18:103-104. The reminder profits the believers. Salaam

(Oct 30 '13 at 21:58) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

wa alaikum el salaam brother yaqeen!the meaning of the word is important. for example arab Christian will say "Allah" and they mean Jesus and we say Allah the lord of the worlds

good luck means exactly as saying "may Allah destine the good for you." or "may Allah decree for you a good chance" or "may Allah help you to succeed". what is wrong with this word brother, is it because in English or because the mushrik use it? " And my success is not but through Allāh. Upon him I have relied, and to Him I return."(11:88) wama tawfiqui ella bellah

for the verse 18:103 it can apply on the extreme too

(Oct 30 '13 at 22:46) inclined2truth inclined2truth's gravatar image

Beloved I humbly ask again did the Rasul pass on good tidings in this way? I do understand what you implied when you used it, but the wrong or right of it would come from the answer to the question I asked. The english definition to this word is what we must base our stance off of. Also keep in mind that the Rasul feared most about shirk al khafi for his ummah. Salaam

(Oct 31 '13 at 00:01) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

I am in agreement with Yaqin on this word luck. Since reverting to Islam, this word has no meaning for me and certainly does not comprise of being an Islamic vocation. It is better to say, inshaAllah, this is the islamic version, the more appropriate way. Luck, can have conigtations for the recipient, that the sender may not be applying.Luck can not not be termed in any way other than, Luck,good luck (fortune), that of a description of shirk.

(Oct 31 '13 at 04:14) abyadgirl abyadgirl's gravatar image

hidden Shirk was defined by prophet Muhammad salla Allahou 3alayhi wa sallam that it is the Riyaa/showy, like doing the good deed to show/please people (for example decorate his praying for that the people say he is praying well).. because Allah is high above having any partner or to associate with him any.. and if the good deed is not pure for Him(His face of jalal and Ikram) then He will not accept it. that is the hidden shirk.

nothing wrong with doing good duaa and wishing good luck/success/day/night or being optimism (opposite of omen) as advised by prophet Muhammad.

(Oct 31 '13 at 18:06) inclined2truth inclined2truth's gravatar image

the general rule is "la 7awla wala qowwata illa bellah" = there is no power nor circumstance except by Allah. This is for everything. for example the fire does not have the power to burn but is Allah who let is burn and if he will He will let it be cold and peace as He did with Ibrahim(3alayhi el salaam).

if we think anything has the power to harm or benefit without Allah's will/permission/power is shirk.. even if you say "I am" and think you can do something without Allah will is shirk.. in fact the truth no one should say "I am" except Allah.

and Allah knows better!

(Oct 31 '13 at 18:11) inclined2truth inclined2truth's gravatar image
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Asked: Oct 29 '13 at 16:19

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Last updated: Oct 31 '13 at 18:20

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