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Salaam many times I hear muslim men claim that men are superior to women I want the proof for this statement or proof against it.

asked 8331147 yaqin's gravatar image

Most males have taken this ayah 4:34 and used it to abuse women and this is not what Allah azza wal jall had ment in this ayah. What I'm going to do is break the haqq down into segments , for the information is vast and i want you all to get a clear understanding inshallah. The first misconception we must deal with is, "Men are Qawwamuna over women." (sura 4:34inpart Now let's deal with the arabic word qawwanuna, The root of the key word Qawwanuna,which is the plural of qawwam, is Qama, which means: "To stand or to make something stand or to establish something. A related word is Qa'im which means: " One who stands or makes something stand." So basically it means, one who is continuously standing over, a guard, a caretaker, to make something stand as supporting it. In the Qur'an the usage of qawwam and related words always presents an idea of propriety, for example: Aqamah of salah is not only praying but also praying properly. Also, Allah azza wal jall , has stated in the Qur'an in 5:8 and 4:135, " O you who believe, be qawwamin with fairness." and " O you who believe, be qawwamin for Allah as witness to fairness. to be Qawwam over something or someone is to guard, maintain or takecare of that something or someone in a proper and fair manner. The best english word to describe what Allah has said would be guardian.

Now allow me to show you what shaykh Muhammad Abdul Haleem said on this topic: In arabic lexicography,the expression qama ala means merely, " Maintain her and attend to her affairs. The hadith also elucidates the meaning of qawwama at the time of the Rasul saws. A companion of the Rasul saws explains that he chose to marry an older experienced woman because he had young orphaned sisters and he wanted a woman, " taqumu alayhinna" and to gather them and comb their hair."( reported by Jabir bin Abdallah) Thus to be qawwam over something or some isto guard, maintain or takecare of that something or someone in a proper and fair manner. The word denotes no superiority but responsibility. RESPONSIBILITY IS NOT SUPERIORITY! A correct and accurate translation of Qawwamoona AAala alnnisa, therefore would be, " Men are the protectors and maintainers of women." A husband has the responsibility of taking care of his wife, protecting her, defending her honor, and fulfilling her needs regarding religion and her worldly life. It does not mean-as all too many people have falsely assumed-that he has the right to behave obstinately towards her, compel her, subject her to his will, suppress her individuality, and thus heinously negate her identity. His status as a protector and maintainer is pure responsibility, pure liability, and not so much a position of authority. It requires from him that he uses his good sense, thinks carefully about what he does, and exercises PATIENCE. It means that he cannot be hasty and offhanded in his decisions. The muslim woman is a believer and Allah tells us in the qur'an in sura 42:38, that the believers handle their affairs by mutual shura consultation.

Beloved sisters and brothers the qur'an describes the believers as those who affairs are conducted by consultation. This is a general and permanent description that was revealed in Mecca before political life was started in Medina. Naturally it applies to the most basic social unit, the family. Islam emphasizes the importance of taking counsel and mutual agreement in family decisions and affairs. Allah gives us an example in sura 2:233. Reported Abu Hurayra the Rasul said: The most perfect of the believers in their belief are those with the best manners, and the best of you are those who are best with there wives.

Reported by Jariyah bin Wahab Khazad and Abu Da'tid the Rasul said: Allah detests the ja'zari Al Jawwaz, that is, one who is harsh towards his family and who is arrogant."

Therefore sisters and brothers, a man must be always kind and fair to his wife, he must be Qawwam, over the family in a proper and fair manner. Allah knows best. Salaam

answered 1.6k315 sadie's gravatar image

"RESPONSIBILITY IS NOT SUPERIORITY!" well they are two different word with different meanings. but if you say a man has the responibility for the actions of a woman, must guard her against whatever he feels he should. you must therefore give him authority over her. there by making him superior. he can limit her movement. tell her that she can't go to work, can't travel alone, etc.etc. the ceo of a corpuration is superior to the cfo who is superior to the controller who is superior to the mid-level accountant. clearly in islam the man is considered superior. he has dominion over the woman.

(Oct 31 '13 at 16:45) mikejm mikejm's gravatar image

Mike thats not so but it is this same mindset that has muslims doing the things you mentioned, and you are not muslim so we know it is not an Islamic concept. In this responsibility he must be fair and he must adhere to the quran and authenticated sunnah. Nowhere in the sunnah does it say that a woman must stay in the house, the Rasul's wives were told to do such not the rest of the women. Out ofbrespect she should inform her husband about her whereabouts, and he in being should not stop here as ling as where she is going doesnot jepodize her life or islam. Men are not superior to women

(Oct 31 '13 at 17:52) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

as stronghold has pointed out so clearly. Salaam

(Oct 31 '13 at 17:53) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

Islam considers a woman to be equal to a man as a human being and as his life partner. Women have been created with a soul of the same nature as that of a man.

