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Assalam-allaykum, I've known this girl for long period of time. The first time I met her was at mosque when we were 8-9 years of age. She didn't last long in the mosque. Sadly, in the start of secondary school I met her, we weren't close or anything. However, in between that year we had the same lessons and became friends. It took my 3 months after that to realize how fake she was to me. I was messed up back then. In year 8 (2nd year of school) she started to get on my nerves. I didn't react back and was afraid of her. She kept pushing me and laughing at me. I wanted to get out of this friendship, so did my other friend (who is now my best friend) she was soo self obsessed and bitchy, yet came to say I was the fake one and all that.

Now, in year 9. Me and my other friend lets call her 'Alima' started to hang out alone from her and this other friend of ours. We started to bond and found a new group member lets call her 'Rabeil' it's only been a month since we've been hanging out and I've been feeling confident in school as-well as Alima. I still have this girl in the same lessons (Maths, Science, R.E, Spanish)she has gotten better and has asked for my forgiveness for her previous behavior, however it spells she tells me everything about her life and every problem. She has only thanked me once. She keeps bringing up inappropriate subjects like 'Intercourse, masturbation' and in the summer she got her cousin brother molesting her. She told me everything, her other older friend Kristine called some Psychiatrist, which a social worker got involved and got my friend into more trouble. She claims that she doesn't deserve this (personally, I believe this is karma) I was trying to be a good friend so I didn't back chat neither did I make fun of her situation. But, I'm just fed up to the point where I just want to nicely tell her to, just get lost.. Or just fade away from me. She takes everything so offensively! I'm fed up of having her sit next to me in the main subjects she disturbs me and my grades aren't as good, especially in Science! If I don't answer her Facebook message she asks why I don't reply. Just yesterday I couldn't get out of my bed, I was cramping soo bad.

Her: you where hooooooome? Me: Yeah. Couldn't get up, was cramping soo bad. Her: Ow shit happens deal with it, you coming in the morning?

Just a few seconds ago she tells me this; 'Guess what? I'm getting my tongue pierced hurraaay.'

The tongue thing doesn't bother me, I'm used to hearing it from her... Sadly. Anyways, she has soo many days off, you wouldn't see me complaining. The tongue thing. She is a 'Muslim' she first wanted her belly pierced and tattooed (it wasn't a good tattoo idea anyway. Like if you're going to get a tattoo. get something creative!) She hasn't yet got it tattooed neither pierced.

She considers herself 'Emo' and says why do people hate me. She says she's ugly (I tell her beautiful otherwise) She acts nothing like one (well, I'm not sure). She cuts her arm and flashes it to everyone, then wonders why someone snitches or something. Don't get me wrong she's nice, but I'm not thinking of having contact with her when I leave secondary school (although, she loves down the street!)

The tongue piercing thing, she'll be going on and on about it tomorrow. She said she's bisexual. I'm scared that she counts me more than her 'friend'. I do love her as a sister, but she's going the wrong path. I've just decided what path I want to go to. I want to get closer to Allah. I've even been too Umrah twice! I know I'm a specialist with 'counselling' and that :P but, I don't wanna be sinned anymore. How do I tell her?

I'm soo sorry about the longness of this. But, I'm fed up of being afraid and not answering back. I want to be confident. Thanks for your time.

I only asked this on a Islamic site because, If I asked on another site they wouldn't give professional answers. I apologize. خُدا حافِظ

-Insha

asked 101 Zakkiya's gravatar image

asalaam o alaikum, sounds like your friend is living in a family of non practicing Muslims. She seems to be getting futher and futher away from the straight path. Glad to hear that you want to be closer to Allah, and to be a good rightous muslim.

You can lead by example and make reminders to your ,so called friend.This in two ways. Tell her, you are now practicing, and will have to refrain from her lifestyle. This would mean you up holding all your rights and duties as a muslim.

Secondly, you can guide your friend , by these reminders and your example. Your friend will soon come to realise 2 things also. One that she wants you as a good friend and be a good muslim also. Or she will deviate away from you and continue to stray, which if she does, she will find you very boring and unsociable. ( all of which are an illusion to those that seek fun and games as a lifes tasks)

As you must know, it is hard and not advisable to have friends that are not practicing, when you are trying to practice and be a good Muslim, as these people can drag you down and create dilemmas, which can compromise your faith. But saying this, to advice and lead by example, are all you can do, and perhaps not to totally disengage from your friend, unless things are totally unacceptable for you to bare. But there is a reward in it for you, if you can turn this girl around. And remember also, it is ultimatley Allahs will, that she returns or not.

Regarding your sinning, ask Allah for guidance and strength. And up hold the duties of a muslim when ever you are in contact with this girl. Above all, remember who you are and what you are and your goal in this life is for the life after. Keep this in mind with the remembrance of Allah, and you cant go wrong.

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answered 3487 abyadgirl's gravatar image

Jazakallah. Thank you. I apologize on behalf of my grammar. I'm just wondering what I should say to her. If I tell her that she's going the wrong path or tell her that I am practicing and I'm just going to basically refrain from her, she'll think i'm being racist blah blah. I just really wanna start paying attention to my own life. I might just going to take some of your advice! :-) May Allah bless you.

(Dec 08 '13 at 09:53) Zakkiya Zakkiya's gravatar image
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Asked: Dec 04 '13 at 16:34

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Last updated: Dec 08 '13 at 09:55



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