Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh,   My husband and I have been married for 2 years. H e is 27 and I’m 31. I’ve been a revert for Six years and he has been one for 2 years. We now have a one year old son. A month after our marriage things started to go wrong.  Arguing, fighting and hardship, I then found out that I was pregnant, but our marriage became worst. We finally separated and during this time he got involved with another woman. I then asked for a divorce, it took some time before he did so. When he divorced me which was our very fist divorce I was 5 months into my pregnancy. Some time went by and he wanted us to get back together. I talked to our Imaan here in town, he stated that by me being pregnant, the rules changes in divorce and that we can reconcile, have intercourse and our marriage will still be valid. We did so! Sad to say we continue to have more problems, we divorced again our second time. A month went by and once again we reconciled, announced to my mother and family members that we we’re back together. Month’s later problems continued, and I kept asking for a divorce out of anger but deep down I really didn’t want the divorce.  And he refused to do so. So I finally stop asking for it, hoping that things will finally work out for good. So two weeks later, he got extremely anger with me. He called me on my phone we started to argue.  I hung up on him; I did not mention any thing of a divorce.  On my voicemail he left a hostile upsetting message, sounding with a mix of intoxication. He divorced me then for the third time. 2 hours later he came to my home (still in the form of intoxication from prescription drugs, he says). He divorced me again not meaning it from his heart and still with anger. With all of this my husband was dealing with drugs, alcohol, depression and his prior life style. Adapting trying  to l still trying to get the concept in his heart and mind of Islam (Muslim). He never wanted to divorce me through all of this.  He is thinking that our divorce is not valid because he was very angry and intoxicated and not in his right mind. I thought we were and now I’m confused. My step dad that is Muslim, who married us say that we are. But he doesn’t’ care for my husband at all. My husband is now sincere, wanting and trying to get his life together in his deen, as a man, a husband and father. He wants our marriage more now than ever!!!  Is our marriage invalid?? Is there any way we can work this out??  He’s crying out for help and wanting his family.  

asked 10 Sajedah's gravatar image
edited Dec 12 '13 at 05:52 stronghold ♦ 5205 stronghold's gravatar image

Dear sister, Indeed it was sad to hear your story , May Allah give you strength and do good for you... As per your question 2 divorce have already done and the third one is doubtful , right ? As far as divorce is concern , it is always given in anger. There is a hadeeth in Bukhari that " 3 things always take place either said in jest or in seriousness and they are Nikah , divorce and taking back one's wife " [And acc. to other narration it is emancipation of slave instead of taking back one's wife]. So it is clear that INTENTION IS NOT TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION in case of divorce.[So his saying that " he divorced me again not meaning it from his heart and still with anger" has no effect as in case of divorce it is always the word and not the intention if the word "DIVORCE" have been used]..... Now there is another hadeeth of Prophet(peace be upon him) which says " La talaqa fii ighlaaq " means there is no divorce in IGHLAAQ. Now what is IGHLAAQ - The jurists (fuqaha) have categorized anger into three stages:

1) Initial stages of anger in a way that one's mind is mentally sound, and fully conceiving and comprehending what one is saying. IN SUCH A CASE , DIVORCE WILL BE EFFECTED WITHOUT DOUBT..

2) IGHLAAQ - Extreme anger to the point of sanity (junun), in that one is unaware where one is, what one is saying, what are the implications of these words, etc.IN SUCH A CASE , DIVORCE WILL NOT COME INTO EFFECT.

3) In between the above two stages, in that one was extremely angry but not to the point of insanity (junun), and was aware of what one was saying. In this case also, DIVORCE WILL BE EFFECTED. (See: Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, 3/244 & other fiqh references).............

In normal and majority of the cases, the anger does not reach the level of insanity[i.e. IGHLAAQ] as outlined in category number two, thus divorce is valid and effected. However, in particular circumstances, when the anger does reach the level of insanity[i.e. IGHLAAQ], and one can not distinguish between black and white, then indeed divorce will not count. ONE MUST KEEP IN MIND ACCOUNTABILITY TO ALLAH ALMIGHTY AND THEN DECIDE FOR HIM/HERSELF.

Therefore, you mentioned that your husband divorced you in anger and that he regretted it later. This means he knew what he did and he knew what he is saying,thus In light of the abovementioned explanation, THE DIVORCE WILL COUNT and the legal ruling will not be lifted due to normal anger.......

Divorce while intoxication - is also valid.Kindly refer to the following fatawa : http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=12&ID=2898&CATE=11

http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=12&ID=2431&CATE=114

This is an advice and the detailed explanation of your circumstances , kindly go to some reputed scholar of fiqh and ask about your situation and mention everything clearly specially the third divorce and what was the exact state of your husband and do not exaggerate the intoxication thing because know that you have an ACCOUNTABILITY TO ALLAH ALMIGHTY and ALLAH KNOWS WHAT IS HIDDEN AND WHAT IS KEPT SECRET .

May Allah do good for you and all muslims across the globe. Ameen. Wassalaam And Allah knows the best.

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answered 804 Ahmadomar's gravatar image

Thank you for the information...Allahu Alim

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answered 10 Sajedah's gravatar image

In case you want to re-marry him again after three divorces, it is still possible if you marry someone else for a while and then divorce, at that time you can return/marry him again (after completingyour 3eda/number of time between two marriage(to see if there is a child or not)).

Al salaamou alaikoum

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answered 377116 inclined2truth's gravatar image

The point is that divorce in remarriage is not to be planned before otherwise it will be a sin... Another thing is that in remarriage the marriage should get consummated before which remarriage is not possible.

Sahih Bukhari - Vol7.Hadeeth-186: Narrated Aisha:The wife of Rifaa Al−Qurazi came to Allah's Apostle and said,"O Prophet!Rifaa divorced me irrevocably. After him I married Abdur−Rahman bin Az−Zubair Al−Qurazi who is impotent." Allah's Apostle said to her, "Perhaps you want to return to Rifaa? Nay (you cannot return to Rifaa) until you andAbdur−Rahman consummate your marriage."

(Dec 13 '13 at 12:08) Ahmadomar Ahmadomar's gravatar image

Sahih Bukhari Vol.7.Hadeeth 187: Narrated `Aisha: A man divorced his wife thrice (by expressing his decision to divorce her thrice), then she married another man who also divorced her. The Prophet was asked if she could legally marry the first husband (or not). The Prophet replied, "No, she cannot marry the first husband unless the second husband consummates his marriage with her, just as the first husband had done."

(Dec 13 '13 at 12:08) Ahmadomar Ahmadomar's gravatar image

Exactly brother! their marriage should get consummated, so they should intercourse and if he want to keep her as a wife, he keep her.

(Dec 13 '13 at 14:17) inclined2truth inclined2truth's gravatar image
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Asked: Dec 11 '13 at 16:44

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Last updated: Dec 13 '13 at 14:17


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