My husband and I have been married 4 and a half years ans we have 2 beautiful boys mashallah.
It was an arranged marriage but we did get to nw one another prior to Nikkah. When we were maried I was his world he was honest and so romantic and affectionate. After a few months he stopped showing interest in the bedroom depart,ent and always wanted me to play with him but didn't want nothing more. After the birth of my 1st son (2 and 1/2 years ago) my husband hasn't come near me and even if I have tried....apart from once when I fell pregnant with my 2nd son. It has nw been 18 months since my husband has self willingly come to me.. He has a busy job we have recently bought our own house and he feels he is under pressure to provide although we are able to pay bill mortgage comfortably. He has been on anti depressants for 5 years and It has come to a point where I think I don't nw who he is. He is not the same person it feels like every time I want a hug or kiss he makes it out likes he doing me a favour or outright refuses with a number of excuse- it feels as though I'm asking him to do chores around the house d way he acts. I am a good wife and mother , however this is starting to concern me but every time I speak to him he says I'm being silly and over exaggerating things. I am good looking and often get other girls and aunties telling him how lucky he is..but he just laughs it of.
We nw sleep in different rooms as he 'needs sleep' when the kids get up at night. I am a teacher and am able to work to take of the stress however he wants me to stay at home and raise the kids. I feel alone and have no one to talk to. The frustration has caused a few outbursts and our once open relationship feels like everything's a secret. He's not open and he has started to lie about small silly things...I don't nw what to do I loved him for who he was and I stil tel him everyday that I love him..but do I? He's not the same so how can I love him. I want his affection not sex..
He sais v shud spend more time yet. He can't spare any he meets his friends in the vending or stays at home and watching tv series ore recorded till earli morning. I want my marriage to work.... My family love him as he's always the bubble jolly man he is in front of people but alone I feel he's lost..I've been patient but nw I've come to the point where I don't care??? Accepted that this is how it wil b from nw on.. The days where he wouldn't let go of my hand to where he walks in front of me on the street...I jus don't understand how I should go from here..how do I make this work? When I stay at my mums he texts and calls says he misses me and our boys and that he wants us ..but when I'm der he pushes me away...I've started to let myself go I don't make d effort to get ready nicely most days cos what's the point? It has got to me nw and I want him to want me again but how?