if not, does the first wife have any right to refuse the husband taking second wife? or a particular woman as a wife?

asked (suspended) mikejm3's gravatar image

You should be asking yourself if you can fulfill the rights of 2 wives before deciding to take 2. Allah says, فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً (if you fear that you wont be able to be fair, then marry only one). - Quran, 4:3

As for taking a second wife without telling the first - you shouldnt try it. People will think you are committing zina with the 2nd one, as you kept it all hush hush, and when the 1st one does find out, you are going to have serious problems.

If you want 2 wives, tell her first, and see if you can handle her anger, and whether she can handle your decision. if you cant, stick with her. Remember that Ibrahim (as) only ever had one wife, so you dont have to have a second one.

wwb

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answered 1792 mufti%20saab's gravatar image

mufti saab, how's it going? haven't seen you since the circumcision question. it's not a personal question for me, i'm not a muslim. I was reading the one woman's post about her husband's "girl" friend and female co-workers. I thought I remembered, everyone's favorite scholar Muhammad al-munijjad's website, isalmqa.com saying that a husband doesn't have to tell the first wife about the second, or get her permission. so I thought maybe the husband was just finding another wife? and therefore she would have no reason/right to be upset. sound advice above, but can you give me a yes or no answer?

(Nov 23 '13 at 15:59) mikejm3 mikejm3's gravatar image

so hagar was not a wife? a concubine then, like mary the copt?

oh yeah, a yes or no and some "proofs"? ;) thanks boss.

btw, did you miss the big debate on following the madhads?

(Nov 23 '13 at 16:00) mikejm3 mikejm3's gravatar image

oh, i didnt realise it was you. If i had, i wouldnt have answered you. sorry.

(Nov 23 '13 at 16:35) mufti saab mufti%20saab's gravatar image

Salaam also keep in mind that it is permissible for you to take more than one. It is BEST to have one. There is more reward for doing what is best. Salaam

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answered 1.6k313 sadie's gravatar image

No he does not need permission from his first wife. As the permission to marry more then one is given by Allah swt

No one can take that right away from you that which has been granted by Allah swt. Obviously if you choose to exercise that right.

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answered 101 Jiggstar's gravatar image
edited Nov 23 '13 at 17:06

Will I disagree with you and agree with you,remember it will also effect the first wife because other women is taking her place. I also agree with you because it up to the husband how many time he want to merry some or share he e same bed.

In sort I will say is the husband need to ask permission from the wife because later on it will cause a lots of problem whether it is physical or emotional, sometime it will also make husband and wife to live seprate and divorce each other, think before you act.

Salam

(Nov 24 '13 at 06:41) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

Irrelevant what we feel Allah swt has given us permission. In regards to permission there is no Islamic requirement to seek permission as it is the mans right.

If a women chooses to divorce on the basis that a man chooses to excersise his Allah given right then that falls on her

It would be better but again that is up to the man as he will know best how to deal with his wife, but if he chooses not to tell her or seek her permission he has not committed any wrong.

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answered 101 Jiggstar's gravatar image

Okie jazakallah Kyre

(Nov 24 '13 at 07:06) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

jiggstar, thank you for your forthright answer. so you don't buy into this non-sense that american muslims are trying to convince people that men and women are equal in islam. that a husband should or rather needs to consult a wife on desicions? especially major one's. "husband knows best". end of story.

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answered (suspended) mikejm3's gravatar image

No the question was if a womens permission is required to marry a second wife.in this case it is not a requirement.

How does that infringe on the womens equality? One of the main criteria when marrying more than one women is they must be treated equally.

So if a man has three wives and wishes to take a fourth would that mean he requires three permissions OR a democratic vote it makes no sense there would be a stalemate.

You cannot use one situation and translate that template into every given situation.That it being too simplistic

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answered 101 Jiggstar's gravatar image

thanks, i know the question, i asked it. clearly if a man can have multiple wives but the wife can't have multiple husbands, men and women aren't equal. if the wife doesn't need to be consulted or even told of the husband taking a second wife, she is clearly not much more than a child in their relationship. to be told what to do and to accept the action of the parent/husband without question.

well if there are 3 people voting you can't have a stalemate, unless one abstains. maybe taking the third wife would have been a better scenerio. ;)

"You cannot use one situation and translate that template into every given situation.That it being too simplistic" i agree totally. i don't try to translate a template from the 7th century into the 21st century. that would be overly simplistic. lol.

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answered (suspended) mikejm3's gravatar image

Haha so that one question that a man chooses not to ask his wife in your eyes degrades her to the extent that she is a "child" so everything in a womans life evolves on that one single issue now that is being simplistic you place little value on a woman if that is the be alll and end all of equality.

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answered 101 Jiggstar's gravatar image

Mike that why we don't answer your question because every time we answer your question according to islam you make it sound so misleading and unfair . Mike why don't you start doing your searching again instead of bordering us!

My dear Muslim brother and sister I belive you all be aware of human right in islam and that everyone equal the same and Allah have give them the same right whether is husband or wife and etc.....

U can also read this site to find out for your self how husband and wife are treat each other .

http://www.islamswomen.com/marriage/fiqh_of_marriage_8.php

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answered 60618 Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image
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Asked: Nov 23 '13 at 10:54

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Last updated: Nov 24 '13 at 13:12


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