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if my husband spend one hour of a night with a girl with lock room frm inside.and says that he didnt do any thing wrong inside just had a chat with the girl. how shall i believe him?? what does islam says abt this. plz help me this thing is on my mind since that night. my husband keeps on saying that nothing happened but i dont know why i cannot believe him. plz plz help me getting out of this condition and how to forget all.

asked 101 sana12345's gravatar image

Mike I mean it ,when you are answering someone question be serious because they are gong to take your answer serious so stop it. First read what is her problem and then answered her question. Mike if he was cheating on her he shouldn't have told her thy truth! How would you know if he is cheating, hey! You should advice her and try to ease her difficulty! Grow up!

(Nov 24 '13 at 13:19) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

Need to be answer

**Mod don't you think this should be post in community site under relationship/marriage/marital issue**

(Nov 24 '13 at 17:43) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

give that woman her passport back. even if you think you have a right to enslave her, that will get her out of the house. problem solved.

(Nov 26 '13 at 12:06) mikejm3 mikejm3's gravatar image

Yes, mike saying the truth if you guys give her passport them everything will be solve but if her family or somebody else have her passport then ask them and give the girl her passport back. Everything will be solve if she goes back where she came from, there will be no argument between husband and wife if you do this.

Salam

(Nov 26 '13 at 12:14) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

aww,

The Prophet (saw) has said that when a man and woman are alone, shaytaan is the third - you should explain this to him. He may not have done anything, but tell him something physical could happen in future, and firmly tell him you dont want him to do it again. Tell him the thought of it causes you a lot of pain, and you are very saddened by his actions.

wwb

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answered 1792 mufti%20saab's gravatar image

i have been telling him since that night that i am too much hurt and he keeps on saying sorry and says this will not happen again and promised me. and he is also saying that i just had chat and nothing else at all. but still im not satisfied. this is not getting away from my mind and i amvery upset

(Nov 23 '13 at 15:59) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image

Sister if he say he hasn't done anything with her then belive him because sometime sitan (devil) play with out mind however if you have seen him again and again with that girl then you need to think about physical relation about him and her.

Who was that girl?

Thanks

(Nov 23 '13 at 16:06) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

she is our servant

(Nov 23 '13 at 16:32) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image

Did you ask your husband why did he speak to her? Was she upset about something? Can you please tell me more about the girl so we can sort this problem abs we answer your question according to islam and fairly . Thanks

Sorry I forget to mention did he spend spend that hour in girl house or in your bedroom?

(Nov 23 '13 at 16:39) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

in our house in her bedroom. we live in dubai and she is frm india. my husband says he went to washroom and he heard her crying so went in her room to ask and closed the room so no one will see them talking at that time of nite as we live in joint family. i woke up to go to washroom then i saw my husband not in bed. then i thought he must be in washroom but when i went out of my room i saw my husband coming out of her room

(Nov 24 '13 at 02:04) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image

we live in dubai and my brother in law with whom we live in the same house has called that girl frm india and my husband says that she was crying and saying that i want to go back to india but they have kept her passport. and they r taking too much work and paying less

(Nov 24 '13 at 02:06) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image

Salam my dear sister, Sister there is no need to suspect your husband of having physical relationship with her, you said "my husband went to washroom and heard her crying so he went to her room and she ask her to closed the door" sister do you what does this show us, will I tell you the girl is going a difficult time so when she crying in her room it basically mean she is sham to cry in front of other or she doesn't want other to know because she isn't comfortable with other, sister keep reading...

(Nov 24 '13 at 06:25) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

You said she ask my husband to look the door, just tell me sister what would you do when you upset about something and you don't want other to know but then someone find out so you are going to talk to him in private and tell him everything I think that why she ask your husband to lock the door. Sister I belive you wouldn't talk to someone who will spread everything around. Sister, the sister look so upset you should be helping her instead of suspecting her about bad things. Try to understand her and talk to her by your self in you don't want your husband to help her

(Nov 24 '13 at 06:31) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

If you husband were cheating on you he shouldn't have told you the truth and I believe your husband trying to help however if you see your husband again with her in lock room then you need to suspect him of having physical relationship! I will say tell your husband that your will talk to her instead of him and tell him stay away from female room because people will start have a suspicion feeling about you.

Salam you can also private message me in community site if you need more help.

(Nov 24 '13 at 06:35) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

i know it is allowed in islam, but it is no longer allowed in the modern world. you are enslaving this girl and holding her against her will. you need to report your husband or brother-in-law to the authorities. this is considered human trafficing. you cannot withhold someone's passport, not even in dubia. if the local authorities don't help this girl, you need to call an NGO like human rights watch. should be easy to get traction right now with all the news of the treatment of foriegn workers building the world cup facilities in qatar right now. i don't care what muhammad did, you can't

(Nov 25 '13 at 11:40) mikejm3 mikejm3's gravatar image

enslave people anymore. your religion can't protect you from such immoral behavior. you should be ashamed of your self and your family. husband cheating or not, this is deplorable behavior and cannot stand.

bibi, you are right, she should be helping this woman. not worrying about locked doors.

