Now updated: Islam.com Ramadan calendar - islam.com/salat

Salam, 2 years ago my parents gave me away to a man back home. I was 16 at that time. I spoke to him a few times over the phone and i realized i dont love him or have any feelings for him. Im 18 now. I talked to my parents about not getting married to him and they simply refused because they dont want to tarnish their "name." And i have never seen this man face to face nor have i had anytype of sexual interaction with him. I honestly truly dont want to get married to him. I pray to Allah all the time so that sometype of miracle happens. Please give me some Islamic guidance it will be greatly appreciated. Thank you

asked 101 Lailalovex3's gravatar image

**Mod don't you think this should be post in community site under relationship/marriage/marital issue**

(Nov 24 '13 at 17:44) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

Does it concern you? Im here for islamic advice

(Nov 25 '13 at 16:59) Lailalovex3 Lailalovex3's gravatar image

Assalamu alaikom. i just wanted to say that THE EXACTLY SAME THING happened to me, but in the end i just rebelled and told everybody i didn't want him. My parents got really mad and didn't talk to me for 3 months, but i was the happiest girl on the planet at that time. in islam there's no compulsion, so you should explain this to them, and if they don't understand, then you have to think about yourself, and nobody else. It needs a lot of courage, you just have to find your courage. I also helped a girl a while ago who was in the same situation, and alhamdulillah after a lot of struggle she made it. Please remember that the most valuable things take time and bravery, you have to be brave and rely on Allah, make a lot of du'a because He's the only One who can turn the impossible in possible. i will pray for you sister :) wassalam.

link
answered 204 jannahsick's gravatar image

Keep praying sis, you're doing the right thing there. The 'not wanting to married to a guy you've never met before' thing? Well, the only thing you can do there is try and persuade your parents to cancel this thing. There were two other people here with the same problem as you, and I'll say the same thing to you as I did them. You HAVE to tell them you really don't wanna get married to a guy you've never even met, and ask if they really want you to get married to someone you don't love. Tell them you'll never forgive them for doing this. Ask them if they care more bout themselves and their 'name' than their own daughter. Tell them that this is your life they're messing with here, not a simple action that you just have to go through for a couple of hours. You need to try. Tell them that in Islam, they're not allowed to force you into a marriage. Arranged marriage is one thing, but forcing your kid to do something as big as marry? You really do need to try, cos if you don't, you'll have enough time to regret it whilst you're lying awake next to a man you don't care for.

link
answered 5110 answerer's gravatar image

Yes i understand what you are saying but my father asked me before giving me away and i said yes. I felt like if i said no i would be letting everyone down. So i did it for the sale of everyone. And now my father says you said before so now you cant change your answer. But i pray everyday that i somehow get out of it. Please brother pray for me and keep me in your duas. I really need them. And i try everyday to convince him but now he womt even speak to me about it. He tells my mom and my mom tells me. And i work with my dad too. Why wont he talk to me about it?

(Nov 23 '13 at 09:02) Lailalovex3 Lailalovex3's gravatar image

Tell him you won't ever forgive him, and that people have the right to change their views. That's the beauty of choice.

(Nov 24 '13 at 06:23) answerer answerer's gravatar image

But in Islam you are not supposed to disobey your parents and your parents arent supposed to force anything on their children. Its a bit of a dilemma. But hopefully IN SHA ALLAH everything works out. Ameen

(Nov 24 '13 at 09:49) Lailalovex3 Lailalovex3's gravatar image

My belove sister in islam it also say that parent can't force other to merry someone wher thei. Holden ont want to because bring married is half of your deen and Your life . Sister if I were you I will have told my parent thisn"mom, I do love you and I would respect you with all my heart, I have also said that I wanted to merry him but right now I find out merry into someone isn't a game, dad if I mery him my life will be fill with darkness because i dont have feeling for him.keep on reading my beautiful sister :)

(Nov 24 '13 at 10:28) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

Sister sit with your parent when they are calm and in good mood and talk to them. Sister I will inshallah help you as much as I can. Tell then, what is the point u are marrying him when you don't have feeling for him . If nothing work then talk to the men who want to merry you and tell him that you don't love him and cancel the engagement,cell him how you feel about him and make him aware of the problem you both going to face. Salam

(Nov 24 '13 at 10:36) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

Im too scared to do this.

