Assalamwalakum okay so i have been caught previously texting a guy then later when school started I started meeting him again, then one day suddenly my mom comes and sees me with the same guy i was caught texting. I was already in so much trouble from the past but i am bear all of this because I want to get married with this guy. The guy is 21 and I am 16 My parents dont even look at me anymore or talk to me, my dad gave me 3 decisions 1-dropout 2-go call the guy 3- go back to school do good and make not even a tiny mistake Now i would go with option 3 but I have gone some much trouble with this guy and I really admire this guy alot for not leaving and still supporting me even through I went through so much.I have to make a decision and tell them a day from now and I would want to say to continue school and get married to him later.. But I am scared cuz its just sounds weird to tell my parents this I dont even know what they will think of this, but I do want to tell them because I dont want to hide anymore because this is the guy i want to end up with. Now he though of meeting my dad? how do I tell my dad that? and what things should I be concerned about? tips and suggestion plzzz. And now u might be like I am too young or something, I have a very mature mentality since I have endured alot then what a child should in their childhood, I am not going to give up my education after I marry this guy I would want to continue and have a good job. but idk what my parents will think my parents have a old family thinking, they are indian, they would basically do anything to save their reputation. I have literally 1 day to decide so plz help me with the best advice, and I cant forget this guy if you will suggest that. I mean this guy could have found his age or something noticing all the restrictions i have or something to fulfill himself but he didn't instead he stayed and supported me. so what shall i do now
Marriage is such a relationship which creates a strong bond and love between two different people of two different backgrounds. Marriage is a Sunnāh of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam as well as a blessing from Allah Subhāhahu Wa Ta’ālā.
However, when it is done in a way which is against the orders of Allah and against the laws of Shari’āh, it is deprived from blessings and it brings grief, sorrow, depression, loneliness, etc. The point is that, this relationship that you have with this man is indeed an act of Harām. Failing to abstain from such a sin will trigger the anger of Allah Subhānahu Wa Ta’ālā and will deprive you from many blessings.
The greatest quality that is considered in a marriage is piety. With piety comes harmony and a peaceful life. As for love marriages, they usually do not last for too long bringing a bitter and a devastating end since their foundations were corrupted right from the beginning.
Furthermore, regarding your parents, their obedience is a must as long as they do not contradict with the laws of Shari’āh. Allah Subhānah Wa Ta’ālā has mentioned in the Qurān:
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا O )الإسراء: 23(
“And your Lord has decreed that you do not worship (anyone) except Him, and do good to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age (while) with you, say not to them (even as little as), “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (17:23)
Allah has given your parents a lot of rights over you. They have done everything for you since childhood. They have given you so much love and have sacrificed their happiness just for you. You must consider your parents as your well wishers. Whatever they do for you, will definitely be for your own good. Your happiness lies within the happiness of your parents. You can never enjoy life while your parents are heartbroken. Today, you have the chance of pleasing your parents. Tomorrow, they will no longer be alive in this world to look after you and advise you. As they say, “Whatever goes around comes around”. If you break the hearts of your parents today, tomorrow when your children grow up, they will do the same with you.