(Nov 25 '13 at 11:47) mikejm3 mikejm3's gravatar image

What do you mean" your religion can't protect you " are you serious!

(Nov 26 '13 at 12:09) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

i am very serious. why do the emirates think they can behave this way?

(Nov 26 '13 at 12:13) mikejm3 mikejm3's gravatar image

over here in dubai majority of the people have called maids frm there country specially frm india and bangladesh and they have kept there passports. u know who calls maid have to spend around 1 lac on her visa n tikets. so if they give passport they will work for u for two mths and if doesnt feel good will leave when they want. there have been so many cases like this. so who calls maid have to keep her passport to b on safe side

(Nov 27 '13 at 06:05) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image

the main thing about which im worried is that weather my husband is telling the truth or not. he is saying that they both had this chat but how shall i believe him. tell me some way by which this thing gets off my mind plzz

(Nov 27 '13 at 06:09) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image

she is not our servant so this is not in our hand to give her passport back. and secondly we r living in the same house on upper portion and i see all day there is not at all much work load on her. all evening she is watching tv. and my bro in law n her wife both r doing job so no one at home all day to give her loads of work or check her . and they r spending so much money on her paying around 1000 dirhams per mth. still she is unhappy i dont know why and im sure if they will give her passport she will run away

(Nov 27 '13 at 06:14) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image

sorry i don't follow you. "spend around 1 lac on her visa n tickets". what is lac? are you saying that you have alot of out of pocket expensed to bring them to dubai, so you are allowed to take their passport? i don't think so. people are allowed to leave when they want. if she breaks an employment contract with you or her agency, that is a civil matter. you can't keep people against their will. that is called slavery. and the dirham is pegged to the USD at 3.6725, so we are talking about less then $300/month. anyway, it sounds like they don't even need a maid. no work for her, let her go.

(Nov 27 '13 at 11:53) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image

as for the "islamic" aspect of your husbands possible infidelity. read the 24th surah. you need four witnesses to accuse someone of being unchaste. and if you are proven wrong it's 80 lashes for you.

(Nov 27 '13 at 11:55) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image

Salam,

Sana my dear sister please private message me then we will talk about this properly and I will try to solve your problem.

Sal am

(Nov 27 '13 at 12:16) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

bibi, there may be others in a similar situation. why can you not give her your solution here. that way others may be able to benefit as well. this is a common practice throughout Arabia, to bring in domestic servants from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. sometimes Sri Lanka as well. or the Philippines or Indonesia. lots of young women without there walis travel to foreign lands to work for their families. odd considering in islam men are the maintainers and protectors. you should know this, aren't you of Pakistani origin? now that you are in the bosom of the west, you have no compassion

(Nov 27 '13 at 16:32) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image

for this home sick girl? clearly she doesn't want to remain trapped in Dubai.

(Nov 27 '13 at 16:35) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image

Mike I want to ask her some question and I don't know if she want to answer the question here or not......?

(Nov 27 '13 at 16:41) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

bibi ive begn trying to msg u private but there is some problem the msg is not going. u can email me

(Nov 27 '13 at 22:31) sana12345 sana12345's gravatar image
showing 5 of 23 show all

how shall i message u private???

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answered 101 sana12345's gravatar image

Click on he advertisement at the top and under your name saying introducing community from islam.com then click you email "zero message" then type my name and send me message :)

(Nov 24 '13 at 06:52) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image
(Nov 24 '13 at 06:53) Bibi Amina ♦ Bibi%20Amina's gravatar image

Salam sis,

I know you aren't able to trust your husband right now, but that's the thing that you have to do. I know all you need is closure of some sort, but all these ideas are just satan whispering in your ear. Imagine if you were that girl and feeling depressed and wanting to go home, and this nice man came to talk to you and you talked to him, and suddenly his wife accuses you of doing something bad with him. Total crap right? But if he does it again, then you can accuse him of doing whatever. Tell him not to do it again. And also, if the girl wants to go home, give her her passport and let her go home. You can't hold anyone against their will man. But you say she hardly does anything? Maybe she just feels alone. And you can help her with that. Be nice to her. You're thinking of yourself, and I don't blame you, but what about her? And you just have to say something stupid, don't ya Mike? I understand that some of the Islamic rules are totally crazy and aren't allowed these days, like 80 lashes and stuff, which I don't get. And really? You've made another account? How many now, 5? Just to stay on the forum and comment all day right? Don't you have canoeing or something?

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answered 167 answerer's gravatar image

sorry answerer, getting too cold for canoeing. so enlighten me, what was stupid in what i said? ou said practically the same thing?

closer to 25 than 5.

(Dec 02 '13 at 11:13) mikejm4 mikejm4's gravatar image

I'll let ya figure that out yourself.

(Dec 02 '13 at 13:50) answerer answerer's gravatar image
-1

that just maybe his second wife. i looks like you have no right to know if your husband has taken another wife.

how did that get voted down. that's what jiggstar said.

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answered (suspended) mikejm3's gravatar image
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Asked: Nov 23 '13 at 15:44

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Last updated: Dec 02 '13 at 13:50


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