(Nov 25 '13 at 17:01) Lailalovex3 Lailalovex3's gravatar image

Sister this is the time where you shouldn't be scare of telling your parent about your feeling because when you marry tat brother then your life will be fill with darkness and every day to will be crying and will making bad dua . Get in touch with me in community site and I will help you. Salam

(Nov 26 '13 at 12:30) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image
showing 5 of 7 show all

aww,

tell your mum and dad that you dont love him, and it will just end in a divorce. Tell them it is better that you split up now, rather than after marriage. tell your parents that they can tell the man's family that you are the one who wants to break it up. If worse comes to worst, just tell your future husband that you dont want to marry him, and maybe he will feel the same.

If you still get nowhere, just contact your local imam, or some other close relatives, or some older women you know, and try and get them involved.

wwb

link
answered 1842 mufti%20saab's gravatar image

My whole family is involved as of now. Only my parents wont take my sode but the rest of my family is. I need my parents to be convinced rather than my family but they are still supporting me. I just leave it all to Allah. He knowd best. Just please pray for me!

(Nov 24 '13 at 09:48) Lailalovex3 Lailalovex3's gravatar image

keep working on them, if you dont give up and keep trying and keep praying, they will, inshallah, finally give up.

(Nov 26 '13 at 06:17) mufti saab mufti%20saab's gravatar image

I think marriage is a full commitment issue so you shouldnt go ahead with it,it would lead to cheating and so on.Fight it to the end,never accept.

link
answered 101 Aldertori's gravatar image
-2

Hello my name is Braxton i know a renowned spell caster you can also visit and also send him a message through his mail ORINOKOSOLUTIONTEMPLE1@GMAIL.COM because he helped me when i had issues with my Girlfriend, because we had quarrels and she never wanted me back, if you need the right place to solve your problems ORINOKO SPELL TEMPLE is the right choice. He is a man that has been casting spells now with 24 years experience. He can cast spells for different purposes like. (1)If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3)You want to be promoted in your office. (4)You want women/men to run after you. (5)If you want a child. (6)You want to be rich. (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8)If you need financial assistance. (9)Herbal care Contact Him today on ORINOKOSOLUTIONTEMPLE1@GMAIL.COM Good Luck.

link
answered 14 Moonlightlovespells's gravatar image

Sorry but i will never turn to casting spells on anyone. That is totally unacceptable and haram. I wi do whag the others said like go to my local imam and try to convince my parents. And i will use reasons from Islam to convince them. Thank you !

(Nov 24 '13 at 09:46) Lailalovex3 Lailalovex3's gravatar image

Is that meant to be a joke?

(Nov 25 '13 at 12:16) answerer answerer's gravatar image

That is so haram,you will go to hell.Your forcing upon humans and playing with their feelings.I seriously think that thats digusting and not the teachings of islam,i feel sorry for ur girlfriend,she dosnt love u for real,u forced it upon her.Didnt u know that type of magic is a home wrecker to many ? God plz send them all to everlasting hell.What a joke.I hope no one ever takes ur advice.Because its haram and rubbish just like the way u handle stuff instead of seeking guidance from God ane learning to let go.

(Dec 21 '13 at 05:10) Aldertori Aldertori's gravatar image
Your answer
toggle preview

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or __italic__
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text](http://url.com/ "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Tags:

×298

Asked: Nov 22 '13 at 10:12

Seen: 1,282 times

Last updated: Dec 21 '13 at 05:10



©1998-2013 Islam.com Publications and Research.       All Rights Reserved.