Allah SWT says in the Quran:

‘O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.’ (4:1)

‘It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created for him his wife (Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her…’ ( 7:189)

‘…And live with them honorably…’ ( 4:19)

’. the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they ...’(9:71)

This means that a wife and a husband are meant for mutual support, mutual comfort, and mutual protection of each other.

And in the words of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW):

"Assuredly, women are the twin halves of men." (Sahih reported by Abu-Dawud RA)

In Islam, women have the right to be maintained by their husbands.

Allah SWT says:

‘Men are the maintainers of woman because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend of their wealth (for the support of woman).’ (4:34)

Islam has provided guidelines that determine the relationship between the husband and the wife so as to create a strong and wholesome society as a whole. The husband and wife relationship should be based on love and compassion in order to create a whole and complete bond to make both find comfort in one another.

As a result both should find peace, love, respect, support and tranquillity in their lives. By creating a healthy bond based on these qualities, they are able to model to their children the kind of life behaviours which will be adopted and applied during each subsequent generation.

The moral responsibility of this modelling of a healthy husband/wife relationship is hig h and it cannot be achieved by a man who does not defend his wife’s honor or a man who has little or no regard or respect. Sadly, some men only model the incorrect type of behaviours to their children and do not adhere to that which Allah SWT has ordered them to do.

The husband needs to UNDERSTAND that he has the greater responsibility of taking care of his wife by protecting her, fulfilling her religious needs and worldly life.

In many other parts of the Quran, Allah SWT informs us and guides us as to the best behaviours of men.

A man’s wife is an extension of himself, for what he finds appealing in her is that which he can relate to in his own character. A man chooses his wife with his own free will. And when one chooses a wife, it is an informed decision. This action(of choosing) in itself is an announcement declaring that the woman chosen is of a fine enough character for him to choose her as his wife, a life partner. He chooses her for the many qualities that he sees in her that are appealing, endearing, likeable and positive.

Any condescending ill treatment of a wife really shows the ungrateful and arrogant character of the man TOWARDS Allah SWT.

For Allah SWT says:

"And among His signs is this: He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (30:21)

Ill treatment of a wife also shows the SHORTCOMINGS of the man, for he is now indicating that he is unable to appreciate good things that Allah SWT has created.

A note to all men out there who do not treat their wives with kindness and respect:

What you should ask yourselves is this:

Do you wish for your fathers to treat your mothers with kindness, respect and love?

Without a doubt, most of us will answer with a ‘Yes’.

But stop and think:

Do you do the same towards the mother of your children? For your children would also answer with a ‘Yes’ if asked this question.

Finally, a bond between a husband and wife can only be strengthened through worship of Allah SWT.

All men and women need to strive to work on improving those aspects of their character and lives which leave room for improvement and this cannot be achieved without Allah SWT’s help.

‘So know that there is no god but Allah, and, ask protection for your fault and for the believing men and the believing women; and Allah knows the place of your returning and the place of your abiding.’ (47:19)


answered 5287 stronghold's gravatar image

"Allah has made some of them to excel" so who excels who?

(Oct 31 '13 at 16:51) mikejm mikejm's gravatar image

Thats in knowledge mike...

(Oct 31 '13 at 17:54) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

ok. so can a woman excel a man in knowledge? and if so then shouldn't she be incharge? is that what taqwa is? knowledge, or piety?

elle, an american muslim, once told me that men are religiously superior because they pray more (u know because of that whole "uncleanliness" thing the women got going). is that taqwa?

"and because they spend of their wealth" so if the woman financially supports the family, does she get to be incharge?

you haven't gotten kindergarten enough for me. i'm still confused?

and why the two women to replace one man?????

(Oct 31 '13 at 18:15) mikejm mikejm's gravatar image

Mike there are plenty of woman I know that are way smarter than many men I know. Now can she lead men in prayer. No and the reason is men for have a habit if thinking of sex first and foremost when it comes to woman. If a woman speaks to us nicely most of us take the wrong way this is one the reasons why Allah has ordered the Rasuls wives to harden their voice when they talk to muslim men. If a muslim woman is wealthy and she has a buisness yes she is and can be in charged of men but in religious settings this can not happen for the couple of reasons I stated. Salaam

(Oct 31 '13 at 18:42) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

"reason is men for have a habit if thinking of sex first and foremost when it comes to woman" i guess you haven't seen a picture of the lesbian bishop in the american angelican church? but seriously did you just say the woman is limited to her roles in society because of men's inability to control their thoughts and perhaps actions?

a morrocan invited me to his mosque yesterday. he said 1:30 friday. is that the big pray. should be interesting. i'll see if i can't find some inteligent women to ask this question of.

anyway, got to go, pagans at the door.

(Oct 31 '13 at 18:59) mikejm mikejm's gravatar image

Mike you are crazy man lol, you keep me laughing.

