I am very depressed and feel like committing suicide. I am a Muslim. I feel like life has no meaning and feel like questioning the existence of God. I feel like God doesn't care and just wants to make my life a living hell. I apologize if what I am saying is against the rules because I had no time to read. So I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me if I said anything wrong. I really feel like committing suicide, I don't know what I should do, I don't know if God will forgive me for the things I've done.
I pray five times a day, I read the hadith, I try to please God but I find life so difficult. I don't know why God would want to do this to me. God doesn't talk to me or answer my prayers, God seems so harsh and unapproachable, God just seems like he isn't there. And my so-called brothers (and sisters) in Islam aren't much of a help either. I feel like there is not one single human on the face of this planet who can help and understand. I feel like there is no point in living. I might lose my faith any time and just commit suicide.
What can I do?
Once again, sorry if this goes against the rules or offends anyone, I am unable to think clearly at the moment. I just hope I can find help.