Assalamu alaikum,

I have question about marriage. Currently I’m 24 unmarried and want to get married. I have been in-contact with someone for 10 years. He has asked me out a few times in the past. I have liked him on and off since I’ve known him, although we have never been in a relationship and have only really communicated through texts and rarely phone calls. At the moment he is in another country and isn’t back til April. He said he wants a relationship, but respects that I have never done that before and that there would be no physical aspect to it. We have spoke about marriage and I realised that we are in two different places. When he comes back he’s going to need to get a job and we are going to need to meet see if we want to marry each other. Either way he wants to get married in a year or two or maybe even three, til he’s in a comfortable job and we get to know each other. I am in a place where I want to get married, not sure I want to wait for someone who I’m not even sure think will work out. He has a few bad habits that I really don’t like, like drinking occasionally and smoking. He says he will stop them both and has recently stopped drinking because of our discussion. Neither of us is very religious and I know I should be asking Allah for guidance and probably do an istikhara. I don’t want to do the wrong thing and I don’t want to hurt him either.

Also, is it ok to ask a potential spouse about his previous relationships and how far they got?

What do you think I should do?

Jazakallah

asked 10 Aisha123456789's gravatar image

It's up to Allah to put you and him in a spot. I think it's better if you get to know each other, meet other physically, and help him with his bad habits. now or never. make sure you guys both know what to do in your lives, job, career, and talk to your parents and the parents talk to each other too. Wait till he comes back , make sure you guys are still talking and communicating any way as possible. I hope this help and I don't want you to be pressured or to get hurt, so good luck

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answered 1181518 IAmAMuslim's gravatar image
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Asked: Dec 22 '13 at 15:34

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Last updated: Dec 22 '13 at 16:24


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