(Oct 31 '13 at 19:20) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

they keep the women behind a wall in the back. too bad. so why two women to replace one man? shouldn't you decide who is inchage by who as the better ability to lead? not by anatomical differances?

did anyone see the news outta germany today. allowing parents not to fill in the sex on birth certificates. what does islam say a hermaphredite should do? or is? in the past western countries usually gender assigned them to female. easier to take things off i guess? what say the all-knowing religion of islam?

anyone know the famous case of the canadian boy who had a botched circumcision?

(Nov 01 '13 at 17:58) mikejm mikejm's gravatar image
showing 5 of 7 show all

These are some very long quotes. The Answer is simple. Allah says "the most honourable of you in the eyes of Allah is the one who has most Taqwa".

It doesn't matter man or woman, black or white superiority is all bases on Iman and Taqwa.

Hope that helps.

answered 1528 Faisal26's gravatar image

@Faisal26, what you said is the haqq, no doubt, but what you must take into account is the fact this simple concept that you pointedout is not being adhered to. You see the proof of this on this site all the time from Muslims and definitly non muslims such as Mike. The mistreatment of woman is a weapon he has and uses in his arsenol. Nobody as of yet has broken the haqq down to a kindergarden level where anyone can understand what Allah has stated in the quran, then the sister sadie. And the brother stronghold backed it up with further proof with clear knowledge. More muslim men on this site need to read the two qoutes than teach it to others, than what you posted which is simple would be that upon a sound foundation, because right now in islam what the three of you have stated which is the haqq is not being adhere too, may Allah reward all three of you for your post. Salaam

answered 8331147 yaqin's gravatar image

funny i was delivering a bounce house to a school last week and they had mispelled kindergarden too. makes seen, where kids grow but it's a german word. kindergarten. god knows i can't spell, sorry allah knows, so i don't normally correct other's spelling but i just found it funny. you have spoken the truth. but that weapon is an easy one to use. the real problem is not those who "misuse" their standing. the real problem is the blanket concept of giving them that standing by virtue of nothing more than their gender. one should earn their postion, not inherit it. glided cage is still a cage.

(Oct 31 '13 at 16:59) mikejm mikejm's gravatar image

Yeah thatbis funny mike thanks for the lesson

(Nov 04 '13 at 09:21) yaqin ♦ yaqin's gravatar image

no problem. german doesn't always make sense. then again many things often don't make sense. so why 2 to replace 1?

(Nov 04 '13 at 14:05) mikejm2 mikejm2's gravatar image

Men think they are smarter better than women, when it is actually not so. They have shown time and again that they are not Just because some men are physically stronger than women so they have the idea that they are more intelligent than women

the world would not look the way it does if men did not exist, these are facts

men will always think they are superior as it has always been but the fact is that they are inferior to the way they are and how they behave

men do terrible things women do not, hmm then you wonder Where did the their cleverness the way

Men and women are different, both in appearance and thinking, all are strong in itt way physically and mentally, no one is better than the other

Never accept that a man must decide how you will live and look down on you and think that he is superior, then you show him that what he does is right and is under his feet the rest of your life.

answered 515 Meriam's gravatar image

some men are smarter than women. and some women are smarter than men. superiority, responsibility, authority amoung adults should be earned. not predetermined by what's between your legs.

when fighting monsters, one must take care not to become the monster they fight.

(Oct 31 '13 at 17:02) mikejm mikejm's gravatar image

Could not have said it better myself

(Nov 01 '13 at 03:18) Meriam Meriam's gravatar image

Mike as ive already posted the only superiority between men and women in the I of god is the one who has the most taqwaa so that's all it is I hope you understand this

answered 1528 Faisal26's gravatar image

so why 2 to replace 1?

(Nov 04 '13 at 14:05) mikejm2 mikejm2's gravatar image

That said the men are men, women have always been oppressed creatures and the funny thing is that it is thanks to her world exists because of the woman do not care to feed kids so the world had stopped, because people die every day so it needed new kids every day

I 'm not saying that Islam oppresses women, but Muslims , men generally oppresses women and that is where the problem is

Thus shall ye say that no one will treat you like crap , because you are both equally worthy.

When I was little , I used to hear that the girl is weak, she'll take care of the kids, take care of home, etc. while the boy gives you great self-esteem that he is a MAN , he can do whatever he wants , everything is possible for him , girls cry but boys do not cry . Even at that age have been made so that the girl feel hopeless and powerless and think it is ok and that is as it should be.

The men will always think they know what is best. The men must always stand on the street and skricka, talking loudly, comes when he wants while the woman should be at home, always be nice, do not talk out loud. If a girl has sex with other men, she is a whore, but if a man does the same thing he is not is because he is a MAN.

I'm just saying this is how we live in a male dominated world and this is the result we are seeing right now, just check around on you, if you are smart and use your common sense and you'll see this but otherwise ... blame yourself!

answered 515 Meriam's gravatar image
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Asked: Oct 31 '13 at 02:02

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Last updated: Nov 04 '13 at 14:05

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